Archie Long Quotes in Tough Guys (1986)
Archie Long Quotes:
Harry Doyle: [on the radio to Yablonski] We're running to Mexico!
Archie Long: Tell him to open the switches all the way, or we'll wreck the goddamn train.
Harry Doyle: [on the radio] Open the switches all the way, or we'll wreck the goddamn train.
Leon B. Little: Let's wreck the goddamn train anyway!
[Harry and Archie have crashed a train into Mexico. The federales show up]
Federale Captain: Buenos dias seÃ±ores. Put up your hands. I'm afraid you're under arrest.
[the federales aim their guns at Harry and Archie]
Harry Doyle: Eh, now wait a minute, wait a minute. This ain't fair!
Federale Captain: No?
Archie Long: SeÃ±or, there's twelve of you and... just two of us.
Federale Captain: Si?
Harry Doyle: A-and you got guns, and we got nothin'.
Federale Captain: But this is how we put you under arrest seÃ±or!
Archie Long: Where we come from...
[points back to the US]
Archie Long: ...they've got rules about making arrests.
Federale Captain: Rules?
[Harry and Archie nods]
Archie Long: Si.
Federale Captain: What kind of rules?
[Harry and Archie glance amused at each other with a "here we go again" look]
Archie Long: Well... for one thing...
[Archie kicks the captain in the crotch]
Archie Long: [from trailer]
[to the engineer]
Archie Long: Your train is being robbed.
Train Engineer: You're crazy. Nobody robs trains anymore.
Harry Doyle: [comes up behind engineer and puts gun to his neck] I'd say you've been misinformed.
Archie Long: Well, Derek... Am I hot?
Derek: You're practically on fire.
Harry Doyle: Well, what do you want to do now, Archie? Steal another empty armored truck? Maybe start a collection?
Archie Long: No, we've got to do something big. Something they woun't laugh at.
Harry Doyle: Like what?
Archie Long: We could take down the flier!
Harry Doyle: The Gold Coast Flier? That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard!
Archie Long: That's what you said about the armored truck.
Harry Doyle: No, I said the armored truck was dumb. This is stupid.
Archie Long: I never thought the great Harry Doyle would turn into a gutless wimp!
Harry Doyle: Keep it up Arch, I'll put another hole in that chin a yours!
Harry Doyle: What the hell are you doing here? I thought you was workin'.
Archie Long: I quit.
Harry Doyle: You quit?
Archie Long: Couldn't take it anymore. People treating me like dirt ever since I got out of jail. Sweeping out toilets, scraping crud off dishes, my girlfriend tryin' to kill me with sex - and I'm dressing like Bozo the Clown, just to fit in! I don't want to fit in anymore.
Harry Doyle: That makes two of us.
Archie Long: I'm tellin' ya, Harry...
Harry Doyle: I know, I know. We could have got away with it.
Archie Long: Did I say that before?
Harry Doyle: Every day for thirty years.
Harry Doyle: And I ain't goin' to your funeral!
Archie Long: You ain't invited!
[Archie has just landed a job at Penguin's]
Archie Long: What'll it be, sport?
Yogurt boy: Let me have strawberry yogurt. No, chocolate. No... Strawberry!
Archie Long: Look, kid... Just take your time, okay? Let me know when you've made up your mind.
Yogurt boy: I've already made up my mind.
Archie Long: So do you want chocolate or strawberry?
Yogurt boy: Neither. I want amarillo.
[Archie starts to get it for him]
Yogurt boy: Hey, that's GELLOTTI! I asked for YOGURT!
Archie Long: [peering at it] I don't see any difference.
Yogurt boy: GELLOTTI is made out of CREAM! YOGURT is made out of BACTERIA CULTURE! Where were you raised, in a cave?
Archie Long: All right, all right...
[gets the yogurt for him]
Archie Long: ... What, did I leave something out?
Yogurt boy: What about my toppings? You're supposed to ask me what kind of toppings I want.
Archie Long: Okay... What kind of toppings do you want?
Yogurt boy: Do you have peanut butter M&M's?
[Archie starts to put those on the yogurt]
Yogurt boy: Hey, what are you doing? I didn't say I WANTED m&m's! I just asked if you HAD them!
Archie Long: Yeah, we got 'em.
Yogurt boy: Well, I don't want 'em! Do you have Oreo pieces?
Archie Long: [holding those up] You want 'em?
Yogurt boy: That's why I asked. And walnuts... NOT peanuts, WALNUTS. And jellybeans... NOT m&m's; I HATE m&m's... JELLYBEANS. And almond slices instead of walnuts.
[the sweating Archie brings him the completed yogurt]
Yogurt boy: Forget it; I'll just have it plain.
Archie Long: [forcing himself not to faint, Archie scrapes everything off the yogurt] You sure you still want it?
Yogurt boy: Of course I do! What do you think I came in here for?
[Archie throws the yogurt in the boy's face]
Archie Long: [smiling] You got it, kid. That'll be a $1.60, please.
Derek: Our colors are cherry, peach, lime, olive, and avocado.
Archie Long: I don't want to eat the suit, I just want to wear it.
Archie Long: Whatever you say, Harry.
Man in gay bar: Shall we?
Archie Long: Shall we what?
Man in gay bar: Shall we dance?
[Archie looks around and sees males dancing with each other, and suddenly realizes he's in a gay bar; he quickly leaves while the man makes an "oh well" shrug. Archie exits the place and runs into Harry on the street]
Archie Long: [to Harry] You don't want to go in there!
Harry Doyle: There ain't nothing to steal on the Gold Coast Flier.
Archie Long: So? We'll steal the whole Goddamn train and ride it to Mexico.
Harry Doyle: What for?
Archie Long: To prove we can do it! It's the only thing that we'll have done to have worked out.
Harry Doyle: You can't do this!
Archie Long: Harry, I'm sick and tired of you telling me what I can do and what I can't do.
Harry Doyle: Archie, the Gold Coast Flier is no armored truck. It's a 70-ton train speeding at 100 miles per hour.
Archie Long: That didn't stop us the last time.
Harry Doyle: The last time we were 30 years younger and we got caught. We were put away for 30 years!
Archie Long: Now we're 30 years smarter. We woun't make the same mistakes.
Harry Doyle: That's right. Because we ain't gonna do it.
Bank Robber #1: [as Harry wrests his gun from him] I'll kill you, man! I was only kiddin', Grampa! Let me go!
Harry Doyle: Grampa, huh?
Archie Long: What are you gonna do with him, Harry?
Harry Doyle: I'm gonna blow his head off.
Archie Long: No, you don't want to do that.
Harry Doyle: He was disrespectful to me!
Archie Long: But you just got your suit cleaned. You'll get brains all over it.
Harry Doyle: This punk don't have any brains.
Archie Long: Yeah. But there'll be blood. All red and sticky, *bleah*. It'll be messy.
Harry Doyle: Get a mop!
Archie Long: Okay...
[Harry cocks the gun and the robber faints]
Archie Long: These guys are in the wrong business.
Harry Doyle: They don't make crooks like they used to.
Harry Doyle: You know, Arch, I never met so many stupid people in one day.
Archie Long: Ugly too.
Archie Long: [to Schultz] Screw you!
Archie Long: [to Schultz's parrot after it repeats "screw you"] Screw you, too!
Leon B. Little: Ah, lovers' quarrel! It breaks my heart. Turn around, worm food! Start walking! And don't try anything stupid or you'll die right here! And don't let the goggles fool ya, buster! I'm a sharpshooter!
[They enter an alleyway]
Leon B. Little: All right, turn here! Turn! What the hell is this, a parade?
Harry Doyle: Where are we going, friend?
Leon B. Little: We're going up this alley, 'friend'.
Archie Long: And then what?
Leon B. Little: And then I'm coming out... alone.
[Harry and Archie move a construction barrier and Leon falls screaming down a manhole]
Leon B. Little: Come back, you bastards! Let's finish it once and for all! You'll rot! It stinks down here!
Harry Doyle: Finish it? Finish what?
Archie Long: You sure you don't know that guy?
Harry Doyle: No.
Leon B. Little: Damn it, I'm up to my knees in guck!
Harry Doyle: Could we be losing our memories?
Archie Long: I dunno. Could be, Harry.
Leon B. Little: I'm gonna get pneumonia!
Archie Long: Who the hell are you, anyway?
Leon B. Little: I'm Peter Pan. I've come to take you to Never-Never Land, okay? But you won't be comin' back!
Harry Doyle: You mind telling us why you want to kill us?
Leon B. Little: I'm Leon B. Little.
Archie Long, Harry Doyle: So?
Leon B. Little: Leon B. Little! Don't the name mean nothin' to ya?
Archie Long, Harry Doyle: No.
Leon B. Little: Do you at least know Vinnie Mendelman?
Archie Long, Harry Doyle: Yeah.
Leon B. Little: [to a reporter] Thank God they know somebody!
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