April Burns Quotes in Pieces of April (2003)


April Burns Quotes:

  • April Burns: Once, there was this day... this one day when... everyone realized they needed each other.

  • April Burns: I'm the first pancake.

    Evette: What do you mean?

    Eugene: She's the one you're supposed to throw out.

  • April Burns: Please give me my stupid fucking turkey!

  • April Burns: Are you Wayne...? Wayne with the new stove...?

  • April Burns: [discussing old-fashioned turkey shaped salt and pepper shakers that Bobby bought] We had these when I was a kid.


    April Burns: The one time Joy let me hold them she said, "Be careful, they're worth more than you are."

    Bobby: Well, that's terrible.

    April Burns: Next year they were gone.

    Bobby: So, what happened?

    April Burns: A hammer I was holding fell on them.

  • Eugene: You made boxed stuffing?

    April Burns: Yeah. What's wrong with boxed stuffing?

    Evette: Nothing! I'm sure it's a fine brand.

  • April Burns: Well, the cranberries were easy. I just had to open the can.

    Eugene: [needing support from his wife] Evette?

    April Burns: [sensing Eugene's outrage] What? Oh, come on. Everyone likes it from the can.

    Eugene: No one likes it from the can.

  • Tish: There's something I need you to know.

    April Burns: Okay.

    Tish: I never eat anything that has a face.

    April Burns: Oh, don't worry, you won't be eating it, I'll just be using your oven.

    Tish: Yes, but for me, to know that there was once a living, breathing soul...

    April Burns: I'm a vegetarian, I understand.

    Tish: Yes, but I'm a vegan. And even the smell of flesh cooking... I don't think I can help you.

  • Wayne: Do you know that good feeling that often comes from being helpful?

    April Burns: Yes...

    Wayne: I'm not having that feeling here.

Browse more character quotes from Pieces of April (2003)