Alison Scott Quotes in Knocked Up (2007)

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Alison Scott Quotes:

  • Ben Stone: Do you want to do it doggie style?

    Alison Scott: You're not going to fuck me like a dog.

    Ben Stone: It's doggie style. It's just the style. We don't have to go outside or anything.

  • Jack: ...there's gonna be some things that you are going to be able to get, that other people in the office don't get... one of them: Gym membership.

    Alison Scott: You want me to lose weight?

    Jack: [laughing] No, I don't want you to lose weight!

    Jill: No, uh, we can't legally ask you to do that.

    Jack: We didn't say lose weight... I might say tighten.

    Alison Scott: Tight?

    Jack: Tighter.

    Jill: Just liked toned and smaller.

    Jack: Don't make everything smaller, I don't wanna generalize that way... tighter.

    Jill: We don't want you to lose weight, we just want you to be healthy. Y'know, by eating less.

    Alison Scott: OK.

    Jill: We would just like it if you go home and step on the scale, and write down how much you weigh, and subtract it by like, 20.

    Alison Scott: 20.

    Jill: And then weigh that much.

  • Jack: We decided that, we want you to be on camera.

    Alison Scott: Oh my god, really?

    Jill: I know, I was so surprised too.

  • Alison Scott: I was drunk!

    Ben Stone: Was your vagina drunk?

  • Alison Scott: I'm pregnant.

    Ben Stone: Fuck off!

    Alison Scott: What?

    Ben Stone: What?

  • Alison Scott: I'm pregnant.

    Ben Stone: Pregnant... with emotion?

    Alison Scott: Pregnant with a baby.

  • Alison Scott: Why don't you go fuck your fucking bong you fuck!

    Ben Stone: I will! I'll do it doggy style, too! For once!

  • Ben Stone: You know, the best thing for a hangover is weed. Do you smoke weed?

    Alison Scott: Not really.

    Ben Stone: You don't?

    Alison Scott: No.

    Ben Stone: At all?

    Alison Scott: Uh-uh.

    Ben Stone: Like... in the morning?

    Alison Scott: No... I just... don't.

    Ben Stone: It is, like, the best medicine. 'Cause it fixes everything. Jonah broke his elbow once. We just... got high and... it still clicks but, I mean, he's ok.

  • Alison Scott: I'm sorry I told you to fuck your bong.

    Ben Stone: It's okay... I didn't...

  • Alison Scott: [to Debbie] What do you think? He's funny, right?

    Ben Stone: [to Debbie's kids] Fetch!

    Debbie: [to Alison] He's playing fetch... with my kids... he's treating my kids like they're dogs.

  • Alison Scott: I love your curly hair! It's great... do you use product or anything?

    Ben Stone: No... I use, uh, jew it's called.

  • Ben Stone: What time is it?

    Alison Scott: 7:30

    Ben Stone: Why the fuck are we awake? Let's go back to sleep.

    Alison Scott: I have to go to work.

    Ben Stone: Really?

    Alison Scott: Uh, do you need to... get to work or anything?

    Ben Stone: No, I'm uh... no work today hahahaha.

  • Alison Scott: I'm actually doing my first on-air interview today.

    Ben Stone: With who?

    Alison Scott: Uh, Matthew Fox.

    Ben Stone: Matthew Fox from Lost?

    Alison Scott: Yeah.

    Ben Stone: You know what's interesting about him?

    Alison Scott: What?

    Ben Stone: Nothing!

  • Alison Scott: I hope your apartment's big enough for the three of us.

    Ben Stone: Oh it definitely is. That's why I got one in East LA. The rent, it's HUGE. The only thing is we have to decide if we're gonna be Crips or Bloods before we get there.

    Alison Scott: Well, I look good in red.

    Ben Stone: I look good in blue... The fighting continues.

  • Ben Stone: [to Alison] I'm sorry I'm sweating on you...

    Alison Scott: Okay, just stop talking.

  • Ben Stone: [laughing while Pete and Debbie are fighting several feet away] That guy said 'Don't let the door hit your vagina on the way out!'

    Alison Scott: I heard him.

  • Ben Stone: Our baby is going to be French Canadian.

    Alison Scott: And a little bit Spanish...?

    Ben Stone: Yeah, I'm not very good with accents.

  • Alison Scott: Hey...

    Ben Stone: I'm naked.

    Alison Scott: Yeah.

    Ben Stone: [whispers] Did we have sex?

    Alison Scott: Yes.

    Ben Stone: Nice.

  • Alison Scott: [discussing her pregnancy with her mother] I don't have to tell them right away, I'm only gonna start to show when I'm like, I don't know, 6 months or something like that.

    Alison's Mom: 3 months.

    Alison Scott: No way.

    Alison's Mom: Fat in the face, jowls, fat ass.

    Alison Scott: Debbie didn't get fat.

    Alison's Mom: Debbie is a freak of nature.

  • Alison Scott: Is she camera ready ?

  • Dr. Kuni: Do you smoke?

    Alison Scott: No.

    Dr. Kuni: Do, you, smoke?

  • Jill: [walking past Alison] Hey, Alison, great job.

    Alison Scott: Oh, thanks!

    Jill: [walking away] ... for you...

  • Alison Scott: Why don't you go FUCK your FUCKING Bong?

    Ben Stone: I will! I'll do it doggy style, too! For once!

  • Alison Scott: Just do it!

Browse more character quotes from Knocked Up (2007)

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