Aram Finklestein Quotes in The Rebound (2009)

Sadie - age 9: [not swayed from the topic] So, you like Mom. Are you two gonna date now?

Aram Finklestein: I don't know.

Sadie - age 9: You don't really know anything, do ya? I mean, she's kinda your girlfriend.

Frank Jr. - age 7: Are you gonna be our new dad?

Sadie - age 9: And, if so, who'll be our nanny?

Frank Jr. - age 7: Yeah, and what'll we call you?

Aram Finklestein: Jesus, I'm not being nominated to Supreme Court here, guys. I just had sex with your mother.

Aram Finklestein: [noticing a distressed mother in the next bowling lane glaring at him while grasping her child protectively] And when I say sex... I mean that I gave her... a nice massage.

Frank Jr. - age 7: [brightly] With sperm.

Lateefah: Aram, I know you took some women's studies courses in college, but other than that, do you have any kind of experience that you think might've prepared you for this job?

Aram Finklestein: Uhh... I used to buy tampons for my mother.

Lateefah: YOU... will fit in perfectly.

Sadie - age 9: Aram! Aram!

Frank Jr. - age 7: Mom is dead!

Aram Finklestein: What?

Frank Jr. - age 7: Come on!

Aram Finklestein: She's not dead.

Sadie - age 9: Could be post-mortem twitch.

Sandy: Someone like you shouldn't be with someone like me - an old girlfriend with two kids.

Aram Finklestein: You're an ageist.

Roberta Finklestein: Oh, such a smart girl.

Aram Finklestein: But she never graduated college, and you hated her.

Roberta Finklestein: But the French. She spoke it so beautifully.

Aram Finklestein: She was from there.

Roberta Finklestein: So, what does his future hold, Rabbi?

Aram Finklestein: Mom, he's not a palm reader.

Aram Finklestein: I thought I'd met my soul mate.

Mitch: You met a really hot French girl who needed a green card.

Aram Finklestein: She was just so...

Mitch: Hot!

Aram Finklestein: It wasn't that.

Mitch: Sexy.

Aram Finklestein: It was something else. She needed me.

Mitch: Yes, to get a green card.

Sadie - age 9: [while in a bowling alley] So does that mean you and Mom are gonna have a baby?

Aram Finklestein: Nooo.

Frank Jr. - age 7: I don't get it. You said that spurn makes a baby.

Aram Finklestein: "Sperm," and it does. You know, can we stop talking about this please, okay? I like your mother, and I think she likes me, and that's all that's important.

Sadie - age 9: And you also work for her.

Sadie - age 9: Sing me a song or I'll throw up on you.

Aram Finklestein: When you put it that way...

Aram Finklestein: You said it yourself. You don't wanna just coast - you know, just coast along - but, w... but this isn't coasting. This is... this-s-s-s is ROLLER coasting.

Aram Finklestein: What do you think about kids?

Mitch: I think about makin' 'em all the time.

Lateefah: Aram, I know you took some women's studies course in college. But other than that, do you have any kind of experience that you think might have prepared you for this job?

Aram Finklestein: Uh... I used to by tampons for my mother.

Lateefah: You will fit in perfectly.

[shakes hands]

Lateefah: Yes.