Archie Gates Quotes in Three Kings (1999)


Archie Gates Quotes:

  • Archie Gates: What's the most important thing in life?

    Troy Barlow: Respect.

    Archie Gates: Too dependent on other people.

    Conrad Vig: What, love?

    Archie Gates: A little Disneyland, isn't it?

    Chief Elgin: God's will.

    Archie Gates: Close.

    Troy Barlow: What is it then?

    Archie Gates: Necessity.

    Troy Barlow: As in?

    Archie Gates: As in people do what is most necessary to them at any given moment.

  • Archie Gates: You're scared, right?

    Conrad Vig: Maybe.

    Archie Gates: The way it works is, you do the thing you're scared shitless of, and you get the courage AFTER you do it, not before you do it.

    Conrad Vig: That's a dumbass way to work. It should be the other way around.

    Archie Gates: I know. That's the way it works.

  • Archie Gates: Sit down. What do you see here?

    Chief Elgin: Bunkers, sir.

    Archie Gates: What's in them?

    Troy Barlow: Stuff they stole from Kuwait.

    Archie Gates: Bullshit. I'm talking about millions in Kuwaiti bullion.

    Conrad Vig: You mean them little cubes you put in hot water to make soup?

    Archie Gates: No, not the little cubes you put in hot water to make soup.

  • Archie Gates: Bush told the people to rise up against Saddam. They thought they'd have our support. They don't. Now they're getting slaughtered.

  • Archie Gates: No unnecessary shots, Conrad, 'cause we know what they do.

    Conrad Vig: Make infected pockets full of bile, sir.

    Archie Gates: That's right, Conrad, that's what they do.

  • Adriana Cruz: Are you ready to work with me now?

    Archie Gates: Yeah, I'm ready to work with you.

    Adriana Cruz: Good, 'cause I've got an amazing lead.

    Archie Gates: It was in the guy's ass.

    Camp soldier: That's not the real story.

    Adriana Cruz: What's the real story?

    Camp soldier: It was in the guy's dick, they had to pull it out with a pair of tweezers.

    Adriana Cruz: A ten-page atlas of Saddam's bunkers?

    Camp soldier: Yeah, only real small, like those books you get in a box of Cracker Jacks.

  • Amir Abdullah: You know what I think? You're stealing gold, that's what I think. We're fighting Saddam and dying, and you're stealing gold.

    Archie Gates: You're wrong.

    Amir Abdullah: They have half a million men in the desert and they send four guys to pick up all this bullion? I don't think so.

  • Archie Gates: You know you're on the path to truth when you smell shit, isn't that what they say?

  • Archie Gates: Any questions?

    Conrad Vig: Yeah, is it true to be special forces, you gotta cut off an enemy's ear?

    Archie Gates: [to Troy Barlow] Are you able to control him?

    Troy Barlow: Yes, sir. He'll be fine, I promise.

  • Archie Gates: That's what makes S.F. so badass; we got the best flashlights.

  • [Maj. Gates stops the car after hearing an explosion]

    Archie Gates: What was that?

    Conrad Vig: I rigged the football with C-4, sir.

    Archie Gates: Why would you do that?

  • Archie Gates: [about Kuwaiti gold] My guess is he's divided these bricks into several different stashes. Just one of these stashes will be easy to take from Saddam's deserting army, and that will be enough to get us out of our day jobs. Unless, of course, you reservists are in love with your day jobs.

    [cut to a shot of Troy getting ink all over himself at his office; cut to a shot of Chief throwing luggage onto a plane; cut to a shot of Conrad shooting stuffed animals with a shotgun]

    Conrad Vig: I don't really have a day job, sir.

  • [Maj. Gates knows a map has been found in one of an Iraqi soldier's orifices, but isn't sure which]

    Archie Gates: Good afternoon. Would this be the proctology tent?

    Chief Elgin: No, sir.

    Archie Gates: Maybe it's the urology tent. Or the neurology tent. Or the ear, nose, and throat tent.

    Troy Barlow: Captain's at a staff meeting, sir.

    Archie Gates: Captain a proctologist?

    Conrad Vig: What's a proctologist, sir?

  • Archie Gates: [to Col. Horn, about the Gulf War] Just tell me what we did here!

  • Archie Gates: Load the people into the Humvee!

    Troy Barlow: There's no room!

    Archie Gates: Make room!

    Troy Barlow: Whatever happened to necessity?

    Archie Gates: It just changed!

  • Archie Gates: You know anything about gunshot wounds?

    Conrad Vig: I don't know.

    Archie Gates: Specifically, the worst thing about a gunshot wound, provided you survive the bullet, is something called sepsis.

    Chief Elgin: Infection of the blood...

    Archie Gates: That's right. Say a bullet tears into your gut. It creates a cavity in the dead tissue. That cavity fills up with bile, and bacteria, and you're fucked.

  • Adriana Cruz: I don't want him walking away from me, going to other reporters, and giving away my stories.

    Archie Gates: What stories? You don't have any stories.

    Adriana Cruz: You don't fuckin' tell people that.

  • Deserter Leader: George Bush gets rid Saddam's now!

    Archie Gates: Not exactly, no.

    Deserter Leader: Congratulation!

    [hugs him]

    Deserter Leader: Congratulation!

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