Alex the Lion Quotes in Madagascar (2005)


Alex the Lion Quotes:

  • [Marty the Zebra and Alex the Lion running towards each other on the beach in slow motion with arms outstretched and Chariots of Fire music]

    Alex the Lion: Marty!

    Marty the Zebra: Alex!

    Alex the Lion: Marty!

    Marty the Zebra: Alex!

    Alex the Lion: Marty!

    Marty the Zebra: Alex!

    Alex the Lion: [angrily] Marty!

    Marty the Zebra: [afraid] Alex?

    Alex the Lion: [real-time] Marty!

    Marty the Zebra: Oh, Sugar Honey Ice Tea!

  • Alex the Lion: Did he just say "Grand Central Station," or "My aunt's constipation"?

  • Alex the Lion: 27, 28, 29, 30. Hmm, 30 black and only 29 white, looks like you're black with white stripes after all. Dilemma solved. Good night!

  • Alex the Lion: [talking in his sleep] Come on now, baby. My little filet. My little filet mignon with a little fat around the edges. I like that. I like a little fat on my steak. My sweet, juicy steak. You are a rare delicacy.

  • Alex the Lion: [shouts] You maniac! You burned it up! Darn you! Darn you all to heck!

    Melman the Giraffe: Can we go to the fun side now?

  • Alex the Lion: Today was a great day. It just doesn't get any better than this, you know? Oh, look, it just did. Even the star is out. You won't find a star like that in the wild.

    Marty the Zebra: Helicopter.

  • Alex the Lion: Be sure to visit my web site. 24-hour webcam. Watch me sleep.

  • Alex the Lion: Come on! What does Connecticut have to offer us?

    Melman the Giraffe: Lyme disease.

    Alex the Lion: Thank you, Melman.

  • Alex the Lion: They should call it the San Di-lame-o Zoo. First they tell you, "Hey, we got this great open plan, where animals can run wild." Next thing you know, you have flowers in your hair, and everybody's hugging everybody.

  • Alex the Lion: Whoa! Hold up there a second, fuzzbucket. You mean like, uh, the "live in a mud hut, wipe yourself with a leaf" type wild?

    Julian: Who wipes?

    Gloria the Hippo: Oy vey.

    Julian: Oy vey!

    Maurice: Oy vey, everybody!

    [Lemurs Shout "Oy vey"]

  • Marty the Zebra: Did you ever think that there might be more to live than steak, Alex?

    Alex the Lion: [to his steak] He didn't mean that, baby. No, no, no.

  • Alex the Lion: I'm swimming back to New York! I know my chances are slim, but I have to try!

    Gloria the Hippo: Alex, you can't swim!

    Alex the Lion: I said my chances are slim!

  • Alex the Lion: That is your side of the island, and this is our side of the island. That is the bad side, where you can skip and prance around like a magical pixie horse, and do whatever the heck you wanna do all day long. This is the good side, for those who love New York and care about getting back.

  • Julian: After much deep and profound brain things inside my head, I have decided to thank you for bringing peace to our home. And to make you feel good, I'm going to give you this lovely parting gift.

    [presents Alex with his crown]

    Alex the Lion: No, I couldn't. Really, I can't take your crown.

    Julian: Oh, that's OK. I've got a bigger crown. It's got a gecko on it. Look at him shake! Go, Stevie, go!

  • [first lines]

    Alex the Lion: Surprise!

    Marty the Zebra: Aaahhh! Alex! Do not interrupt me when I'm daydreaming. When a zebra's in the zone, leave him alone.

  • [singing]

    Alex the Lion: Happy...

    Gloria the Hippo: Birth...

    Melman the Giraffe: Day...

    Alex the Lion: To...

    Gloria the Hippo: You...

    Alex the Lion: You...

    Melman the Giraffe: Live...

    Gloria the Hippo: In...

    Alex the Lion: A zoo...

    Gloria the Hippo: You...

    Melman the Giraffe: Look...

    Alex the Lion: Like a monkey...

    Melman the Giraffe: And...

    Alex the Lion: You smell...

    Gloria the Hippo: Like...

    [all together]

    Alex the LionMelman the GiraffeGloria the Hippo: One too!

  • Marty the Zebra: Who is it?

    Alex the Lion: It's the pizza man. Who the heck do you think it is?

  • Marty the Zebra: Come on, Alex. Do you honestly think I intended all of this to happen? You want me to say I'm sorry? Is that what you want? Okay, I'm so...

    Alex the Lion: Shush!

    Marty the Zebra: He just shushed me.

    Gloria the Hippo: Look, Alex, you have to be more understanding...

    Alex the Lion: Shush!

    Gloria the Hippo: Don't you shush me!

    Alex the Lion: Do you hear that? Can't you hear that?

  • Marty the Zebra: You guys look hungry. How would you like some of nature's goodness?

    Gloria the Hippo: You have food?

    Marty the Zebra: One Fun Side special, coming up. Seaweed on a stick.

    Alex the Lion: Seaweed?

    Marty the Zebra: On a stick. Don't love it 'till you try it.

  • Gloria the Hippo: Melman! Are you okay?

    Melman the Giraffe: Yeah. I often doze off while I'm getting an MRI.

    Alex the Lion: Melman, you're not getting an MRI.

    Melman the Giraffe: CAT scan?

    Alex the Lion: No! No CAT scan! It's a transfer! It's a zoo transfer!

    Melman the Giraffe: Zoo transfer? Oh, no. No, no. I can't be transferred. I have an appointment with Dr. Goldberg at five. There are prescriptions that have to be filled! No other zoo can afford my medical care! And I am NOT going HMO!

    Marty the Zebra: Take it easy, Melman. We are gonna be o-kizzay.

    Alex the Lion: No, we're not gonna be o-kizzay! Because of you, we're ruined!

  • Alex the Lion: Come on! Melman, Melman, Melman! Melman, Melman, Melman! Wake up! Rise and shine! It's another fabulous day in the Big Apple. Let's go.

    Melman the Giraffe: Not for me. I'm calling in sick.

    Alex the Lion: What?

    Melman the Giraffe: I found a bro... another brown spot on my shoulder, right here. See? Right th... right there. You see?

    Alex the Lion: Melman, you know it's all in your head. Hm?

  • Marty the Zebra: [about King Julian] He's got style.

    Alex the Lion: What is he, like, king of the guinea pigs?

    Melman the Giraffe: I think it's a squirrel.

    Julian: Welcome, giant pansies. Please feel free to bask in my glow.

    Alex the Lion: Definitely a squirrel.

    Melman the Giraffe: Yep, a squirrel.

  • Alex the Lion: [exhausted from running and calling all night] Marty, Melman, Gloria. Gloria, Melman, Marty. Marty, Gelman, Gloria, Marty, Melman, Morty, Morty, Gelman, Regis, Kelly. Matt, Katie, Al.

  • Julian: Where are you giants from?

    Alex the Lion: We're from New York.

    Julian: All hail the New York Giants!

  • Alex the Lion: Shut up Spalding!

  • Alex the Lion: [to Marty] You know your black and white stripes? They cancel each other out!

  • Alex the Lion: How's the liberty fire going, Melman?

    Melman the Giraffe: Great.

    [in hushed voice]

    Melman the Giraffe: Idiot.

    Alex the Lion: I heard that.

  • Gloria the Hippo: Does anyone else feel nauseous?

    Melman the Giraffe: I feel nauseous.

    Alex the Lion: Melman, you always feel nauseous.

  • Alex the Lion: Come on, look at this. you won't fine any of this in the wild. This is the kind of refined, food-type thing that you do not find in the wild.

  • Julian: Wait! I have a plan.

    Maurice: Really?

    Julian: I have devised a cunning test to see whether these are savage killers.

    [Julian kicks Mort out in the open]

    Marty the Zebra: Hi there!

    Alex the Lion: No, I will handle this. Alex handles it. Marty says nothing.

    [approaches the frightened Mort]

    Alex the Lion: Hi there!

    [Mort starts to cry]

    Alex the Lion: Oh, geez!

    Melman the Giraffe: Oh, Alex. What did you do?

    Alex the Lion: No, it's okay, it's okay. I'm just a silly, just a silly lion.

    [Mort cries louder]

    Alex the Lion: Oh, jeez!

  • Alex the Lion: Ten years old, huh? A decade. Double digits. The big one-O.

  • [on the subway, Alex roars at a guy hiding behind a newspaper]

    Alex the Lion: Augh! Knicks lost again!

    Melman the Giraffe: Eh. Whatcha gonna do?

    Train conductor: [over PA] Grand Central Station.

    Alex the Lion: Did he just say "Grand Central Station," or "My aunt's constipation"?

  • Alex the Lion: The wild? Are you nuts? That is the worst idea I have ever heard!

    Melman the Giraffe: It's unsanitary!

    Marty the Zebra: The penguins are going, so why can't I?

    Alex the Lion: The penguins are psychotic!

  • Alex the Lion: Here come the people, Marty! Oh, I love the people! It's fun people fun time!

  • Alex the Lion: I feel like a mile-high, pastrami on rye, on the fly from the deli in the sky!

  • Alex the Lion: Lady! What is wrong with you? Get a grip on yourself!

  • Marty the Zebra: Here, have a drink.

    Alex the Lion: [Spits it out] This is sea water!

    Marty the Zebra: [Spits out his drink] Oh, you don't swallow it. This is just temporary until the plumbing comes in.

  • Marty the Zebra: You the cat.

    Alex the Lion: Who's the cat?

    Marty the Zebra: You the cat.

    Alex the Lion: Who's the cat?

    Marty the Zebra: You the cat.

    Alex the Lion: Who's the cat?

    Marty the Zebra: You the cat.

    Alex the Lion: Who's the cat?

    Marty the Zebra: You the cat.

    Alex the Lion: Who's the cat?

  • Alex the Lion: Oh, great! San Diego. That means I have to compete with Shamu and his smug little grin. I can't top that! Can't top it!

  • Melman the Giraffe: Hey, Alex. Psst, Alex. Alex.

    Alex the Lion: What is it, Melman?

    Melman the Giraffe: OK, you know how I have to get up every two hours because of my bladder infection? Well, I get up to pee, and I was walking past Marty's pen, and usually I dont look in it, but this time I was walkin' past, and I?

    Alex the Lion: What, Melman? What is it?

    Melman the Giraffe: It's Marty... He's gone!

    Alex the Lion: He's what?

    Melman the Giraffe: [looks at hole in ground the penguins have dug] How long has he been working on this?

    Melman the Giraffe: [shouts gently down hole] Marty. Marty!

  • Gloria the Hippo: Go talk to him, you know, go over and give him a little pep talk.

    Alex the Lion: Hey, I gave him a snow globe! I can't beat that!

  • Alex the Lion: Well, I say we just ask these bozos where the people are.

    Julian: [from the ground underneath Alex] Excuse me. We bozos have the people of course!

    Melman the Giraffe: Hey, the bozos have the people.

    Alex the Lion: Oh, well, great. Good. Phew!

    Julian: They're up there.

    [points up at skeletons dangling from tree, wearing a parachute harness]

    Julian: Don't you love the people? Not a very lively bunch, though.

    Alex the Lion: Oh... wow... so, do you have any *live* people?

    Julian: Uhh... no, only dead ones.

    Maurice: I mean, if we had a bunch of live people running around, it wouldn't be called the wild, would it?

  • Alex the Lion: I defy any rescue boat within a million miles to miss this baby. When the moment is right, we will ignite the beacon of liberty and be rescued from this awful nightmare!

  • Marty the Zebra: Okay! You all have your side, and I'll have mine. And, if you need me, I'll be over here! On the FUN side of the island, havin' a good ol' time. A great ol' time! A GREAT ol' time. A yabba-dabba-doo ol' time! WILMA!

    Alex the Lion: That's not the fun side. THIS is the fun side! This is the fun side where we're gonna have a great time surviving until we go home! Whoo! I love this side; this side's the best! That side STINKS! You're on the JERSEY side of this cesspool!

    Melman the Giraffe: Well, now what do we do?

    Alex the Lion: Don't worry Melman, I have a plan to get us rescued.

  • Alex the Lion: You know, by the time we get back to New York, it'll be the middle of winter. So I was thinking, why rush? Maybe we could make a few sidestops along the way.

    Marty the Zebra: How about Paris?

    Gloria the Hippo: Ooh, you've read my mind.

    Alex the Lion: I was thinking Spain.

    Marty the Zebra: Yeah. A little running with the bulls.

    Gloria the Hippo: How about Fiji?

    Melman the Giraffe: Or Canada? Can't we? Cheap meds. Huh?

  • Marty the Zebra: Hey, have a drink. It's on the house.

    Alex the Lion: [drinks water then spits it out] This is seawater!

    Marty the Zebra: Oh, you don't swallow it.


    Marty the Zebra: It's just temporary 'til the plumbing's done.

  • Alex the Lion: Have to get an early start for tomorrow. It's Senior day. Gotta roar extra loud. Give'em a little jolt. Know what I'm talking about?

  • Alex the Lion: I'm gonna kill you, Marty!

    Marty the Zebra: Take it easy! Take it easy!

    Alex the Lion: And strangle you!

    Marty the Zebra: Calm down!

    Alex the Lion: Then I'm gonna bury you, then dig you up and clone you, and kill all your clones!

    Marty the Zebra: 20-second time-out!

    Alex the Lion: And then I'm never talking to you again!

  • Marty the Zebra: You're biting my butt!

    Alex the Lion: [with Marty's butt in his mouth] No, I'm not.

  • [Maurice just told Marty that he was steak]

    Marty the Zebra: Oh, c'mon! Do I look like a steak to you?

    Alex the Lion: Yeah!

    Marty the Zebra: See I told you I don't look like no... wait, what'd you say?

  • Alex the Lion: Can't catch the cat! Cat's too quick!

  • Alex the Lion: Don't worry, everything's under control. We just had a little situation here. Just a little internal situation. Our friend just went a little crazy. Happens to everybody. The city gets to us all. Just went a little cuckoo in the head.

    Marty the Zebra: Don't you be calling me cuckoo in the head!

  • Alex the Lion: Fear me! Savagery beyond comprehension!

  • Alex the Lion: Giraffe! Corner pocket!

  • [repeated line]

    Alex the Lion: Who's the cat?

  • Alex the Lion: What do you think? Pretty cool, huh?

  • Alex the Lion: She is finito!

  • Gloria the Hippo: Lets, go. Make a wish babycakes.

    [Marty blows out the candle and eats a chunk out of his birthday cake]

    Alex the Lion: Come on, what you wish for?

    Marty the Zebra: Nope! Can't tell you that.

    Alex the Lion: Come on, tell.

    Alex the Lion: No siree. I'm telling you'a, its bad luck. You want some bad luck, I'll blab it out, But if you want to be safe, I'll keep my mouth shut.

    Gloria the Hippo: [interrupting] Could you just tell us? I mean, really. What could happen?

    Marty the Zebra: Okay. I wish I could go... To the wild!

    Alex the Lion: The wild?

    [After Marty says this, Alex falls off the wall, Melman chokes himself and Gloria opens her mouth in shock]

    Marty the Zebra: I told you it was bad luck.

    [Gloria tries to stop Melman from choking]

    Alex the Lion: The wild? Are you nuts? That is the worst ideal I've ever heard.

    [Melman spits out what was choking him]

    Melman the Giraffe: It's unsanitary.

    Marty the Zebra: The penguins are going. So why can't I?

    Alex the Lion: The penguins are psychotic.

    Marty the Zebra: Come on, Just imagine going back to nature. Back to your roots, clean air, wide-open spaces!

    Gloria the Hippo: Well, I hear they have wide-open spaces in Connecticut.

    Marty the Zebra: Connecticut?

    Melman the Giraffe: Yeah. What you gotta do is you go over to Grand Central, and then you gotta take the Metro-North Tran... North?

    Marty the Zebra: So one could take the train? Just Hypothetically.

    Alex the Lion: Marty, come on. What would Connecticut have to offer us?

    Melman the Giraffe: Lyme disease.

    Alex the Lion: Thank you Melman.

    Marty the Zebra: No, no really, really. I just want...

    Alex the Lion: There's certainly none of this in the wild

    [Waves a steak at Marty]

    Marty the Zebra: But... but... but...

    Alex the Lion: This is a highly refined type of food thing. That you do not find in the wild.

Browse more character quotes from Madagascar (2005)