Andy Kaufman Quotes in Man on the Moon (1999)

Andy Kaufman: You don't know the real me.

Lynne Margulies: There isn't a real you.

Andy Kaufman: Oh yeah, I forgot.

Lynne Margulies: So, you just pretend to be an asshole.

Andy Kaufman: It's what I'm good at.

Andy Kaufman: I am sick of this shit, Lawler. I am gonna sue you. I'm gonna sue you, I swear to God. Fuck you! Okay? Okay, Lawler? Fuck you! I'm sorry, Dave. I know I'm not supposed to use those words on television. I can't say those words. I'm sorry, I'm sorry! But, you, you are a motherfucking, fucking asshole! Okay?

[first lines]

Andy Kaufman: Hello. I am Andy and I would like to thank you for coming to my movie. I wish it was *better*, you know, but... it is so stupid! It's terrible! I do not even like it. All of the most important things in my life are changed around and mixed up for dramatic purposes. So, I decided to cut out all of the baloney! Now the movie is much *shorter*.

[pause]

Andy Kaufman: In fact, this is the end of the movie. Thank you very much.

Andy Kaufman: Since you've all been such good boys and girls, I would like to take everybody in this entire audience out for milk and cookies. There are buses outside. Everybody follow me.

Andy Kaufman: I am from Caspiar, an Island in the Caspian Sea. It sunk.