Arresting Officer Quotes in Up in Smoke (1978)

Arresting Officer: Sir, could I please see your license?

Pedro: Whuut?

Arresting Officer: Your license. Where's your license?

Pedro: It's back there on the bumper, man!

Arresting Officer: No, I mean your DRIVER'S license.

Pedro: Oh yeah, I got the bullshit back here man...

[gets license with great difficulty]

Pedro: Hey I thought'a somethin' really funny, man... Your mother!

[laughs]

Arresting Officer: [after dirty look, of course] Sir, what's your name?

Pedro: uuhhh... Isn't in on the license, man? Yeah, that's it! Pedro De Pacas, man, that's my name...

Arresting Officer: [to Man] Sir, what's your name?

Pedro: Whut? I told you my name, man!

Arresting Officer: [to Man] Sir... what's YOUR name?

Pedro: [to Man] Hey man! The dude wants to know your name, man!

[Man vomits onto the floor of the car]

Pedro: Uuhhh - His name is RAALLLPH, man!

Judge Maxwell: Officer! What are these people being charged with

Arresting Officer: It's kind of hard to explain, Judge.

Judge Maxwell: Give it a shot.

Arresting Officer: Well we picked most of them out of San Francisco bay.

Judge Maxwell: Entering the country illegally?

Arresting Officer: No sir, they drove in.

Judge Maxwell: Into the country?

Arresting Officer: Into the bay.

Judge Maxwell: Ah, that's better. Unauthorized use of public water.

Arresting Officer: Mostly in stolen cars.

Judge Maxwell: Ah ha, that's grand larceny.

Arresting Officer: Then there was a shooting...

Judge Maxwell: That's assault with a deadly weapon.

Frederick Larrabee: They broke into my home.

Judge Maxwell: That's breaking and entering.

Frederick Larrabee: [indicating Eunice] And brought her with them forcibly!

Judge Maxwell: That's kidnapping.

Eunice: They tried to molest me.

Judge Maxwell: That's... unbelievable.

Arresting Officer: Sir, have you been drinking?

Ernest Dalby: Drinking? No no no. It was poured all over me.

Arresting Officer: Sheriff, pour him into the backseat.

Arresting Officer: Oh shit!

Ernest Dalby: You have a real way with words, sir.

[last lines]

Officer Moretti: What did he do?

Arresting Officer: Busted into a car who's alarm was going off. Who's gonna take him down to central booking?

Officer Moretti: He busted into a car cuz the alarm was going off? Jesus Christ, what if everybody did that?

Arresting Officer: If everyone did it, people would turn off their damned alarms, now wouldn't they?

Arresting Officer: Now that I've got you, who've I got?

Son of Sam: [smiling] You know.

Arresting Officer: No, I don't. Why don't you tell me?

Son of Sam: [still smiling] I'm Sam. Dave Berkowitz.

Arresting Officer: This is your receipt for your husband... and this is my receipt for your receipt.