Andre Quotes in Dawn of the Dead (2004)

Andre: [Deleted scene/Unrated Version scene]

[to Michael]

Andre: Hey, my man. You know, I hear you talking a lot. You know, you're always saying something. Who the fuck are you that we should listen, huh? What are you, like, in Special Ops? You in the Marines? What the fuck do you do?

Michael: I sell televisions at Best Buy.

Andre: [to Kenneth] Wow.

[chuckling]

Andre: Hey, Officer, how you like following a guy that sells TVs?

Kenneth: About as much as I like following a guy who steals them. I'm not following anyone.

Michael: Officer, sir, you do not want to go that way.

Ana: Why? What's that way?

Michael: It's pretty bad.

Andre: It's hell.

Kenneth: What about Fort Pastor?

Andre: Maybe if you had wings. The road's thick with those motherfuckers that way.

Kenneth: How do you know?

Andre: We just tried.

Michael: Back when there was eight of us. We're going to the mall.

Andre: Where's the lemon stuff?

Monica: It's gone. Steve likes to put it in his booze. Try the vanilla stuff.

Andre: It's a girl!

Luda: Excuse me, please? Is there a restroom?

CJ: No. You're staying here.

Andre: So then why don't you tell us which spot in here you'd like us to take a piss?

Andre: Shatterproof, asshole.

[first lines]

Lissa Dragomir: [about a song on the radio] Oh, Father, turn it up.

Rose Hathaway: Please, Mr. Dragomir, I love this song.

Andre: This song is sick... the traditional "vomit" definition of the word.

Lissa Dragomir: Shut up, Andre. Me and Rose want to hear it.

Lissa's Mom: "Rose and I," Lissa, "Rose and I."

Lissa's Dad: I think the tune is rather catchy.

[reaches for the radio just as an oncoming car crosses the center line]

Agent Fulbright: If the present government collapses, there'll be NO new government. Only chaos. Unless...

Andre: Unless what?

Agent Fulbright: We gotta organize the rebels, get somebody now - before the shit hits the fan - who's, uh, reasonable.

Andre: And by reasonable, you mean someone who will do whatever the Americans want him to do.

Agent Fulbright: Yeah. Well, maybe. Why not?

Andre: You're a cute little mouse. Would you like some soup?

Despereaux: No I don't want... The princess is in danger!

Andre: And a talking mouse, too.

Despereaux: Listen, you gotta help me.

Andre: Perhaps a little cheese?

Despereaux: No I don't want any Cheese! The princess, she's in danger! She's locked in the dungeon!

Boldo: In the dungeon?

Andre: Oh, don't be silly my little mouse. Everything is fine. The princess is perfectly safe up in her...

[thunder]

Andre: You ruined my soup!

Boldo: I saved your soup! Those people wait all year and you want to give them this dishwater!

Andre: Dishwater?

Boldo: Dishwater.

Andre: Dishwater!

Boldo: Ow! Cut it out!

Queen: It moved. My soup moved.

Andre: No, it isn't. It did not move.

Andre: Boldo, look, it's...

[he turns as he realizes Boldo left]

Andre: Boldo, where are you?

Andre: Enough!

Andre: Allô?

[he picks up candle stick to see what's making all that noise]

Andre: [Andre and Miggery Sow screamed at each other]

Andre: What are you doing?

Miggery Sow: I need it for a baby.

[Andre stood there doIng nothing]

Roscuro: [behind Miggery Sow] No, not a baby. For malady.

Miggery Sow: I mean malady. To chop apples. She'd like some apples.

[Andre was confused]

Roscuro: Now turn and leave.

Miggery Sow: Now turn and leave!

[Andre slowly backed away]

Roscuro: No, no! Just turn and leave.

Miggery Sow: Oh, right. Sorry.

[Hides butcher knife behind her back]

Miggery Sow: Sorry, bye.

Erin Gruwell: The evaluation assignment was to grade yourself on the work you're doing. You gave yourself an F. What's that about?

Andre: It's what I feel I deserve, that's all.

Erin Gruwell: Oh really?

[pause]

Erin Gruwell: You know what this is? This is a Fuck You to me and everyone in this class. I don't want excuses. I know what you're up against. We're all of us up against something. So you better make up your mind, because until you have the balls to look me straight in the eye and tell me this is all you deserve, I am not letting you fail. Even if that means coming to your house every night until you finish the work. I see who you are. Do you understand me? I can see you. And you are not failing.

Andre: Justice doesn't mean the bad guy goes to jail, it just means that someone pays for the crime.

Marcus: No, that don't fly Ma.

Erin Gruwell: First of all I'm not anybody's mother.

Andre: No, that's not what it means.

Eva: It's a sign of respect... for you.

Erin Gruwell: But to get respect you have to give it.

Andre: Bullshit.

Erin Gruwell: What?

Andre: Why should I give you my respect to you? Because you're a teacher? I don't know you. How do I know you're not a liar standing up there. How do I know you're not a bad person standing up there? I'm not just gonna give you my respect because you're called a teacher.

Eva: White people wanting their respect like its for free.

Erin Gruwell: Does anyone know Homer's the Odyssey?

Andre: I know Homer the Simpson.

Marcus: Lady, stop acting like you tryin' to understand our situation, and just do your little babysitting up there.

Erin Gruwell: That's what you think this is?

Marcus: It ain't nothing else. When I look out in the world I don't see nobody that looks like me with their pockets full unless they're rapping a lyrics or dribbling a ball, so what else you got in here for me?

Erin Gruwell: And what if you can't rap a lyric or dribble a ball?

Andre: It ain't this.

Marcus: I know that's right.

Erin Gruwell: And you all think you're gonna make it to graduation like this?

Andre: I made it to HIGH school ain't nobody stop me.

Marcus: Lady I'm lucky if I make it to 18, we in a war! We graduating every day we live because we ain't afraid to die, protecting our own. At least when you die for your own, you die with respect, you die a warrior.

Andre: My brother taught me what the life is for a young black man. Pimp, deal, whatever. Learn what colors to wear. Gang banners. You can sell to one corner, but you can't sell another. Learn to be quiet. The wrong word can get you popped.

Andre: She can't even look at me because I look like my dad.

Andre: It's the dumb class cuz. It means you too dumb.

Jamal: Man, say it to my face cuz.

Andre: I just did. See what I mean? Dumb?

Andre: They've built their own prison, so they exist a state of schizophrenia. They're both guards and prisoners and as a result they no longer have, having been lobotomized, the capacity to leave the prison they've made, or to even see it as a prison.

Andre: A baby holds your hands, and then suddenly, there's this huge man lifting you off the ground, and then he's gone. Where's that son?

Andre: OK. Yes, we are bored. We're all bored now. But has it ever occurred to you Wally that the process that creates this boredom that we see in the world now may very well be a self-perpetuating, unconscious form of brainwashing, created by a world totalitarian government based on money, and that all of this is much more dangerous than one thinks? and it's not just a question of individual survival Wally, but that somebody who's bored is asleep, and somebody who's asleep will not say no?

Andre: We can't be direct, so we end up saying the weirdest things.

Wally: Suppose you're going through some kind of hell in your own life, well you would love to know if friends have experience similar things. But we just don't dare to ask each other.

Andre: No, It would be like asking your friend to drop his role.

Andre: What does it do to us, Wally, living in an environment where something as massive as the seasons or winter or cold, don't in any way affect us? I mean, were animals after all. I mean... what does that mean? I think that means that instead of living under the sun and the moon and the sky and the stars, we're living in a fantasy world of our own making.

Wally: Yeah, but I mean, I would never give up my electric blanket, Andre. I mean, because New York is cold in the winter. I mean, our apartment is cold! It's a difficult environment. I mean, our life is tough enough as it is. I'm not looking for ways to get rid of a few things that provide relief and comfort. I mean, on the contrary, I'm looking for more comfort because the world is very abrasive. I mean, I'm trying to protect myself because, really, there's these abrasive beatings to be avoided everywhere you look!

Andre: But, Wally, don't you see that comfort can be dangerous? I mean, you like to be comfortable and I like to be comfortable too, but comfort can lull you into a dangerous tranquility.

Andre: Do you know, in Sanskrit the root of the verb "to be" is the same as "to grow" or "to make grow".

Andre: I wouldn't put on an electric blanket on for anything. First, I'd be worried I might get electrocuted. No, I don't trust technology. But I mean, the main thing, Wally, is that I think that kind of comfort just separates you from reality in a very direct way.

Andre: Our minds are just focused on these goals and plans, which in themselves are not reality.

Wally: Goals and plans are not... they're fantasy. They're part of a dream-life.

Andre: Things don't affect people the way they used to. I mean it may very well be that 10 years from now people will pay $10,000 in cash to be castrated just in order to be affected by *something*.

Andre: Remember that moment when Marlon Brando sent the Indian woman to accept the Oscar, and everything went haywire? Things just very rarely go haywire now. If you're just operating by habit, then you're not really living.

Andre: Exercises meant nothing to me anymore. Working on scenes from plays seemed ridiculous. I-I didn't know what to do. I mean, I just couldn't do it. So he said, 'Why don't you tell me anything you'd like to have if you did a workshop for me, no matter how outrageous? Maybe I can give it to you.' So I said, 'Well if you could give me 40 Jewish women who speak neither English nor French. Either women who've been in the theater for a long time and want to leave it but don't know why, or young women who love the theater but had never seen a theater they could love. And if these women could play the trumpet or the harp, and if I could work in a forest, I'd come... '

Andre: And at one point, I noticed that Grotowski was at the center of one group huddled around a bunch of candles that they'd gathered together. And like a little child fascinated by fire, I saw that he had his hand right in the flame and was holding it there! And as I approached his group, I wondered if I could do it. I put my left hand in the flame, and I found I could it there for as long as I like and there was no burn and no pain. But when I tried to put my right hand in the flame, I couldn't hold it there for a second. So, Grotowski said, 'If it burns, try to change some little thing in yourself.' And I tried to do that - didn't work.

Andre: Anyway, after about an hour of this wild hypnotic dancing Grotowski and I found ourselves sitting opposite each other in the middle of this whole thing and we threw the Teddy Bear back and forth. You know, on one level you'd say this is childish. And I gave the Teddy Bear suck suddenly on my breast then I threw the Teddy Bear to him and he gave it it suck on his breast. And then the Teddy Bear was thrown up into the air again at which was another explosion of form into something. It was something like a Kaleidoscope. Like a human Kaleidoscope. The evening was made up of shiftings of a Kaleidoscope!

Andre: I just had to put myself into a training program to learn how to be a human being.

Andre: Oh! And there was one girl who wasn't in our group, but who just wouldn't leave. So, we took her along with us!

[laughs]

Andre: We're all like Lady Hatfield now.

Andre: When I started this, I thought I'd, um, I thought I'd hate it. But now, if like the EP blew up tomorrow, I'd probably still do this on the side. Do you see how many girls I meet every day?

Ken: Yes, I saw.

Andre: For free, I don't gotta pay, all I gotta do is sing. And you think about that and these girls have to deal with men in their lives who every day, they don't listen to them. They don't ask them what they want. All we got to do is ask them what they want and when they tell you, it's a beautiful thing, man. We're like healers or something.

Ken: Yes, man!

Julia: Can I get some more prime rib?

Andre: Prime rib, always the prime rib. Make them eat the fish!

Holly: Four more prime ribs.

Andre: [bowing] Your wish is my command, my darling.

Julia: How come he's so nice to you?

Holly: I let him look at my boobs at the Christmas party last year. Not my finest half hour, but its been a pleasant working environment ever since.

Julia: [he looks at Julia] No!

Andre: Hey, you know what you must do...

[takes off his jacket to reveal his shirt says RELAX]

Andre: relax; don't do it.

Joel: I... I mean, you're more than just a sissy. You're nice and... and clean and smart... and sexy and firm and luscious and...

Andre: Excuse me! The last thing I need right now is some fruit who's just proved himself straight tellin' my ass how sexy I am!

Andre: Congratulations, liars! You know who you are and you know who you want. Aint nothin' gonna change that, shit!

Mary: Ok, then, who's left to report out their root? Andre?

Andre: Shit, Ms. Mary, I ain't the only one who ain't got no root.

Mary: Andre, we don't use profanity or double negatives here at True Directions. Ok, who's next? Megan!

Megan: Well, I've really been thinking but I just can't think of anything.

Graham: I think our little Prom Queen is too afraid to disclose.

Megan: Oh, really? What's your root, Graham?

Graham: We're working on your issue here, not mine. You're deflecting.

Mary: Actually, I think it might be a great idea for Megan to be reminded of your root, Graham.

Graham: My mother got married in pants.

[group applauds]

Mary: All right, let's see, uh, Dolph!

Dolph: Too many locker room showers with the varsity team.

Mary: Hilary?

Hilary: Um, all girl boarding school.

Mary: Sinead.

Sinead: I was born in France.

Mary: Clayton.

Clayton Dunn: My mom let me play in her pumps.

Jan: I like balls.

Mary: Why, thank you for that Jan.

[group applauds]

Mary: Joel?

Joel: Traumatic... bris. So... yeah.

Andre: She's just upset because the fish on her plate is the only kind she can eat.

Jan: I mean, everybody thinks I'm this big dyke because... 'cause I wear baggy pants, I play softball, and... and I'm not as pretty as other girls, but that doesn't make me gay. I mean, I like guys. I can't help it. I just want a big fat wiener up my...

Andre: Amen, sister.

Andre: Look at the Goddamn moon! It's glorious!

Andre: Are you out of your mind? What the hell were you thinking about?

Nicole: You're yelling.

Andre: Of course I'm yelling! My daughter tells some stranger that her father is her, her...

Nicole: *Lover*!

Andre: Oh, God! I hate that word. It's so... so graphic. Who else thinks this?

Nicole: A few of the other people.

Andre: How many of them?

Nicole: All of them.

Andre: All of them! Incroyable! I've been walking around here with you the past few days. They think I'm child molester!

Nicole: [she starts to cry] You're yelling again.

Andre: Why... why do you make up such stories?

Nicole: I don't know. It just comes naturally to me.

Andre: So it's genetic. Is that it?

Nicole: Yes. No! I don't know.

Andre: You have to tell him the truth.

Nicole: I tried to. Believe me, it's not that easy. I care about him.

Andre: [he smiles at her] Do you love him?

Nicole: Yes, I think so. I mean, yes, I do.

Andre: Has he done anything to you?

Nicole: No, he hasn't done anything to me. Besides, if I tell him I made all this up, he'll hate me. He'll think I'm some kind of liar.

Andre: You are.

Andre: How did it go?

Nicole: He's very impressed by you. He thinks you're a great guy.

Andre: [sarcastically] What a relief.

Nicole: And I told him I'm staying with you.

Andre: Isn't he jealous?

Nicole: I told him there's nothing to be jealous of. That there's nothing between us anymore because of... Promise you won't get mad?

Andre: Why do I get so frightened every time you ask me that?

Nicole: Because of your heart.

Andre: My heart? What about my heart?

Nicole: I told him you were dying.

Andre: I'm dying now.

[everyone in the balcony looks at him]

Nicole: Daddy. I told him I had to stay with you for your final days.

Andre: *My final days*? What's the matter with you?

Nicole: I don't know once I start lying, I can't stop. It's kind of addictive.

Andre: What I'm dying of?

Nicole: A rare disease you caught in Africa.

Andre: When was I in Africa?

Nicole: During the Hundred Years War.

Andre: The Hundred Years War was in the Middle Ages, in Europe!

Nicole: He didn't seem to notice.

Andre: Why not the Crusades?

[Nicole rolls her eyes at him]

Andre: I'm having an affair with my phone machine.

[Nicole stands up, wearing a thong bathing suit]

Andre: What - what's that?

Nicole: What's the matter?

Andre: What are you wearing?

Nicole: My bathing suit!

Andre: The whole thing?

Nicole: What, you don't like it?

Andre: Are you sure you didn't leave part of it in the box?

Nicole: Get real, Andre. Everybody's wearing them.

Andre: Everyone's staring at you!

Nicole: No, everyone's staring at you.

Andre: I insist you change!

Nicole: And I insist you loosen up, Andre, dear.

[Kisses him on the cheek]

Stella: Now she's French.

Andre: To you I probably seem old.

Nicole: You are old.

Nicole: Daddy, can I talk to you about something?

Andre: Of course. You can talk to me about anything.

Nicole: Anything?

Andre: Anything at all. What is it? Tell me.

Nicole: Promise not to yell.

Andre: I promise. Now tell me.

Nicole: It's really not that bad.

Andre: Tell me.

Nicole: You said you wouldn't yell.

Andre: That was not yelling, trust me.

Nicole: I told Ben you weren't my father.

Andre: Why?

Nicole: Because I wanted to impress him.

Andre: What did you tell him I was? A famous pianist? A wirter? What?

Nicole: [she takes a deep breath] I told him you were my lover.

Andre: Are you serious?

Nicole: Yes.

Nicole: My whole life will be ruined.

Andre: No. No, no. Your life will not be ruined. Mine maybe, but yours won't.

Nicole: He'll hate me!

Andre: No, no, he won't hate you.

Nicole: Yes, he will! I'm going to die!

Angel-A: [in French] I'm an angel.

André: [in French] I love you.

André: Who'd be dead if I hadn't saved you?

Angel-A: Who'd be dead if there wasn't anyone to save?

André: My whole life I've been in the shit. No one ever helped me out. Ever.

Angel-A: If I give you my life, would you know what to do with it?

André: If you give a man a carrot, he'll know what to do with it.

André: It's difficult to love yourself, when nobody shows you how

[Telephone conversation]

Amber: Who is this?

Andre: I am Andre le Pate. I have big balls! And my ass breathes fire!

Count Thibault: I am already wealthy. I own hundreds of horses and bags of pepper, four hundred backs of wool, and fifty barrels of Spanish olives.

Andre: And you own me, Sire.

Count Thibault: Yes. But you have no value.

Andre: [pause] That is true.

Andre: You want some dog?

[the Phantom drops a backdrop on Carlotta]

Andre: Signora, these things do happen.

Carlotta: For the past three years, these things do happen!

[to LeFevre]

Carlotta: And did you stop them from happening? No!

[to Firmin and Andre]

Carlotta: And you two - you're as bad as him! "These things do happen!" Ma... until you stop these things from happening, this thing does not happen! Ubaldo! Andiamo! Bring my doggy and my boxy!

[Carlotta storms out with her maid, seamstress, and hairdresser]

Piangi: [to Firmin and Andre] Amateurs!

Carlotta: Bye-bye and ciao! Now you see. Bye-bye, I'm really leaving!

Andre: [singing the Phantom's note to him] Dear Andre, what a charming gala, Christine was in a word sublime. We were hardly bereft when Carlotta left; on that note, the diva's a disaster, must you cast her when she's seasons past her prime?

Firmin: [singing the Phantom's note to him] Dear Firmin, just a brief reminder, my salary has not been paid. Send it care of the Ghost by return of post, P.T.O! No one likes a debtor so it's better if my orders are obeyed.

Andre: [in a note to Raoul from the Phantom] "Do not fear for Miss Daae. The Angel of Music has her under his wing. Make no attempt to see her again."

Andre: Signor, isn't there a rather marvelous aria for Elissa in Act 3 of Hannibal? Perhaps the signora...

Carlotta: Yes, yes, yes, yes. No! Because I have not my costume for Act 3 because somebody not finish it! And... I HATE MY HAT!

Madame Giry: He welcomes you to his opera house...

Firmin: His opera house?

Madame Giry: ...and commands that you continue to leave box 5 empty for his use. And reminds you that his salary is due.

Firmin: His salary?

Madame Giry: Well, Monsieur Lefevre used to give him 20,000 francs a month.

Firmin: [grabs note from Andre] 20,000 francs?

Madame Giry: Perhaps you can afford more? With the Vicomte as your patron?

Firmin: Madame, I had hoped to make that announcement public tonight when the Vicomte was to join us for the gala. But obviously we shall now have to cancel, as it appears we have lost our star. A full house, Andre. We shall have to refund a full house!

Madame Giry: Christine Daae could sing it, sir.

Andre: A chorus girl? Don't be silly.

Firmin, Andre: Who'd believe a diva, happy to relieve a chorus girl who's gone and slept with the patron? Raoul and the soubrette entwined in love's duet, although he may demur, he must have been with her! You'd never get away with all this in a play, but if it's loudly sung and in a foreign tongue, it's just the sort of story audiences adore, in fact a perfect opera!

Andre: Damnable! Will they all walk out? This is damnable!

Firmin: Andre, please don't shout... It's publicity! And the take is vast! Free publicity!

Andre: But we have no cast!

Andre, Firmin: We get our opera, she gets her limelight.

Madame Giry: We take particular pride in the excellence of our ballet, monsieur.

Andre: I see why.

[looking at Meg Giry]

Andre: Especially that little blonde angel!

Madame Giry: My daughter, Meg Giry.

Firmin: [looking at Christine] And THAT exceptional beauty? No relation, I trust?

Madame Giry: Christine Daaé. Promising talent, Monsieur Firmin, very promising.

Andre: Daaé, did you say? N-n-no relation to the famous Swedish violinist?

Madame Giry: His only child. Orphaned at seven, when she came to live and trained in the ballet dormitories.

Firmin: An orphan, you say?

Madame Giry: I think of her as a daughter also.

Madame Giry: [about Christine] Let her sing for you, monsieur; she has been well taught.

Andre: All right. Come on.

[Christine is reluctant]

Andre: Don't be shy. Come on. Come along... just... just...

Reyer: [interrupts] From the beginning of the aria, then. Please, mademoiselle!

Firmin: Andre, this is doing nothing for my nerves.

Andre: Oh, but she's very pretty.

Andre: [trying to convince Carlotta to come back and sing] Your public needs you!

Firmin: We need you, too!

Carlotta: Would you not rather have your precious little ingenue?

Andre, Firmin: Signora, no! The world wants you! Prima donna, first lady of the stage! Your devotees are on their knees to implore you!

Andre: Can you bow out when they're shouting your name?

Firmin: Think of how they all adore you!

Andre, Firmin: Prima donna, enchant us once again!

Andre: Think of your muse...

Firmin: And of the queues round the theatre!

Andre, Firmin: Can you deny us the triumph in store? Sing, prima donna, once more!

Andre: [as Carlotta storms out] What do we do now?

Lefevre: Grovel. Grovel, grovel, grovel.

Julie: Since last summer, I have met five boys.

André: What do you mean you "met" them?

Julie: We'd meet.

André: Where?

Julie: At parties. We kissed.

André: And that's all?

Julie: Yes.

André: On the lips?

Julie: No, Mum was always nearby.

André: Untouched. Thanks to my aunt. But today, she is far away...

André: Doctor Wolff will be working with us. She is from Berlin... from the Charite Hospital, and has decided...

Assistenzärztin Schulze: We have introduced ourselves.

Andre: [convulsing] Help me, mother... my mother, my sister, they are gone... poison... I ain't goin' to heaven. Don't leave me! I ain't goin' to heaven!

Helene: The crypt! It must be destroyed, and with it the dead.

Andre: Don't speak of the dead anymore. You're with me now.

Helene: I am possessed of the dead.

Andre: You're a warm living woman. Who has told you these things?

Helene: The dead.

Andre: That bird! It attacked me!

André: Irene - we can't go on meeting like this.

Kitty Lane: Oh, flatterer. Anything in French is always flattery.

Andre: Oh, no, no! Do I exaggerate? Wasn't her - performance superb? In all the years I never saw so much artistry. So much, em, what do you call in this country? Sex!

Kitty Lane: Shhh. In this country we call sex anything else - but!