Angel Quotes in X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)

Angel: [against Nightcrawler] Fight! Or they'll kill us both!

Angel: I gotta ask you a question. Me and Sofi did a lot of making up last night. It seems like a got a little rust on my tools down here

[opens his bathrobe]

Bobby: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Ask the cockologist in the shower.

Jack: How the hell would I know?

Bobby: You're the expert.

Jack: [looks for a second] Rug burn.

Jack: Jack drinks Jack! Jack drink Jack!

[considering his name is Jack and he's Drinking Jack Daniels]

Jeremiah: Jackie is drunk!

Bobby: Jack likes ass crack and ballsack.

Jack: Jack doesn't like ass crack and ballsack! Jack likes boobs! Jack's got fans. Jack's got lots of fans.

Angel: Man, shut the hell up.

Bobby: I don't know how you did it for so many years, man. It must've driven you crazy, Angel. On a ship for, what, six months at a time with nothing but dudes

Angel: It wasn't a ship. And the marine's went co-ed, they got girls now.

Bobby: Yeah, I bet'cha those girls look like dudes too, though.

Angel: Not after six months they don't.

Bobby: I ain't playing no more. I'm gonna go in there and bust that melon...

Jack: Hey! His family's in there!

Angel: Bobby, you're gonna have to calm down.

Bobby: Oh, I'm calm. He think's I'm an idiot! He thinks I don't know what the fuck is going on!

Jack: Haven't seen you in forever!

Angel: Yeah, I know.

Jack: Hey, did you get your teeth whitened?

Angel: Man, shut up Jackie-poo

Angel: Cops are always welcome at the Mercer's. It makes us feel safe and cozy. Just the way we like it.

Sofi: Angel, can I ask you a question? What the hell is this?

[holds up some condoms]

Angel: Those are breathmints, baby!

Sofi: You know I'm allergic to latex! Who did you buy them for?

Angel: Put the coo coo back in the clock, baby, I bought them in Vegas way before I even knew I was coming here!

[about Jack]

Angel: I miss him too. We won't be able to bring him back, but we're going to send him some company.

Angel: You said something, didn't you, Jerry?

Jeremiah: I did not say nothing, man.

Angel: Why you always - ?

Bobby: I did.

Jeremiah: What you say?

Bobby: I told him I was banging his wife. Come on, man!

Angel: I did too.

Jeremiah: Me too.

Bobby: [after Jack is shot] Jack! Jack, look at me! Jack, you all right? Hold on. We need an ambulance!

Angel: Somebody help! Call 911!

Bobby: Jack. Jack. Jack! Jack, please. Come on, man.

Sofi: I'm calling, I'm calling!

Bobby: Come on, Jack, you gotta breathe!

Sofi: [on the phone] We need an ambulance right now!

Bobby: Don't you die on me you little fairy. Come on, Jack. Please! You gotta fucking breathe! Come on!

Jack: [grunts and gasps, gives one last breath, and dies]

Bobby: [crying] Jack! Jack. Jack, come on, Jack, please! Please...

Angel: [whispers] Jack.

Detective Fowler: It's not looking good for you, homeboy.

Angel: We'll see if they're still your boys after they find out you killed your partner Green, homeboy.

Detective Fowler: That's your angle, huh? You're gonna walk out there and tell them I killed Green? That's your story?

Angel: It has the advantage of being true.

Detective Fowler: So what? I killed my partner. I could kill the whole damn police department if you were the only witness. They'd probably just promote me to chief. You're one of the Mercer brothers. No cop in the world is going to believe your word over mine.

Angel: You know what, you're probably right. Other than the ones I got outside right now in a van, listening to every bit of our conversation.

Angel: It's a little heavy in here, I'm just gonna go outside and get a little air.

Bobby: You're full of shit, man. You can smell that ass from down the street, huh?

Angel: What are you talking about?

Bobby: What do you mean, what? You know exactly what we talking about with La Vida Loca.

Angel: Ain't nobody going to go get no La Vida Loca nothing!

Jeremiah: She's got a boyfriend.

Bobby: She's got a boyfriend, she's got hard dick in her right now. She screaming somebody else's name and the last thing she's doing is thinking about is your black ass.

Angel: It's kinda hot in there, I'm just gonna go outside and get some air.

Bobby: [laughing] You can smell that ass from down the street, huh?

Angel: What are you talking about?

Bobby: What do you mean "what" man, you know "what", man.

Jeremiah: She's got a boyfriend.

Bobby: She's got a boyfriend, she's got hard dick in her right now and she's screaming someone else's name and the last thing she's thinking about is your black ass.

[All Laugh]

Angel: Why are you guys comin' at me with this. I told you I'm not going to go see that girl, and I'm NOT!

Jeremiah: What's the plan, Bobby?

Bobby: We're wingin' it, Jerry.

Jeremiah: We're always wingin' it.

Jack: We're gonna get killed.

Angel: What'cha mean WE, white boy?

Angel: [after interrogation officer punches Angel] I did it, okay! Is that what you want to hear? I did it!

Interrogation Officer: You did it, I wanna hear you say it! What did you do!

Angel: I was bumpin' uglies with your wife!

[Interrogation officer hits him again]

Bobby: She's so La Vida Loca.

Angel: Shut up Bobby, don't start with that! That's why you don't get a girlfriend.

Bobby: I get a girlfriend every fucking week. You know what I want a girlfriend like you.

Sofi: Callate!

Angel: Please don't go there. Can y'all please not go there.

Sofi: [in a whiny voice] Angel, you said this time was going to be different.

Bobby: Ai mami, you're breaking mi corazon, chica. She's getting real comfortable here. What are you doing? I thought you were a macho man, a tough guy. You know, it's a crying shame that Little Jack is the only one down to ride.

Angel: Jerry ain't been strait up with us about that redevelopment project. I found out his dream's dead. Jerry got involved with some bad people. The city got on him about fraud and what not, cut his loans off like a month ago. Technically, Jerry's really broke.

Bobby: You think this had something to do with what happened to Ma?

Angel: No, I'm saying it's something we should look into.

Angel: She's the only woman that ever gave a damn. The least we can do is go bang on a few doors and see what happens. We owe her that much.

Jeremiah: So you're gonna shoot up the whole town cause y'all mad?

Angel: Why not?

Jeremiah: C'mon, man, the people who did this are probably from the same shitty-ass streets we're from. Mom would've been the first to forgive them, and y'all know that.

Bobby: Why don't you just tell me what you know, Angel?

Angel: I know you need to stay your ass on that porcelain. This is gonna require a little finesse. And given your prior reputation as a hothead, you'll be the first one to fuck it up.

Bobby: I wrote the fucking book on finesse! You just wait for me to wipe my ass, Angel. I'm coming with you. Angel!... Get me some fucking toilet paper, Jack!

Bobby: If I find out you had something to do with what happened to Ma, I swear to God, Jerry, I'm gonna kill you here and now!

Sofi: No, Bobby, no!

Bobby: Now Angel's gonna ask you some questions, and brother, I shit you not, the time for lying is over!

Angel: We know you lied about your business! And we know you got mixed up with some gangsters!

Jeremiah: You all think I had something to do with mom getting killed?

Angel: You got a check for four hundred thousand that you just so happened to forget to mention, for mom's life insurance!

Jeremiah: She took out the policy for the girls, man, I ain't had nothing to do with that! Come on!

Sofi: You made the payments!

Bobby: Good timing, Jerry, just when it seems like all is lost for you, Ma gets shot by some gangsters and now you hit the fucking lottery?

Jeremiah: So you're all tripping because I made insurance payments? I paid all her bills! And where the fuck were y'all? How many years did I have to take care of her my God-damned self? And you're going to tell me I killed her?

Angel: [entering the casino, looking for the killers] Goatee. Goatee. Look for the one with the goatee.

Angel: [about Damien] Think he dead?

Bobby: No, he ain't dead. He's just fucked up. Let's go talk to him now.

Bobby: You got a gun?

Angel: I flew in.

Bobby: [hands him a gun] Be careful with my baby.

Angel: Ooh...

Bobby: You like that?

Angel: You got ammo?

Bobby: Yeah, it's loaded, little brother. Be careful.

[to Jack]

Bobby: Here, you carry the gas can.

Jack: We're gonna do that gas thing?

Bobby: [mocking him] Yeah, we're gonna do the gas thing. The only thing that scares people more than getting burnt to death is getting eaten alive. Let's go.

Bobby: [starts to close the trunk]

Jack: Wait, what do I get?

Bobby: you coming with us? oh

[Bobby hands him a crowbar]

Bobby: Here you go, sweetheart, poke 'em with that.

Jack: [insulted] Thanks.

Angel: Green, how do you go from petty thug to contract killer? And if they were professional shooters like you say, they'd have never told us who they were working with anyway.

Sofi: Do I recall something about having dinner together? Because I seem to remember spending *two hours* in the kitchen...

Angel: Sofi, baby...

Sofi: Angel! You promised that this time, things would be different.

Bobby: Ay, mami. You're breaking mi corazon.

Angel: Heh Heh. They look like nipples!

Angel: Almost got hung once myself. Didn't care for it much.

Angel: [after everyone says Maverick paid them to get knocked down] You boys should have seen me first. I'd have let you fall down for free!

[Picks up pan and starts hitting everyone]

Angel: Would you give guns to someone to kill your father or your mother or your brother?

Pike Bishop: Ten thousand cuts an awful lot of family ties.

Angel: My people have no guns. But with guns, my people could fight! If I could take guns... I would go with you.

Dutch Engstrom: Hey, uh, how many cases of rifles did Zamora say was in that shipment?

Pike Bishop: Sixteen.

Dutch Engstrom: Well, give him one.

Pike Bishop: All right. One case... and one case of ammo; but you give up your share of the gold.

Angel: I will.

Pike Bishop: We know you will.

Sykes: I'm sure glad we got that settled.

Pike Bishop: With the way the Generalissimo's cleaned out this part of the country, he ought to have a lot

[of silver]

Pike Bishop: to spare.

Dutch Engstrom: Eh, "Generalissimo", hell! He's just another bandit grabbin' all he can for himself.

Pike Bishop: [amused] Like some others I could mention?

[laughs]

Dutch Engstrom: [serious] Not so's you'd know it, Mr. Bishop. We ain't nothin' like him! We don't HANG nobody! I hope, someday, these people here kick him, and the rest of that scum like him, right into their graves.

Angel: We will. If it takes forever.

Lyle Gorch: [the Bunch is riding into Angel's village] Hey, Angel! Why don't you tell your folks to feed them dogs?

Angel: Any insult to my family while we are here and I will kill you!

Lyle Gorch: Hey, Angel; do you have a sister?

Angel: [angrily] Si!

Lyle Gorch: [very politely] I'd be pleased to make her acquaintance. And that of your mama too!

Tector Gorch: [laughing] And the same goes for your grandma, too Sonny!

Angel: [Gazing across the Rio Grande] Mexico lindo.

Lyle Gorch: I don't see nothin' so lindo about it.

Angel: What's a girl gotta do to get rescued around here?

Angel: You touch me and you're dead!

Kansa: Compelling arguement. You must be a lawyer.

Kisscut: She's a whore.

Kansa: An easy mistake. I apologize.

Kansa: What breed was your mother?

Angel: She was Scottish.

Kansa: Those Celts have luster. And your father, was he... pale skinned?

Angel: Pale? He was invisible.

Deputy: What piece of you can I buy for a dollar?

Angel: My pity.

Deputy: I was being kind.

Angel: I like my men... heartless.

Marshall Gaza: I was once a sinner...

Angel: Damn right, you were! Cherry Gaza. You all virgin eater!

Marshall Gaza: You whore of Babylon! You painted cat! You womb of vipers! The smell of Jezebel has no power over me now!

Angel: What kind of man are you?

Fabulos: I'm the heartless kind.

[Explaining why no one mentions the names of dead pilots]

Angel: Let me give you a reality check. In all likelihood you're going to die out here. We're all going to die out here, but none of us need to be reminded of that fact. So you die, you never existed. Understand?

[Blair is sitting in the cockpit of a parked Rapier fighter on the flight deck]

Angel: Two Dralthis on your tail. One above, one below. You got five, maybe ten seconds. Clock's ticking, what do you do?

Blair: Simple. I go vertical and inverted, do a 180 at full throttle, apply brakes and drop in behind them.

Angel: Bang, you're dead. Not fast enough. Dralthis are too quick, particularly in a climb. You've just taken a missle up your tailpipe. OK, let's reverse the situation, you're locked on a Dralthi, it goes evasive, enters an asteroid belt.

Blair: If I'm locked on, there's no such thing as evasive action.

Angel: And you're dead again. You see, it's an ambush, five or six fighters hide behind rocks the size of your swollen head and pants. A Kilrathi gangbang. What's the matter, did I bruise your ego?

Blair: No, I'm not used to getting combat tips from a grease monkey, that's all.

Angel: Lieutenant Commander Deveraux, your wing commander. You have a name?

Blair: Uh, Lieutenant Blair, ma'am.

Angel: Well Lieutenant Blair, if you want to play at being a fighter pilot I suggest you find a virtual fun zone. Meanwhile, step down from the Rapier.

[about a show-off fighter maneuver Rosie's just done while landing]

Angel: I hope it felt very good.

Rosie Forbes: Better than sex.

Angel: Bullshit.

Rosie Forbes: Better than sex with myself.

Angel: How do I know I can trust you?

Jack Goldwater: Hey, I work for the IRS. Who doesn't trust the IRS?

Nurse Gretchen: Hi, I'm Nurse Gretchen. I'd love to give you a sponge bath.

Scheherazade: I'm Scheherazade. Let me tell you of the thousand and second night.

Pixie: I'm Pixie. Let me sprinkle my magic all over you.

Sinead: I'm Sinead, and I've broken all the rules.

Eden: I'm Eden... and I'd love to show you my garden.

Angel: I'm Angel. Like to try a few falls with me?

Jack Goldwater: Hi, I'm Jack. I'm from the government... and I'm here to help you.

Angel: The creature denies happiness!

Mok: Enough about them, let's talk about you. What did you think of my last album?

Angel: I loved it!

Omar: I bought it too; my gerbil uses it for a room divider.

Mok: Open your eyes! Accept my offer.

Angel: No, Mok. I couldn't leave them for anything.

Mok: [booming] I didn't offer you ANYTHING. I offer you EVERYTHING!

Angel: No!

Mok: [vanishes] Too bad. But we all have our illusions, far be it for me to take away yours.

Angel: [seductively] Let's go away together.

Mok: Fiji? Disneyland?... Fantasy Island?

Angel: I tested him with a sign, and he fell down confused.

Angel: I didn't mean for him to drag his bones after me...

James: Michael, I have to talk to you!

Michael Alig: Not now, James! We have to go before the police get here. Now get in! You, what's your name?

Angel: Um, I'm Angel.

Michael Alig: Well, where's your wings?

James: Michael.

Angel: What?

Michael Alig: Listen, could you help us get this door closed? I think you have to do it from the outside.

Angel: If I do that then I won't be able to come.

Michael Alig: If you do this now you'll be one of us and next time I'll make you VIP. Very, very important person. So come on now. Be an Angel.

James: Michael, you're out of your mind.

Michael Alig: Oh please, party in the truck!

Angel: Michael! Hey, I got my wings.

Michael Alig: Then fly away home. The police are coming!

Michael Alig: Oh Angel! We did all your drugs and we need some more.

Angel: You did what?

Michael Alig: We did all your drugs and we need some more. Now!

Angel: You're gonna have to pay for all this.

Michael Alig: [scoffs] How about paying me some rent?

Angel: For what? For all the fucking drugs you've done for free? Forget it!

Michael Alig: Oh. I get it. You're a nobody who I turned into a somebody. Because of me people know who you are. Because of me you get to go on television but that isn't good enough for you because you think you're above it. You and your tired old angel wings.

Angel: Don't start with me, Michael.

Michael Alig: You're just some lame ass, Johnny come lightly, fairy faggot copy cat! You don't know your Skrink from your Skrod you stupid Logger Blogger! But still, no hard feelings?

Preston: This is officially the worst night of my entire life. Thank you very much.

Angel: Try having forty drunk men grabbing your ass, one groom to be throwing up all over you and then have your car break down at 2am and then you can talk to me about having a bad night, OK?

[Jeffrey is being held down by the other girls when Angel is the first to feel the heat of the drugs]

Angel: Whoa.

Jeffrey Franken: Oh, God. She's gonna blow. She's gonna blow! Duck and cover!

Angel: Isn't it awfully hot in here?

[Angel explodes, Zorro's other girls scream out]

Angel: Hey Satan! Lift up your tail and show us where you keep the friars in hell!

Angel: What's your name anyway?

Randy: Who me?

Angel: Yeah you. I know my name.

Randy: Yeah? What is it?

Angel: Angel, but don't let the name fool you.

Randy: Who's fooling who?

Angel: You're drunk.

Randy: You're cute.

Angel: Still haven't told me your name yet.

Randy: Oh yeah?

Angel: Yeah.

Randy: It's Randy. Don't let the name fool you.

Dana: I knew this one girl and I swear, she did it on a rollercoaster. Hey Ferris, where's the weirdest place you ever did it?

Ferris: None of your business.

Cinder: Why not?

[to the girls]

Cinder: She probably doesn't know anything.

Ferris: I know enough.

Cinder: Ever been to fourth base?

Ferris: I'm fifteen. No one goes to fourth base...

Cinder: I hit a home run at fourteen. Well I guess some of us are women, and some of us are little girls.

[to Angel]

Cinder: Which are you?

Angel: I think guys are a pain in the ass.

Cinder: Two little virgins. How quaint. No wonder they're always fighting. It's all that unreleased energy. Probably lezzies.

Ferris: Maybe she is, but I'm straight.

Angel: I have to talk to you.

Ms. Bright: Uh huh, about what?

Angel: I think you better straighten your act out. What's this crap about sex being nothing?

Ms. Bright: I don't know. I don't understand. What do you mean?

Angel: You've been hanging around creeps.

Ms. Bright: Angel! That's not a very nice thing to say to your mom.

Angel: I'm gonna keep my eye on you.

Randy: I want to talk to you!

Angel: [sarcastically] Long time, no see. How's Cinder?

Randy: How much did you make? I know all about it. Why didn't you tell me it was a game? I would've went along with it. I mean, an easy lay is an easy lay, right?

Angel: I lost. I didn't tell them, get it?

Randy: You mean, you let yourself lose?

Angel: Yeah, I'm a loser.

Angel: Do you feel different?

Ferris: No.

Angel: Was it what you thought it would be?

Ferris: No big deal.

Angel: But now you're a woman.

Ferris: My whole affair was a lie.

Angel: Come on.

Ferris: He didn't even touch me.

Angel: You know something?

[hesitates]

Angel: Don't tell anyone.

[Ferris shakes her head]

Angel: Me and Randy...

Ferris: Gosh! Gosh!

Angel: Is that all you can say is "gosh"? I mean for somebody with a large vocabulary, supposedly.

Ferris: We've really been idiots, you know.

Angel: So what do we do now? I don't... I mean, I don't know anything.

Randy: I don't know. I think I love you.

Angel: You don't have to, you know.

Randy: I know.

Angel: God I feel so lonesome.

Dana: [prepping Angel on losing her virginity] Now remember, don't be scared! That's the most important thing. And uh, don't... don't talk about your past. That turns men off.

Angel: I don't have a past, idiot.

Angel: This seat's taken.

Ferris: By who?

Angel: My guardian angel.

Ferris: Well, she'll have to sit on my lap.

Angel: She's a he.

Ferris: Then I'll have to sit on his lap.

Cinder: What about you, smut-mouth?

Angel: What about me, shit-head?

Cinder: Are you into girls?

Angel: [lunges towards Cinder]

Cinder: [backing away] She tried to grab my tit!

Angel: You're supposed to get turned on, stupid, not pass out.

Angel: You live around here?

Randy: Who me?

Angel: Yeah you. I know where I live.

Randy: I'm from Camp Tomahawk across the lake.

Angel: [looks at the car Randy came in] So where'd you get the car?

Randy: The car? I borrowed it.

Angel: What about the girl?

Randy: She came with the car.

Dana: [watching boys skinny dip] Oh, that unmatched form and feature of blown youth blasted with ecstasy! Oh, woe is me to have seen what I have seen, to see what I see!

Angel: Now what are you mouthing off about?

Dana: Those are Ophelia's lines to Hamlet. Don't you know anything?

Angel: I know one thing. Looking at a bunch of creeps skinny dipping may turn you all on... but I think it's crap.

[last lines]

Angel: This is my friend Ferris Whitney... my best friend.

Angel: God, it was so personal! Like you could see right through me.

Randy: I don't get you man! One minute you're... shit man, make your mind up! I mean, you came on to me. If you wanted to stop, you should've just said so. No big deal. There's plenty of women around here.

Angel: I'm not a woman... Randy. Making love is... it's... it's... it's different than what I thought it was... gonna be... like.

Randy: You mean, you never did it before? Christ, why didn't you tell me?

Angel: I thought it would turn you off. Virgins are weird, right?

Angel: You just lost a hundred bucks sucker.

Angel: When did you lose your virginity? I just want to know.

Ms. Bright: Why? Now why do you want to know that? Curiosity? I know I must have been at least nineteen.

Angel: Nineteen?

Ms. Bright: It was nothing. Still is nothing.

[after nurse Angel lets Buddy see her huge breasts while she gives him a shower]

Bubby: They be beautiful... like mom.

Angel: You don't think they're too big?

Bubby: They make perfection.

Angel: We're in business.

Prince George: Maybe we're in business.

Angel: There's no way out of eternity. You're stuck with it.

Angel: I was 15 before I realized I was dead.

Angel: You clammy slag! You sat on the KY with your fat arse!

Angel: What's that?

Wanda: Lidocaine. Stubble always hurts when I'm getting my pussy eaten. So, I spray it on just before a scene.

Angel: Now, that's using your noodle.

Wanda: Thanks. I'm sure you have some of your own tricks of the trade.

Angel: Yeah, I've got a great one. So, if I'm doing this video where I have to lick a guy's asshole, I hit myself in the head with a piece of wood five times really hard right here.

Wanda: What does that do?

Angel: It disables the olfactory bulb in my limbic system. I can't smell or taste anything for 12 hours straight. So, I ask the director to make sure all my ass-licking scenes are in the same day.

Wanda: Cool.

Wanda: I'm sure you have your own tricks of the trade?

Angel: Yeh; I've got one; so if I'm doing this video where I have to lick a guy's asshole, I hit myself in the head with some wood, really hard, five times, right there.

Wanda: What does that do?

Angel: It disables the olfactory bulb in my limbic system for 12 straight hours: I can't smell anything! So I ask the director to make sure all my ass licking scenes are in one day.

Wanda: Cool.

Angel: You're the worst lover in town. It's a good thing I know someone in the country.

Angel: You read the profit and loss statements like a vulture, and you play the stock market like a fox, but you store your nuts away like a squirrel.

Angel: Hello. We haven't properly met. I'm Angel.

Jimmy: Yeah. Yeah, you are.

Angel: Can I have my knockers back, please?

[Tony is playing basketball with a group of friends]

Manny: ¡Tony! ¡Montana! ¡Tony Montana! Ven acá, man. Come here.

Tony Montana: ¿Qué te pasa?

[What's wrong with you?]

Manny: Come here, man. I gotta talk to you. Come on, man. It's important.

Tony Montana: So close, man.

Manny: Come on. Come on, man. I gotta talk to you.

Angel: [to Tony] Where are you going, man?

Manny: [to Angel] Leave him alone, okay?

Tony Montana: [to Angel] I got better things to do.

Angel: [to Tony] You're chicken, man. You almost made it.

[Tony and Manny walk away]

Manny: Are you ready for some good news?

Tony Montana: Sure. What you got, man?

Manny: We can be outta this place in 30 days. Not only that, but we got a green card and a job in Miami. Now are we made or are we made, man?

Tony Montana: What do we gotta do? Go to Cuba and hit the beard or what?

Manny: No, man, somebody else.

Tony Montana: You're kidding?

Manny: No.

Tony Montana: You're not kidding?

[Manny smiles]

Manny: Guy named Rebenga, man. Emilio Rebenga.

Tony Montana: Rebenga? Coño, man. I know that name.

Manny: Yeah?

Tony Montana: He's political.

Manny: Yeah. Well, he's coming in here today, man. Castro just sprung him. This guy, man, was one of the top dogs for Fidel in the early days. But Castro felt like he couldn't trust him anymore and threw him in jail. But while he was on top, he tortured a few guys to death. And one of the guy's brother is a rich guy in Miami now, and he wants the favor repaid. That's where we come in.

Angel: [with Yuri and their parents standing next to them] My name is Angel.

Vitaly Orlov: [while carrying her over to the Christmas tree display] Her name really is Angel! Let's put her on the Christmas tree!

Mr Sands: [to Angel] Hands by your sides! Attention! Name and number?

Angel: 4736, Angel, sir.

Mr Sands: Louder!

Angel: [Slightly louder] 4736, Angel, sir.

Mr Sands: Straight out the banana trees, eh? Well, you take it from me, nig-nog, you go steal white man's motor cars and you get white man's stick, right?

Angel: Yes, sir.

Mr Sands: Now, get this cell scrubbed. On the double!

[Angel, Davis and Carlin are all lined up against a wall]

Mr Sands: Right. I'm Mr. Sands, this is Mr Greaves. I'm the senior officer and I run A wing. I run it. Right, Carlin?

Carlin: Yes, Sir!

Mr Sands: I come down very heavy on anyone who doesn't grasp that fact. Right? Right?

Carlin: Yes, Sir!

[Mr Sands walks up to Angel]

Mr Sands: Angel, you're in a single room. Some of the lads are what you might call..."prejudiced". You're well advised to keep yourself to yourself. It's your first borstal, innit lad?

Angel: Yes, sir, apart from the Scrubs...

Mr Sands: [interrupts Angel] Forget the Scrubs! The holiday's over.

Mr. Greaves: Move!

[Angel moves]

Mr Sands: Davis, you were foolish enough to run away from an open borstal and you'll soon be wishing you were back there. You're in a single room. Now move!

[Davis moves]

Mr. Greaves: [at Davis] Move it!

Mr Sands: [at Carlin] Carlin, you're in a dormitory. Now, move!

[Carlin moves]

Mr Sands: That's it! In there, on the left.

[Carlin goes to the dormitory on the left and stops. Mr Sands walks in]

Mr Sands: [points at an empty bed] That's yours, Carlin.

[Carlin moves to the empty bed]

Mr Sands: You know the ropes and you know why you're here. I'll jump on you from a great height if you so much as breathe. Got that?

Carlin: Yes, sir!

Mr Sands: There's a lad, a big lad called Pongo in that bed. He heard you were coming. Now, grab that broom and get to work on that floor. I wanna shave in it!

[Carlin grabs the broom and scrubs the floor. As he scrubs the floor, Mr Sands deliberately drops Carlin's gear]

Mr Sands: Carlin?

[Carlin stops momentarily]

Mr Sands: We don't leave our bed space in that condition in here. Make up your bed and your gear away. On the double!

[Carlin puts the broom away and unpacks his gear]

Mr Sands: Next time, you're on report.

[Mr Sands discovers Angel's room is a mess shortly after Angel's beating]

Mr Sands: What's this then? On your feet, lad! What do you think this is? Stand up! Name and number?

[Angel stands up slowly]

Angel: Angel, sir.

Mr Sands: Number?

Angel: Can't remember, sir.

Mr Sands: Can't remember? Your number, lad, that's all you are, a number! A number! Four digits. That's all you are! 4736! Name and number?

Angel: 4736, Angel, sir.

Mr Sands: Who did this?

Angel: What, sir?

Mr Sands: Don't give that, boy! Who did this?

Angel: No-one, sir.

Mr Sands: Fighting?

Angel: No, sir.

Mr Sands: Fell?

Angel: No, sir.

Mr Sands: Damaging government property are we, you black bastard?

Angel: No, sir.

Mr Sands: Come on, what are we doing then, you black Brixton slag.

Angel: Nothing, sir.

Mr Sands: Fighting, you're booked for fighting. Governor's report, right?

Angel: I wasn't...

Mr Sands: Right?

Angel: You don't OWN me, you know.

Nick the Pimp: Well, nail my dick to a tree. I may not OWN you, honey, but you sure as heck OWE me.

[pause]

Nick the Pimp: And as far as I'm concerned that makes me the President of the United States of Fuck You.

Angel: I believe she's down for the job.

Nick the Pimp: Dynamite.

Angel: You're gonna dig her, baby.

Nick the Pimp: Tell me more.

Angel: Well, she's a little blonde girl... fresh meat.

Nick the Pimp: How sweet!

Angel: Firm tits, tight ass. Baby, she's so hot she could make the devil sweat.

Nick the Pimp: But do you think she can make ME sweat?

Angel: I think you ARE the devil.

Nick the Pimp: I sure brought an Angel down to her knees.

[first lines]

Mark, Angel, Maureen, Roger, Collins, Benjamin Coffin III, Mimi: Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes. Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear. Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes. How do you measure, measure a year? In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee. In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. In five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes - how do you measure a year in the life? How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love... seasons of love.

Collins: In honor of the death of Bohemia, an improtu salon will commence immediately following dinner. Maureen Johnson, back from her spectacular one-night engagement at the eleventh street lot, will sing Native American tribal chants backwards through her vocorder, while accompanying herself on the electric chello, which she ain't never studied.

Roger: And Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary about his inability to hold an erection on high holy days.

Mark: Mimi Marquez, clad only in bubble wrap, will perform her famous lawn chair-handcuff dance to the sound of iced tea being stirred. And Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet, evocative song.

Roger: [picks up a guitar and plays]

Mark: That doesn't remind us of Musetta's Waltz.

Collins: Angel Dumont Schunard will model the latest fall fashions from Paris while accomanying herself on the 10 gallon plastic pickle tub.

Angel: And Collins will recount his exploits as an anarchist, including the tale of his successful reprogramming of the MIT virtural reality equipment to self-destruct as it broadcast the words:

All: Actual reality! Act up! Fight AIDS!

Mark, Angel, Mimi: Bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens, carcinogens, hallucinocens, men, Pee Wee Herman! German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein, Antoniotti, Bertolucci, Kurosawa, Carmina Burana!

Collins, Mark, Mimi, Angel: [Sung] I can't control

Roger Davis: [Sung] Control your temper

Collins, Mark, Mimi, Angel: [Sung] My destiny

Roger Davis: [Sung] She doesn't see

Collins, Mark, Mimi, Angel: [Sung] I trust my soul

Roger Davis: [Sung] Who says that there's a soul

Collins, Mark, Mimi, Angel: [Sung] My only goal, is just to be

Roger Davis: Just let me be!

Collins, Mark, Mimi, Angel: [Sung in time with Roger] There's only now, there's only here. Give into love, or live in fear. No other path, no other way. No day but today.

Roger Davis: [Sung] Who do you think you are? Barging in on me and my guitar. Little girl hey, the door is that way.

Mimi: [Sung] No day but today.

Roger Davis: [Sung] The fire's dead anyway.

Collins, Mark, Mimi, Angel: [Sung] No day but today.

Roger Davis: [Sung] Take your powder, take your candle.

Collins, Mark, Mimi, Angel: [Sung] No day but today.

Roger Davis: [Sung] Take your brown eyes, your pretty smile, your silouette.

Collins, Mark, Mimi, Angel: [Sung] No day but today.

Roger Davis: [Sung] Another time, another place, another round, a warm embrace.

Collins, Mark, Mimi, Angel: [Sung] No day but today.

Roger Davis: [Sung] Another dance another way, another chance, another day

Collins, Mark, Mimi, Angel: [Sung] No day but today.

Life Cafe Manager: [Mark, Maureen, Joanne, Mimi, Angel, and Collins walk into the Life Cafe] Oh, no. Please, no. No. Not tonight. Please leave.

Mark: What are you talking about? Why?

Life Cafe Manager: Because you sit here all night and you never order anything.

Mark: That's a lie. Just last week I had a tea.

Life Cafe Manager: You couldn't pay.

Mark: Oh, yeah.

Angel: Tonight we can.

[Holding up money]

Angel: Ka-pow.

Collins: So with a thousand sweet kisses...

Angel: If you're cold and you're lonely.

Collins: ...I'll cover you. With a thousand sweet kisses...

Angel: You've got one nickel only.

Collins: ...I'll cover you.

Angel: With a thousand sweet kisses...

Collins: When you're worn out and tired.

Angel: ...I'll cover you. With a thousand sweet kisses... I'll cover you!

Collins: When your heart has expired!

Collins, Angel: Oh lover, I'll cover you!

Mimi, Angel: [sung] To hand crafted beers made in local breweries, to yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese. To leather, to dildoes, to curry vindaloo. To huevos rancheros and Maya Angelou.

Collins, Maureen: [sung] Emotion, devotion to causing a commotion. Creation, vacation...

Mark: [sung] Mucho masturbation.

Angel, Collins: I've longed to discover something as true as this is.

All: [sung] No other road / No other way / No day but today

Mimi, Joanne, Maureen: [sung] I can't control / My destiny

Mark, Roger, Collins, Angel, Benjamin Coffin III: [sung] Will I lose my dignity / Will someone care

Mimi, Joanne, Maureen: [sung] I trust my soul / My only goal / Is just to be

Mark, Roger, Collins, Angel, Benjamin Coffin III: [sung] Will I wake tomorrow / From this nightmare

Mimi, Joanne, Maureen: [sung] Without you / The hand gropes

Mark, Roger, Collins, Angel, Benjamin Coffin III: [sung] There's only now / There's only here

Mimi, Joanne, Maureen: [sung] The ear hears / The pulse beats

Mark, Roger, Collins, Angel, Benjamin Coffin III: [sung] Give in to love / Or live in fear

Mimi, Joanne, Maureen: [sung] Life goes on / But I'm gone

Mark, Roger, Collins, Angel, Benjamin Coffin III: [sung] No other path / No other way

Mimi, Joanne, Maureen: [sung] 'Cause I die / Without you / I die without you

Mark, Roger, Collins, Angel, Benjamin Coffin III: [sung] No day but today / No day but today

Mimi, Joanne, Maureen: [sung] I die without you / I die without you

Mark, Roger, Collins, Angel, Benjamin Coffin III: [sung] No day but today / No day but today

Mimi, Joanne, Maureen: [sung] I die without you / I die without you

Mark, Roger, Collins, Angel, Benjamin Coffin III: [sung] No day but today / No day but today

All: [sung] NO DAY BUT TODAY!

Angel: [sung] And sure as I am here that dog is now in doggie hell!

Angel, Mimi: [sung] To hand crafted beers made in local breweries, To yoga, to yogurt, to rice, and beans, and cheese, To leather, to dildos, to curry-vindaloo, to huevos rancheros, and Maya Angelou.

Mark: And who are you two supposed to be?

Collins: Bond, James Bond.

Angel: And Pussy Galore... in person.

[Angel discovers Collins, who has been mugged]

Angel: Oh my God, are you okay, honey?

Collins: I'm afraid so.

Angel: They get anything, or...?

Collins: I didn't have any money, but they took my stuff.

[Angel tries to wipe the blood from Collins' forehead]

Collins: No, I'm fine, I'm fine.

Angel: I'm Angel.

Collins: Angel. Friends call me Collins. Tom Collins.

Angel: Come on. Let's get you cleaned up. Sort of have to hurry; I have a life support meeting to go to.

Collins: Life support?

Angel: Yeah. It's for people with AIDS. People like me.

Collins: Me, too.

Collins, Mark, Maureen, Mimi, Joanne, Angel, Roger Davis: To people living with, living with, living with... not dying from disease. Let he among us without sin be the first to condem La Vie Boheme.

Angel: Today for you, tomorrow for me!

Tom: And you should hear her beat.

Mark: You earned this on the street?

Angel: It was my lucky day today on Avenue A when the lady in the limousine drove my way - she said, "Darling, be a dear - haven't slept in a year! I need your help to make my neighbor's yappy dog disappear! This akita - Evita - just won't shut up! I believe if you play nonstop that pup will breathe its very last high-strung breath. I'm certain that cur will bark itself to death!"

Collins, Angel: I think they meant it when they said you can't buy love. Now I know you can rent it, a new lease you are my love - on life... be my life.

Angel: Today for you, tomorrow for me!

Tom: And you should hear her beat.

Roger: You earned this on the street?

Angel: It was my lucky day today on Avenue A when the lady in the limousine drove my way - she said, "Darling, be a dear - haven't slept in a year! I need your help to make my neighbor's yappy dog disappear! This akita - Evita - just won't shut up! I believe if you play nonstop that pup will breathe its very last high-strung breath. I'm certain that cur will bark itself to death!"

Joanne, Collins, Mark, Angel, Mimi, Maureen, Roger, Benjamin Coffin III: All Its time now to sing out, though the story never ends. Lets celebrate remember the year of the life of friends. Remember the love.

Joanne: You got to, you got to remember the love.

Collins, Mark, Angel, Mimi, Maureen, Roger, Benjamin Coffin III: Remember the love.

Joanne: You know that love us a gift from up above.

Collins, Mark, Angel, Mimi, Maureen, Roger, Benjamin Coffin III: Remember the love.

Joanne: Share love, give love, spread love.

Collins, Mark, Roger, Angel, Ali, Paul, Steve, Pam: [sung] Will I lose my dignity? Will someone care? Will I wake tomorrow, from this nightmare?

Collins: You gonna put that trashcan back?

Angel: No.

Angel: You teach?

Collins: I teach- computer age philosophy, but my students would rather watch TV

Angel: America

All: America!

Mark: That's a lie; just last week I had a tea.

Life Cafe Waiter: You couldn't pay.

Mark: Oh yeah...

Angel: Well tonight, we can. Kapow!

Collins: Baby, you're drunk.

Angel: No I'm not.

Angel: New York City.

Mark: Uh-huh.

Angel: Center of the universe.

Collins: Sang it, girl!

Angel: Times are shitty, but I'm pretty sure they can't get worse.

Roger: I hear that.

Angel: It's a comfort to know, when you're singing the hit-the-road blues...

[sung]

Angel: That anywhere else you could possibly go after New York would be

[whispered]

Angel: a pleasure cruise!

Collins: Now you're talkin'!

Dr. Ramirez: How'd you do it?

Angel: I got the test ahead of time and passed it out to all the others?

Dr. Pearson: How did you get it?

Angel: The Mailman

[pause]

Angel: I strangled him and his body's decomposing in my locker.

Angel: Hey, Kemo, you should be proud of me, man! I'm the first dude here. What's calcoolus?

Chuco: Lots of stars up there, Homey. Not too polluted.

Angel: The stars aren't really there, ese. No, what you're looking at is where they used to be, man. It takes the light a thousand years to reach the Earth. You know, for all we know, they burned out a long time ago, man. God pulled the plug on us. He didn't tell nobody.

Chuco: The stars are out there, homeboy. I don't care what you say.

Angel: Yeah, I have the same answer as gordita.

Lupe: Don't call me gordita, pendejo.

Angel: [while Escalante is cooking dinner] Why don't we order out?

Jaime Escalante: [Escalante looks at him incredulously]

Angel: I'm kidding, man!

Jaime Escalante: Go to woodshop and make yourself a shoeshine box. You're gonna need it.

Angel: You the man, you know? Why don't you put them in college, huh? So dumb taco benders like me can pick their vegetables for them, collect their garbage, clip their poodles' toenails. I may be a sinner, but I'm willing to pay for my sins.

Jaime Escalante: Right. See you at three.

Angel: I got more bad news for you, *profe.* I know this is really gonna trip you out, but... I forgot my pencil.

[Ana produces a pencil for him]

Angel: You are a sourpuss, aren't you?

Brad Braden: Yeah.

Angel: You want to bite somebody?

Brad Braden: Yeah.

Angel: Well, pick your spot.

Klaus: You always have a smile for that high-flying peacock.

Angel: Well, what do you want me to do, cry over him?

Klaus: Your legs are too thin, your hair is too red, you have lips like a cat. You're no good. You give me too much trouble.

Angel: Flattery rolls right off me.

Angel: Listen, sugar, the only way that you can keep me warm is to wrap me up in a marriage license.

Angel: Did he say you were like cognac? All fire in zee glass?

Holly: No, he said I was like champagne. I made his head spin.

Angel: Yeah, only you'll be the one who winds up with a hangover.

Angel: [Sebastian almost drives his car into the elephant Angel is riding] Hey! Don't crowd, mister! Can't you see an elephant or do I have to paint her red?

Sebastian: I was blinded by the memory of a beautiful night in Paris.

Angel: [to the other circus performers] Blow up your water wings, girls, here comes the big wave!

[to Sebastian]

Angel: How come no husband ever shot you?

Sebastian: I never offer a sitting target.

Angel: I thought I'd seen the last of you when you got mixed up with that wire walker in Lisbon.

Sebastian: You will never see the last of me, Angel.

Klaus: Angel!

[shouting loud]

Angel: That will be arranged when you meet Klaus.

Holly: [Very frustrated] I send Angel for a doctor and she comes back with an *elephant*!

Angel: [Filled with sarcasm] You better let Birdie bandage up the pixie if you want to say good bye to our boyfriend!

Holly: [Horrified] Brad!

[while Sebastian was speaking, romantically to Holly, Ruth, an elephant, was directed by Angel to pick up and take Holly away, from Sebastian, to Brad]

Sebastian: [Sebastian, speaking French] Qu'est-ce qu'al y a?

Holly: Let me go. Sebastian.

Angel: Never try to take anything from an elephant.

Holly: Sebastian, do something!

Sebastian: A lion I fight for you, a tiger! But the red-headed wildcat with an elephant, no.

[then he chuckled, with a big grin]

Holly: You make this two-tailed jackass put me down.

[Ruth, being guided by Angel, took Holly to Brad Braden, then let go of her, in front of Brad]

Angel: [Whistling and waving] Officer? Officer, could... could you help me with... I... Could you help take a picture of my... I want to take a picture of myself in front of this billboard.

Officer Pete Foster: Is that you?

Angel: Yeah.

Officer Pete Foster: Really.

Angel: I'm a lot smaller in person.

Angel: I did not inhale.

Angel: I am not gay... I am young.

Susan: Why do you look like James Mason?

Angel: Do I look like James Mason?

Susan: I should say you do!

Angel: (admiring himself in a mirror) So I look like James Mason, do I?

Angel: Some people don't notice the clock on the wall 'till it stops ticking.

Susan: Why do you look like James Mason?

Angel: I look the way you want me to look.

Susan: Oh. You mean, if you were Millie's angel you'd look like Gregory Peck?

Angel: That's the idea. And if I were Larry's angel, I should look like Ava Gardner.

Susan: You would not! Larry's not like other men!

Angel: Isn't he?

Charles Y. Bewell: What's this you were saying about Ava Gardner?

Lorenzo Xavier Vega: Oh, I dreamed about her last night.

Charles Y. Bewell: Hmmm. Nice going, boy.

Angel: [talking privately to Susan] Well, I can't help it if he dreams about her. Do you remember the time you dreamed that you and I were caught in an elevator alone, between floors, and you...

Susan: Quiet!

Angel: Cut is out! Snap out of it, baby!

Susan: What did you call me?

Angel: Baby.

Susan: That's very sweet of you, Angel.

Susan: All right, why did she love him?

Angel: Because, the man with the face of a mountain goat - had the heart of an Abraham Lincoln.

Susan: I know what you're going to say, "The husband and wife are one and the husband is the one." Look, that's a very old fashioned idea. Why should the wife always go the husband's way?

Angel: [laughs] Not always! But, in your case, there's no other way to go.

Angel: I hope you fuck as good as you sound.

Stash: When you feel you're losing the ball, you push the pin-ball to save the game. You want to be a player. You want to outsmart the machine. But if you push it too much, the game cuts you off. That's TILT... Game Over.

Angel: You're fucked, in other words.

Gogo: Too bad for the German girl. What are you laughing at? I would've become a "von". Yeah, "von". Her father's name is "von Something". They even got a castle.

Angel: And you are a feudal peasant.

Angel: I love girls with necks like yours.

Angel: Oh, my God! Make me think I've been in the wrong saddle all these years!

[Barbarosa and Karl are surrounded by bandits]

Angel: You are on my road, senor.

Barbarosa: This is your road? I don't see any signs. You see any signs, farm boy? You should put up a sign; this is my road.

Angel: Signs? Look around you, there are signs everywhere (nods toward armed bandits). Maybe you don't know who I am.

Barbarosa: I think I recognize you. You're Mr. Shit.

Angel: I am Angel Morales.

Barbarosa: Do you know who I am?

Angel: Si, senor; I know who you are.

Barbarosa: (to Karl) We might be in a little trouble here.

[Morales is talking to his parents]

Angel: [to Karl] My father says you stopped Barbarosa from robbing him.

Barbarosa: Yeah, I was goin' to rob your pitiful old daddy and then shoot that squawkin' old woman just for spite!