Archie Moses Quotes in Bulletproof (1996)

Archie Moses: This is a '70s porno. You know how I can tell? Because the guy's dick has sideburns.

Cop: Sir, have you had anything to drink today?

Archie Moses: [drunk] I had about a half a beer, the dog had a lot.

Archie Moses: Wow, Awesome! They got porno!

Archie Moses: See that, your head hurts 'cus you feel guilty.

Keats: My head hurts 'cus you shot me in it!

Archie Moses: I don't like your God. Your God scares me.

Archie Moses: You wank off a lot?

Chuck: What's a lot?

Archie Moses: You know, you got 5 minutes off, slip into one of the rooms, pull down your lil' panty's wack it.

Archie Moses: I saved our fuckin' life!

Archie Moses: I see you've got porno here

Chuck: Yes, we have an excellent selection

Archie Moses: Good I like the porn

Chuck: Well, good

Archie Moses: [Trying to escape out of the window in the shower, Keats puts his gun in his ass] AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!

Keats: Let me guess. You dropped the soap!

Archie Moses: Please take that thing out of my ass.

Keats: [Charlie, the motel manager looks up and sees them] I want you on the bed. Now.

Archie Moses: You'd better not kill me, man, I've got shit to do tomorrow!

Archie Moses: You can't stop fucking me over, can you?

Archie Moses: In actuality, I was hitting on her harder than you think, motherfucker! So why don't you step the fuck back before I bitch slap your fucking heiney!

Traci: Jack, Colton made me do it. He would've killed me if I hadn't done it...

Archie Moses: Ooh, watch it now, Keats, l she's playin' you.

Traci: But then I fell in love with you.

Archie Moses: But... then I fell... shut the fuck up!

Traci: I swear to God I did!

Archie Moses: Ah, she's lyin' out her devil ass!

Traci: Will you shut the fuck up?

Archie Moses: Why don't you make me?

[she knocks the gun out of his hand and punches him, sending him down the stairs]

Archie Moses: Jesus... I gotta learn how to fight; this is pathetic.

Archie Moses: Hey, Man! What are you doing? You just wasted good weed!

Archie Moses: [singing] And I will always love you...

Keats: WILL YOU SHUT UP? SHUT THE HELL UP!

Archie Moses: I got piss on me!

Archie Moses: You're a piece of shit, you know that, Keats?