Ape Quotes in George of the Jungle (1997)
Ape: "George's secrets". There's the shortest book ever written.
Ursula's mother: Arthur, I wish you would do something about all these monkeys. I feel like Jane Goodall.
Ape: Madam, I knew Jane Goodall and you are no Jane Goodall.
Max: Let's take care of him.
[Max and Thor pick George up and ram head into cage]
Ape: Why didn't you come sooner?
George: Why Ape have little stars around head?
[Max and Thor pull George out, tickles him, and rams head back in]
Ape: George, remember everything I told you about Queensbury rules and fighting fair?
Ape: Well, now's a good time to forget it.
Ape: George, what on earth are you doing?
[George is wearing flower lei]
George: George just feel like looking a little special today. That all
Ape: [after George has swung into a tree, knocking himself out] Ladies and Gentlemen; I give you the 'King of the Jungle'.
[Ursula screams at the sight of Ape]
George: No, no! It's all right! Ape friend! Ape make your breakfast!
Ursula Stanhope: [panicky] What does it want? What does it want?
Ape: "It" wants "its" Physician's Desk Reference, if you don't mind. Unless you'd rather die of dengue fever, of course.
Ursula Stanhope: [laughing hysterically] That is very funny!
Ape: [sarcastic] Ha, ha, ha...
Ursula Stanhope: I thought I heard the monkey talk!
[as Thor takes aim at Shep, Ape jumps to the ground]
Ape: Run, Shep! Run for your life!
Max: Did that monkey just speak?
Thor: That monkey just spoke!
Ape: I'm hungry!
Thor: Oh, shut up. You've been yakkin' for two days straight, and I'm gettin' mad enough to...
Ape: You know, you really should work on your anger. Have you tried Brankowski's "Cage the Rage" technique?
Max: Don't let him get to you, Thor. He's just an ape.
Ape: That's a fine way to talk to your meal ticket. You keep that up, it's liable to affect my stage performance.
Max: Give him a banana, Thor. It won't be long now.
Thor: That's what you said yesterday! This trail is taking us to the middle of nowhere!
Max: The sign at the trail head said "Short cut to Ape River." Now, why would it say "short cut" if it wasn't a...
Max: [pause] Wait a minute. Maybe it's a fake, a decoy trail.
Ape: Very good, Max. Actually, the trail is a fake. It circles Ape Mountain six times before heading right back to the tree house.
Thor: [groaning in frustration] Ohh! Oh, I knew we was lost.
Max: Don't listen to him, Thor. He's just tryin' to trick us, lead us off the short cut so we take twice as long on the regular trail.
Thor: We're already taking twice as long!
Max: Are you gonna let a monkey make a monkey out of ya?
Max: Let's go. If he tells us the short cut leads to the tree house, then that's exactly where it doesn't lead.
[reaching the end of a long trail]
Thor: Max, look! We're back at the tree house!
Ape: Well, I tried, but you fellas are just too smart for me.
Max: Oh, no!
Narrator: "Oh, no" was right! Because even at that moment...
Thor: [looking up] Hey! Why don't you say something constructive for a change, like what we should do now?
Narrator: Because I don't like you.
Thor: Well, I hate you, you snotty son of a...
Narrator: I'll pretend I didn't hear that.
[there is a thunderous bang, and both Thor and Max stagger, as though hit]
Narrator: Having some fun now, huh?
Ape: [sings] I aced it all and I stood tall, and did it my way.
Ape: It's love. I'm in it.
Kit Carson: Who?
Kit Carson: Oh! Well, what are you gonna do about it?
Ape: Well, the first thing I'm gonna do is swear off lyin'.
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