Alexander Dyle Quotes in Charade (1963)

Alexander Dyle: All right, get set for the story of my life.

Reggie Lampert: Fiction or non-fiction?

Alexander Dyle: What do I have to do to satisfy you? Become the next victim?

Reggie Lampert: That's a start anyway.

Reggie Lampert: [pondering] Is there a Mrs. Dyle?

Alexander Dyle: Yes...

[Reggie's face drops]

Alexander Dyle: but we're divorced!

Reggie Lampert: [Reggie smirks] I thought that was Peter Joshua?

Alexander Dyle: I am just as difficult to live with as he was.

Herman Scobie: Now we wait. With our mouths shut.

Alexander Dyle: [yawns] Sorry about that.

Reggie Lampert: Come in. I've got something that stings like crazy.

Alexander Dyle: You're the kind of girl who'd have something like that.

[after Dyle sees Herman Scobie hanging from the edge of the building]

Alexander Dyle: How are you doing?

Herman Scobie: HOW DO YOU THINK?

Alexander Dyle: If you get bored, try writing 'Love Thy Neighbor' a hundred times on the side of the building!

Alexander Dyle: [Reggie is sitting on his lap and kissing him] Reggie, cut it out.

Reggie Lampert: OK.

[stops kissing him]

Alexander Dyle: Well now what are you doing?

Reggie Lampert: Cutting it out.

Alexander Dyle: Who told you to do that?

Reggie Lampert: You did.

Alexander Dyle: Oh I'm not through protesting yet.

Reggie Lampert: [smirks] Oh.

[resumes kissing him]

Alexander Dyle: Cut it out.

Reggie Lampert: Alex, I think I love you.

[They kiss]

Reggie Lampert: Hello, Mr. Dyle.

Alexander Dyle: Reggie?

Reggie Lampert: Well, that's the only name I've got.

Reggie Lampert: Are you really Carson Dyle's brother?

Alexander Dyle: Would you like to see my passport?

Reggie Lampert: Passport? What kind of proof is that?

Alexander Dyle: Well, would you like to see where I was tattooed?

Reggie Lampert: Yes.

Alexander Dyle: All right. We'll drive around that way.

Reggie Lampert: [groans]

Reggie Lampert: Alex, how can you tell if anyone's lying or not?

Alexander Dyle: You can't.

Reggie Lampert: There must be some way.

Alexander Dyle: No, no. There's an old riddle about two tribes of Indians. The Whitefeet always tell the truth, and the Blackfeet always lie. So one day you meet an Indian. You say, "Hey, Indian, what are you, a truthful Whitefoot or a lying Blackfoot? He says, "I'm a truthful Whitefoot." But which is he?

Reggie Lampert: Well, why couldn't you just look at his feet?

Alexander Dyle: Because he's wearing moccasins.

Reggie Lampert: Well, then he's a truthful Whitefoot, of course.

Alexander Dyle: Well, why not a lying Blackfoot?

Reggie Lampert: Which one are you?

Alexander Dyle: A truthful Whitefoot.