Alky Briggs Quotes in Monkey Business (1931)

Alky Briggs: Okay, he's in there. When he comes out, plug him.

Zeppo: What do we plug him with?

Alky Briggs: [referring to guns] Didn't I give you two "gats"?

Groucho: We had to drown the "gats", but we saved you a little black "gitten".

Alky Briggs: Come out of there. I want to talk to you.

Groucho: I'm sorry, but we're using the old-fashioned Ice Man and we find him very satisfactory for keeping the house warm.

Groucho: I'd like to ask you one question.

Alky Briggs: Go ahead.

Groucho: Do you think that girls think less of a boy if he lets himself be kissed? I mean, eh, don't you think that although girls go out with boys like me they - they always marry the other kind?

[Smiles, raises eyebrows three times]

Alky Briggs: Oh, I see, the stowaways. Say, I can help you bozos.

Groucho: Mr. Bozo, to you.

Alky Briggs: Alright, Mr. Bozo.

Alky Briggs: I'm stepping into your shoes - as boss.

Joe Helton: I'm not backin' up any small time chiseler.

Alky Briggs: Ah, don't put on the ritz with me.

Joe Helton: Say, don't get cocky with me, Briggs!

Alky Briggs: I'm talkin' turkey. You can't make all the dough and then run out on your pals.

Joe Helton: I'm not takin' orders from a mug like you! Scram!

Lucille: So, here you are! Loafing around with these tramps!

Alky Briggs: I tell ya, I come down to see Joe Helton.

Zeppo: Don't you think we better go?

Groucho: What? And leave this woman here alone with her husband? Suppose her sweetheart came in?

Lucille: Now, listen to me, Mr. Alky Briggs. You can't keep me cooped up like this. I've played second fiddle on this ship long enough!

Alky Briggs: Now, you listen. I'm not after any dames. I'm after Joe Helton, I tell ya. And he can't get away from me on this boat.