Amos Quotes in True Memoirs of an International Assassin (2016)

Amos: I told you the Ghost was not to be shared. This is real life, Samuel. People could get hurt.

Same Larson: You read my book.

Amos: Of course I read the book. I thought we were friends.

Same Larson: I'm really sorry. I changed the details. It was supposed to be fiction.

Jack Shaw: Don't think of it as cheating on your wife. Think of it as... fuckin' for your flag.

Amos: When in doubt, close your eyes and think of England.

Billy Flynn: I don't want ya to give a damn when people...

Amos: When people what?

Billy Flynn: Laugh.

Amos: Laugh? Why would they laugh?

Billy Flynn: 'Cause they can count. Can you count?

Roxie: [singing] I can't stand that sap.

Amos: What a sap I was.

Amos: You know, the closed mind is the worst defense against the paranormal, Kylie. What are you gonna do against a hostile spirit? You just gonna crack jokes?

Kylie Bucknell: No, I am going to smash it in the face.

Amos: You cannot punch ectoplasm.

Amos: Ghosts have a lower body temperature than humans.

Kylie Bucknell: [in funny voice] Do dey?

Amos: The bracelet has a fiber optic cable inside it. So if you try to break it or if you damage it, a tamper signal will be sent out immediately.

Miriam Bucknell: Gosh, that's high-tech, isn't it? Aren't you lucky, Kylie? Having all that fancy technology on your foot. Quite spoilt.

Theodore: It's a piece of cake.

Amos: You mean it ain't gold?

Sheriff McCoy: You're rear end's on fire, Theodore.

Theodore: Oh. Thank you.

[Jumps and frantically slaps fire out; glares at Amos]

Theodore: Why didn't you tell me my rear end was on fire?

Amos: Well, you said not to do anything to attract attention.

Bobby: We want you to have our gold nugget.

Amos: What gold nugget is that?

Bobby: The one you tried to steal.

Amos: Oh, that gold nugget.

Amos: Uh, still aren't mad 'cause I shot you in the leg, are you, Frank?

Amos: I'm gonna buy some new toes.

Amos: Oh lord, another nigger.

Amos: [to Eddie, after hustling him] Hey, I want to ask you something, an' I want you to be real honest. Do you think I need to lose some weight?

Amos: There are no cows. Someone made them up.

Dutch "The Swede" Annacrombie: Oh, I get it!