Arthur Upmore Quotes in Carry on Behind (1975)

[Linda's mother brings her cacti on holiday with her]

Linda Upmore: Mummy your not bringing them are you?

Daphne Barnes: Well I can't leave them at home, they'll die.

Arthur Upmore: Good.

Daphne Barnes: Did you say something?

Arthur Upmore: I said good, we've nearly finished packing.

[Daphne asks the taxi driver who brought her plants to put them somewhere safe, but Arthur gets a prodd from the Cactus on his bottom]

Daphne Barnes: Put that on the table will you?

Arthur Upmore: AHH! BLOODY HELL!

Daphne Barnes: Arthur, there is no need for that!

Arthur Upmore: Oh deary me, bless me soul, I do believe I nearly said a rude word, which is not suprising since I nearly got a cactus spike right up my a...

Daphne Barnes: ARTHUR!

[Professor Vrooshka cleans her dirty caravan but finds her scrubbing brush isn't up to standard to do the job]

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Ahh, scrubber. Scrubber no working, borrowing from comrades.

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Excuse please, ahh this is nice, this is very nice, no?

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: In this caravan your not getting much crumpet, no?

Arthur Upmore: Pardon?

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: CRUMPET.

Arthur Upmore: Yes that's what I thought you said.

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: You see, I am keeping a, how you say, a dirrrty caravan.

Arthur Upmore: Keeping a what?

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: You see, I am having birds in my caravan you want to come and see?

Arthur Upmore: No thank you, not just now.

Prof. Anna Vrooshka: Therefore, I am going round camp looking for scrubbers.

Arthur Upmore: Really?