Alton Quotes in Pawn Shop Chronicles (2013)

Alton: You calling me a racist?

Johnson: Well, you don't like black Santa Claus. And last week, you told me you don't like black porno.

Alton: Now hang on a damn minute. Now that's got nothing to do with racism. I like black chicks in porno movies. I just don't like 'em with the black guys in them, that's all.

Johnson: Why come? They make you feel inadequate?

Alton: No. Because their dicks are so dark. They get to fucking, their dicks get wet, they get glisteny and shit, and it's hard for my eyes to unfocus off it. Make me sick.

Johnson: Eh, well, I guess you got a point.

Alton: Paranoid?

Charlie Reed: Why?

Alton: You look paranoid!

Alton: [tells Charlie to steer clear of Stark] His friends have a habit of going missing

Charlie Reed: You don't have a door knob

Alton: I'll get too it

Alton: You hear me, bitch?

Leigh Anne Touhy: No, you hear me, BITCH!. You threaten my son, you threaten me. You so much as cross into downtown, you will be sorry. I'm in a prayer group with the D.A., I'm a member of the N.R.A. and I'm always packing.

Alton: Whatchu packin? .22? A little Saturday night special?

Leigh Anne Touhy: Yep. And it shoots just fine every other day of the week too.

Alton: This isn't some fucking internet hoax, this is the real deal!