Alonzo Quotes in 102 Dalmatians (2000)

Alonzo: [Cruella starts reacting wildly to seeing spots surrounding her] Ella? Would you be more comfortable in the car?... Ella? Miss. de Vil?

Cruella de Vil: Not Ella. Ella's gone! And Cruella is...

[screams]

Cruella de Vil: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKK!

[Cruella's frenzied scream morphs into a evil cackle as Alonzo gasps/wails noisily with horror]

Cruella de Vil: Alonzo! Find the rat and kill it! Le Pelt and I will be on the Orient Express!

Alonzo: K... k... k... KILL?

Cruella de Vil: The last time I underestimated a puppy, I wound up in the pokey!

Cruella de Vil: Alonso, I need you.

Alonzo: I'm yours.

Cruella de Vil: Banish yourself with a torch, large sack and rubber soled shoes; meanwhile I need a furrier, oh, and I know just where to find him, a-ha ha.

Cruella de Vil: My dalmatian puppy coat. The coat of dreams. The ultimate fur coat, that was denied me by that canine cabal, for which I have lost THREE YEARS OF MY LIFE! Alonso, we're going to make them pay.

Alonzo: Yes. How much?

Cruella de Vil: Dipstick, she called him. What fiendish justice! He escaped me, but I shall wreak my vengeance on the next generation.

Alonzo: Sounds wonderful.

Molly McGrath, Marvel, Trumaine, Peanut, Cerulo, Levander 'Bird' Williams, Krushinski, Phillip Finch, Alonzo: It's the sport of kings, better than diamond rings... football

Jake: [after meeting with the Three Wise Men] How much money was in that bag?

Alonzo: 40 G's.

Jake: What was that for?

Alonzo: You really wanna know?

Jake: Yeah. I asked, didn't I?

Alonzo: Nothing's free in this world, Jake. Not even arrest warrants.

Jake: Shit, I didn't wanna know.

Stan Gursky: [in a steakhouse restaurant] Alonzo, heard you had an expensive weekend in Vegas. How did you ever screw up so bad?

Alonzo: Hey, I didn't know. It's not my town. I'm not omniscient.

Lou Jacobs: The Russians don't care if you have a badge. They'll whack you. You ought to hop a jet out of here.

Alonzo: Why? It's an easy fix. I'll just cash in on an account.

Stan Gursky: Which one?

Alonzo: One of my old ones, my first one. The guy's a high security risk anyway. If I'm not around, who's gonna help keep him off the radar?

Stan Gursky: All right, it's your call. I do not want you to dick this up. I don't want to see you on the front page like the rest of those assholes.

Paul: [in Roger's home] Alonzo, there's two shots left in that other stinger. We need to just kill your boy right now and say Roger got him coming through the door.

Alonzo: We ain't killing nobody. This guy's got the magic eye. I can feel it. Just had a little freak-out, that's all. Now I say he's cool, and nobody's gonna hurt him. But you do have a decision to make, because in about 10 seconds, this whole place is gonna be overrun with blue suits.

[sirens approaching]

Alonzo: So just walk outside and clear your head, or just shoot me.

Jake: [on the way out] Hey, Paul.

[punches Paul]

Paul: [Mark holds him back] You're dead, motherfucker! You hear me?

[shouts]

Paul: You're fuckin' dead!

Alonzo: [while driving in his Monte Carlo] Why do you wanna be a narc?

Jake: I want to protect the streets by ridding it of dangerous drugs.

Alonzo: Yeah, but why do you wanna be a narc?

Jake: I wanna make detective.

Alonzo: There you go. You stick around with me, you'll make it. Unlearn that bullshit they teach you at the Academy. That shit'll get you killed out here.

Jake: I'll do anything you want me to do.

Alonzo: My nigga. Roll that window down first.

[Jake rolls down window]

Alonzo: You gotta see the streets. You gotta feel it. You gotta smell it, you gotta taste the streets. How's your Espanol?

Jake: Uh, más o menos.

Alonzo: Learn that shit, brother. That shit'll get you killed. These motherfuckers out there be plotting all types of shit on you.

Alonzo: [after killing Roger and shooting Jeff] It's not what you know, it's what you can prove. Mark and Paul, you kicked the door down. Jeff's the first one through. Roger hits Jeff twice.

[to Jeff]

Alonzo: What's the matter, one go through?

Tim: Yeah, you shot him.

Jeff: You fucking shot me, man!

Alonzo: Don't worry about it. You'll get a medal.

Jeff: Get me an ambulance!

Alonzo: Hey, hey, hey. You wanna go to jail or you wanna go home? Let me quarterback this thing. Mark, Paul, you kicked the door down. Jeff's the first one through. Roger shoots Jeff twice, bang bang. Our new guy, Hoyt, he's in second. Drops Roger with some fine shotgun work. Now who shot Roger?

Mark: New guy, came in spraying.

Alonzo: Who shot Roger?

Paul: Boot did it.

Alonzo: What did you guys see?

Tim: Hoyt blasted him.

Jeff: Hey, fuck Hoyt, all right? Ambulance time!

Alonzo: Done. Paul, call 'em up.

Paul: 11-49-98 Shots fired. Officer down. Repeat. Officer down. 5951 Baxter Street.

Alonzo: [while driving in his Monte Carlo] Today's a training day, Officer Hoyt. Show you around, give you a taste of the business. I got 38 cases pending trial, 63 in active investigations, another 250 on the log I can't clear. I supervise five officers. That's five different personalities. Five sets of problems. You can be number six if you act now. But I ain't holding no hands, okay? I ain't baby-sitting. You got today and today only to show me who and what you're made of. You don't like narcotics, get the fuck out of my car. Go get you a nice, pussy desk job, chasing bad checks or something, you hear me?

Jake: [observing drug dealers from Alonzo's Monte Carlo] What's here?

Alonzo: Transactions. You see that Salvatrucha zero head sitting on that fence acting like he's not slanging dope? That's my boy. My boy, Neto. The punk's only 17, but he can kill with the best. He's one of mine. He works for me.

Jake: Jesus, he's an informer?

Alonzo: Teammate. I got eyes everywhere. He gets to peddle a little reefer, gets money to take care of the family. He lets me know when big things are going on. Big transactions.

[whispering]

Alonzo: Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Look at that. Sexy ain't it?

Jake: And you trust him?

Alonzo: Damn right I trust him. I sprung his mom from INS detention. Watch this.

[drug deal being made]

Alonzo: You see that hand-to-hand?

Jake: Yeah, I saw it.

Alonzo: When was the last time you did a felony stop?

Jake: Two weeks ago.

Alonzo: Good. You need practice.

Jake: They look like a bunch of college kids.

Alonzo: They'll get their education today. I want the Brady Bunch grabbing glass. I take the front, you take the back.

[Jake picks up radio to call in]

Alonzo: Stay off of the Rover. Let's go.

Alonzo: [after forcefully pressing a pen down Blue's throat causing him to vomit the narcotics he was hiding in his stomach] What's that?

Blue: Motherfucking crack, man.

Alonzo: That's right, Jimmy Crack Corn. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Oh, you're federally fucked now. You got crack... and a gun. You know with your record you can get 10 years per bullet? Now you gon' gimme a name.

[removes bullet]

Alonzo: That's 10 right there.

Blue: Come on, man. You know I ain't no snitch, man.

Alonzo: I know you ain't no snitch. Gimme a name.

[removes bullet]

Alonzo: That's 20.

Blue: Fuck!

Alonzo: Gimme a name.

[removes bullet]

Alonzo: That's 30 years. You wanna go to jail or you wanna go home?

[removes bullet]

Blue: He in the county!

Alonzo: Who?

Blue: Nigga named Sandman. That's all the fuck I know,man! Shit!

Alonzo: See how easy that was?

[removes bullet]

Blue: I'm sick of this shit, man.

Alonzo: You wanna collect the evidence?

Jake: Fuck that.

Alonzo: My nigga.

Alonzo: [on the phone talking to Smiley] Make sure that bathtub is clean, homey.

[Jake gets in car]

Alonzo: It behoves you not to dick around on this one. Justifiable homicide in the line of duty? What happened was...

Jake: What happened was murder... and armed robbery. Wait, we had badges, so it's different?

Alonzo: Open your eyes, son. Can't you see?

Jake: That man was your friend, and you killed him like a fly.

Alonzo: Why is he my friend, because he knows my first name? Roger sold dope to kids. The world is a better place without him. This man was the biggest major violator in Los Angeles. This is the game. I'm playing his ass. That's my job. That's your job. I watched that cocksucker operate with impunity for over 10 years, and now I got him. The shit's chess, it ain't checkers. What, we all of a sudden gonna roll up in a black-and-white? Come on, man, take the money.

Jake: I told you, I'm not gonna take that money.

Alonzo: All right, burn it, barbecue it, fish-fry it, I don't give a fuck. But the boys'll feel better about it.

Jake: Fuck their feelings.

Alonzo: You're not making them feel like you're part of the team.

Jake: The team? You guys are fuckin' insane. All right, I'll go back to the Valley. I'll cut parking tickets. Why does it have to be this way?

Alonzo: I'm sorry I exposed you to it, but it is. It's ugly, but it's necessary... Sometimes you gotta have a little dirt on you for anybody to trust you.

Alonzo: [while meeting on the roof of a parking garage] What's happening? You got the picks and shovels?

Mark: You gonna dig a ditch?

Alonzo: Nope. You are. That's a nice suit.

[to Paul]

Alonzo: What's going on, killer?

Paul: I can't call it. Been hearing some shit out here on these streets. You all right?

Alonzo: Yeah. I talked to the three wise men today. Everything's all good.

Paul: Shit, you say we can get away with it, I'm with you on that.

[points to Jake]

Paul: Who the fuck is this?

Jake: Jake Hoyt. I'm from Valley Patrol. It's my first day.

Paul: You a long way from Starbucks homey.

[to Alonzo]

Paul: Yo, why the fuck is he in on this?

Alonzo: Gotta get his cherry popped sometime.

Paul: [to Jake] Yo, stay the fuck outta my way. Just for the big dogs, you feel me?

Alonzo: All right. Here's the warrant signed and sealed by the judge, thanks to the Sandman. Alright, now listen up; Safety is first. He gives us shit - Boom! We're giving him lead. Let's do this right so we can all go home and do the wife or the girlfriend thing, alright? Let's suit up, ladies. Time to punch in.

Alonzo: [bruised and bloodied, and turns his head back to see Jake pointing a gun at him while dragging away from him with a lit cigarette in his mouth] , you gonna bust your cherry killing a cop? You know what you get for that, Jake? The gas chamber. You know what the gas chamber smells like? Pine oil. I'ma send you to a pine oil heaven. I'ma get that gun and I'ma get that gun and I'm going to get that money, and your not going to shit because you're not going to shoot a cop in the back.

Alonzo: Throw this motherfucker out with the rest of the shit!

Alonzo: You ever loved a girl?

Tortuga: I ain't got no money for that, man!