Alex Stone Quotes in Major Payne (1995)

Major Payne: Boy, I am two seconds from being on you like white on rice in a glass of milk on a paper plate in a snowstorm. I'm gonna put my foot so far up your ass, the water on my knee will quench your thirst.

Alex Stone: Try it.

Heathcoat: Why do I have to wear the dress?

Alex Stone: Because you are the one with the biggest tits!

[laughter]

Heathcoat: SHUT UP!

Cadet Dotson: Let's go, let's go, giddyup, let's ride!

[Makes whipcrack noise]

Alex Stone: What happened to knocking first, Dotson?

Cadet Dotson: You assholes don't need to worry about that.

Woliger: [Sees that Alex is putting on his dress blues] Where are you going?

Alex Stone: To the games. You guys better get ready - we gotta be there in an hour.

Woliger: Alex... we don't have a chance without Payne.

Alex Stone: Listen - Payne or no *Payne,* I'm gonna go out there and get that *stupid* trophy. We busted our asses off out there! Now, I didn't go through all that to come out empty handed.