Arnie Quotes in Airport 1975 (1974)

Arnie: What do you do in Salt Lake City?

Bill: I went there once. It was closed.

Bill: That's enough of that for you. The convention's over. I want you to taper off.

Bill: No more!

Sam: You should've stuck to the Blue Nun.

Arnie: We've got a plane to catch, Sammy boy!

Bill: [Drunk] We've got a plane!

Arnie: Bartender, another one all around.

Bill: No more!

Sam: [sings] California here I come right back where!

[Glass shatters - Mrs Devaney has her drinking glass knocked out of her hand at the airport by Sam]

Sam: I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. Oh excuse me...

Bill: Oh Sammy! I'm sorry he's a little sloshed. You know what I mean?... Listen, we'd like to buy you a drink.

Mrs. Devaney: Well, maybe a little bourbon on the rocks.

Bill: You got it. Nurse, bourbon on the rocks for the lady, please.

Mrs. Devaney: With a small beer chaser.

Arnie: Jesus Christ, a boilermaker.

Arnie: I think your alien visa just expired!

Michael Raynor: Who the hell are you?

Arnie: Your hostage man, what do you think?

Arnie: [quoting Jack] Don't screw up the best thing in your life just because you're a little unsure about who you are.

Arnie: A little flirtation is harmless but you're dealing with fire here. The fidelity bank and trust is a tough creditor. You make a deposit somewhere else, they close your account - FOREVER.

Miss Graveley: [Arnie puts a dead rabbit on the table while the Captain and Miss Graveley are having tea] What do you call him?

Arnie: Dead.

Capt. Wiles: Where did you get him?

Arnie: I found him.

Miss Graveley: Where did you find him?

Arnie: [Looking at the tea table] In the blueberry muffins.

Arnie: How do rabbits get born?

Sam Marlowe: Same way elephants do.

Sam Marlowe: Perharps I'll come back tomorrow.

Arnie: When's that?

Sam Marlowe: The day after today.

Arnie: That's yesterday. Today's tomorrow.

Sam Marlowe: It was.

Arnie: When was tomorrow yesterday?

Sam Marlowe: Today.

Arnie: Oh, sure. Yesterday.

Sam Marlowe: Didn't know you had such a pretty mother, Arnie.

Arnie: You think she's pretty, you should see my slingshot.

Arnie: How come you never came over to visit me before?

Sam Marlowe: I didn't know you had such a pretty mother, Arnie.

Arnie: You think she's pretty, you should see my slingshot.

Arnie: Ah, ya cheap shit.

Marty: What did you say?

Arnie: Oh gee, I didn't say nothing mister, you must be hearing things. Bye bye, Arnie loves you. Ya penis-head.

Marty: Now I heard that!

Arnie: Heard what?

Marty: I heard what you said!

Arnie: I didn't say nothing... Ya fat ass pussy.

Marty: I'm not gonna buy your damn video!

Arnie: But the kids will love it...

Marty: My kids will hate it because they think your show sucks!

Arnie: [after a long pause] Oh.

Samuel Faulkner: Thanks anyway.

Arnie: Oh sure, no hard feelings okay?

Marty: Alright.

[He and Samuel walk away]

Arnie: Ah ya cheap shit.

Arnie: I'll shove an "Arnie Loves You" lunchbox up your ass!

Arnie: Well, you say you like the dark horse, then you throw a fit when they don't come through.

Arnie: [about Arthur's grandfather] He keeps telling us you're going to make a great lawyer.

Arthur Kirkland: I wish he could remember that I AM a lawyer.

Arnie: Sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn't, what's it matter? He's still proud of you.

Arnie: Whoa! Where's your teeth?

Arthur Kirkland: What'd you do with your teeth, Grandpa?

Sam Kirkland: Did I have teeth the last time you visited me?

Arnie: Of course you had teeth, you had teeth this morning!

Arnie: Oh, you kids, you kids. You brought me a truck full of risks. Moral risks, legal risks, dollar, fiscal, economic. Help me, I'm stuck, my Freudian skirt is showing.

Arnie: You're a sensitive guy.

Cliff: I'm fucked up.

Arnie: No, but you're sensitive.

Arnie: Stop your killing and then maybe we'll talk about an acting career.

Arnie: I'm having a birthday party, but you're not invited, but you can come if you want.

Arnie: Match in the gas tank, *boom* *boom*!

Gilbert: [climbing of the water tower] It's not going to happen again. This is the last time. Right Arnie?

Arnie: It's the last time.

Gilbert: Okay. Let's go.

Arnie: But I want to go back up there again.

Gilbert: [to Becky] I don't know what to say.

Arnie: Say "thank you," Gilbert. "Thank you."

Gilbert: [whispering] Thank you.

Gilbert: You know what? You're such a big boy.

Arnie: Yeah!

Gilbert: You're such a big boy.

Arnie: I'm a big boy!

Gilbert: You know what? I bet you could do this all by yourself if you really wanted to. Could you do this by yourself?

Arnie: I'm a big boy!

Gilbert: Yeah, you're a big boy. Now take this...

Arnie: Take this.

Gilbert: Wash everything, your towels are there.

Arnie: Okay!

Gilbert: And your robe is there.

Arnie: Okay! The big boy is gonna wash himself!

Gilbert: Why will I take care of it?

Arnie: Gilbert...

Gilbert: Hmm?

Arnie: 'Cause you're Gilbert.

Gilbert: 'Cause I'm Gilbert.

Becky: It's okay,don worry about it.

Gilbert: no no I'm really... I'm really sorry

Becky: It's okay.

Gilbert: I'm really sorry.

Becky: Don't be sorry,Are you sorry?... no,I'm not sorry,he's not sorry,we're not sorry,don't be sorry.

Arnie: I'm not sorry

Tucker: How's momma?

Gilbert: She's fat.

Tucker: Come on, man. She's not all that big, Gilbert.

Gilbert: What?

Tucker: Listen, I saw a guy at the state fair who was... a little bit bigger.

Gilbert: A little bit bigger?

Tucker: Look, all I'm sayin' is that she's not the biggest I ever seen, okay?

Gilbert: Tucker, she's a whale!

Tucker: Well, take her out for a walk once in a while.

Gilbert: Take her out for a jog!

Arnie: She's a whale! Tucker, she's a whale!

Arnie: We're not going anywhere! We're not going anywhere!

Arnie: [looks at Gilbert in the truck] Where're you going?

Arnie: Dad's dead! Dad's dead! Dad's dead! Dad's dead! Dad's dead! Dad's dead!

Arnie: [In the middle of Mr. Carver's funeral] Gilbert, it's the Burger Barn! It's the Burger Barn, Gilbert, the Burger Barn!

[about his upcoming birthday party]

Arnie: Momma, I want hot dogs!

Momma: We're gonna have hot dogs, honey. I promise. We're gonna have hot dogs.

Arnie: Momma, I want hot dogs!

Momma: We're gonna have hot dogs.

Arnie: Gilbert, how many more miles 'til they get here?

Gilbert: Few million, buddy.

Arnie: Three?

Gilbert: Yeah.

Syd: What's going on? Where's Lucy?

Arnie: Uh... she died this morning.

Syd: That is... a really fucked up thing to say to me. Now... I don't know what Greta told you or anyone else, but you don't know shit about me and Lucy!

Arnie: It doesn't fucking matter now! It doesn't matter.

Arnie: [to Lucy about being shown]

Arnie: That's great, Luce! You've got yourself a cover. Good for fucking you!

Arnie: I'll wait for you, ladies. Enjoy your fight. I'll be right here when you're done.

Arnie: We're missing a real killer party.

[after getting hit with eggs by the opposing school's football players driving by in a truck]

Arnie: Why do the innocent always get hit in a drive-by?

Arnie: Pete! Where've you been? It's really good you're back! A lot of people are gonna be happy that you're back, including me!

Pete Dayton: Well, it's good to be back, Arnie.

Arnie: Mr. Smith is waiting for you.

Pete Dayton: Sure, I'll take care of him.

Arnie: And Mr. Eddy called every day asking about you. Can I call him and tell him to come in?

Pete Dayton: Sure, call him. Tell him to come in and I'm ready to work.

Arnie: You're ready to work?

Pete Dayton: I'm ready to work.

Arnie: [to the other garage employees] Pete is back!

[into a phone]

Arnie: There's nine people down here, and you can ask seven of them. If you can get that price from one of them, I'll let you ask the other two.