Alex Rogan Quotes in The Last Starfighter (1984)

Grig: Remember, Death Blossom delivers only one massive volley at close range... theoretically.

Alex Rogan: What do you mean, "theoretically"?

Grig: After all, D.B. has never been tested. It might overload the systems, blow up the ship!

Alex Rogan: What are you worried about, Grig? Theoretically, we should already be dead!

Centauri: Alex! Alex! You're walking away from history! *History*! Did Chris Columbus say he wanted to stay home? Nooooo. What if the Wright Brothers thought that only birds should fly? And did Galoka think the Ulus were too ugly to save?

Alex Rogan: Who's Galoka?

Centauri: [beat] Never mind.

Alex Rogan: Listen, Centauri, I'm not any of those guys. I'm a kid from a trailer park.

Centauri: If that's what you think, then that's all you'll ever be!

Alex Rogan: Wait a minute... when did the hangar go up?

Grig: I told you! When Xur attacked!

Alex Rogan: And where were the Starfighters?

Grig: In the hangar!

Alex Rogan: You mean they're dead?

Grig: [scoffs] Death is a primitive concept. I prefer to think of them as battling evil in another dimension.

Alex Rogan: In another dimension? How many are left?

Grig: Including yourself?

Alex Rogan: Yeah.

Grig: One!

Alex Rogan: *One*?

[the Gunstar takes off with its attendant noise drowning out Alex's protests]

Alex Rogan: Otis, I just never have a chance to have a good time around here.

Otis: Things change. Always do. You'll get your chance! Important thing is, when it comes, you've got to grab with both hands, and hold on tight!

Grig: [watching Alex struggling with the gunnery chair] Steady. Don't fight the chair. Take your time. Watch your gun sight. Lead your targets. And above all, relax!

Alex Rogan: [stops to take off his gloves, then continues] Terrific. I'm about to get killed a million miles from nowhere with a gung-ho iguana who tells me to relax.

Grig: [looking at battle plans] The Armada will break through the Frontier here, and reach Rylos in about 20 clicks. Squadrons of deck fighters will precede the mothership.

Alex Rogan: Squadrons? How many squadrons?

Grig: It isn't the number of squadrons that concerns me, it's this communication turret that sends out the commands to the deck fighters, which enables them to act as one during the fight.

Alex Rogan: Wait a second. We knock out the turret to get the fighters. But to get the turret, we gotta get *through* the fighters. We're dead!

Grig: I'll have it all figured out by the time we reach the Frontier.

[alarm sounds; Grig's face falls]

Alex Rogan: What's that?

Grig: The Frontier.

Alex Rogan: [to an alien] I'm sorry, it was an accident. I didn't mean to step on you, uh, whatever that is.

Alex Rogan: Hold it! There's no fleet? No Starfighters, no plan? One ship, you, me, and that's it?

Grig: Exactly! Xur thinks you're still on Earth. Classic military strategy, surprise attack.

Alex Rogan: It'll be a slaughter!

Grig: That's the spirit!

Alex Rogan: No, *my* slaughter! One ship against the whole Armada?

Grig: Yes, one Gunstar against the Armada. I've always wanted to fight a desperate battle against incredible odds.

Alex Rogan: Centauri! I thought you were dead.

Centauri: Me, die? And miss all the excitement? Ha-ha, no. I was merely dormant while my body repaired itself. Ah well, enough with the details. Suffice it to say, you're on Rylos, my boy. Stop thinking human, that's lesson number one. Lesson number two...

[leans in]

Centauri: You've got a good thing going here. Keep smiling, don't blow it. Lesson number three: Always trust Centauri...

Centauri: The amusing thing about this, it's all a big mistake. *That* particular Starfighter game was supposed to be delivered to Vegas, not some flea-speck trailer park in the middle of tumbleweeds and tarantulas. So it must be fate, destiny, blind chance, luck even, that brings us together. And as the poet said, "the rest is history".

Alex Rogan: Where are you going? Where are you taking me?

Centauri: I told you, I want to save it for a surprise. Hey, are you the kind of kid who reads the last page of a mystery first? Who pesters the magician to tell you his tricks? Who sneaks downstairs to peek at his Christmas presents? Noooo, of course you're not.

[singsong voice]

Centauri: That's why I'm not gonna tell you!

Alex Rogan: Oh, God.

Centauri: Besides, I just love surprises, don't you?

Alex Rogan: [approaching Gunstar 1] Is this *my* Gunstar?

Grig: This is a prototype, different from the other ships. She has greater range, more power, and a slight weapons modification. Of course, she features deflective plating, so she can withstand several direct hits.

[sits in Navigation Chair]

Grig: From here, this is where I navigate the ship, maintain life support and propulsion systems.

Alex Rogan: ...ok. So where do I sit?

Grig: Way up there, in the Gunnery Chair.

[Alex gets on the lift]

Grig: Hang on.

Alex Rogan: Ok.

[hangs on]

Grig: Now, climb into the Gunnery Chair.

[Alex complies, Grig punches a few buttons]

Grig: Now, I'm moving you into launching position. There in front of you are the 2 switches to your heads-up display. Turn them on.

[display turns on]

Grig: While you're engaging the enemy, the screen with reflect all battle instruments towards you.

Alex Rogan: [Alex shifts, cross hair in display disappears] Hey, where did it go?

Grig: It's still there. Suspended in a Xenon mist, but it's only visible if you look dead ahead.

Alex Rogan: [shifts back, cross hair returns] Ah, got it.

Grig: The lever on your left is the Chair Control. As you can see, all weapons track with your every move.

[Alex grabs the lever, is startled when it starts to move with him. Grig laughs, chair stops]

Grig: Grasp the Targeting Control with your right hand. At your fingers is the Weaponry: the Lasers, Photon missiles...

Alex Rogan: ...and the Particle Beams.

[smiles]

Alex Rogan: Hey wait, this is like back home!

[notices a red and white striped panel and touches it]

Alex Rogan: But, what's this?

Grig: Careful! CAREFUL! That's Death Blossom, a weapon of last resort! Luckily, I was in here working on it when the hangar went up.

[Alex looks concerned at hearing this]

Grig: Now are you ready? All systems, Go! IGNITION!

[Gunstar 1 begins launch sequence]

Rylan Bursar: Return the money, Centauri.

Centauri: Return the money? Are you delirious? Do you know how long it took to invent the games? To merchandise them? To get them in the stores by Christmas?

Grig: It must be terribly embarrassing for you and I do sympathize, however...

Centauri: But I saw him fight! He could be the greatest Starfighter ever!

Alex Rogan: That was just a game, Centauri!

Centauri: A game! Well, you may thought it was a game, but it was also a test. Aha, a test. Sent out across the universe to find those with the gift to be Starfighters. And here you are, my boy! Here you are!

Alex Rogan: Right, here I am, about to be killed

Centauri: Killed! You don't seriously think it's dangerous, do you? Don't be silly! Trust me!

Alex Rogan: Store's closed, mister.

Centauri: I'm not here for cigarettes or bubble gum, my boy. Can you tell me the name of the person who broke the record on that game over there, and where I might find him?

Alex Rogan: Alex Rogan, and you're looking at him.

Centauri: Alex Rogan. Ha ha ha!

Alex Rogan: Who are you?

Centauri: Centauri's the name. I invented Starfighter, which is why I'm here.

Alex Rogan: It is?

Centauri: It is. We have to talk about a matter of utmost importance. Step into my office.

[gestures toward the back seat of his car]

Centauri: Step into my office.

Rylan Bursar: [disgustedly] Rrrr... E sanchay!

Centauri: E sanchay? Onee mat swella! Preeta! Preeta!

Alex Rogan: Centauri, what's going on here?

Centauri: He's just saying how delighted he is that you're here, and if there's anything he can do make your stay more enjoyable, just give him a ring.

Alex Rogan: My stay! What are you talking about? Where are we?

Centauri: Welcome to Rylos, my boy!

Alex Rogan: Rylos! Wait a min-... you mean, you mean... like the game?

Centauri: Oh, he's quick! He's quick! He's very quick! He's speechless! So long, Alex! Have fun! May the luck of the Seven Pillars of Gulu be with you at all times!

[muttering]

Centauri: Oh, someday these cheapskates will thank Centauri, trust me.

Beta: Wait a minute, what are you doing back?

Alex Rogan: Are you kidding? It's war up there!

Beta: Oh, save the whales, but not the universe, huh?

Beta: Good luck, Alex.

Alex Rogan: You too... Alex.

Alex Rogan: Maybe there is a Starfighter left.

Alex Rogan: We did it.

Grig: Yes, we actually did, didn't we?

Alex Rogan: The command ship!

Louis Rogan: [trying to sleep, angry] What's up, Alex?

Alex Rogan: [walking out] Back to sleep, Louis, or I'm telling Mom about your Playboys!

Beta: You're blowing it, Alex.

Louis Rogan: [looks down from the bed, shocked] What the shit?

Beta: [imitating Alex] I said, back to sleep Louis, or I'm telling Mom about your Playboys!

Alex Rogan: [calling out] Maggie! You're never going to believe this!

Maggie Gordon: [slaps him, angrily] I told you, Alex! Me and my, how did you put it, "strange sexual urges" aren't talking to you anymore!

Alex Rogan: Hey, you look like me!

Beta: Of course I do. I'm a beta unit.

Alex Rogan: What the hell is a beta unit?

Beta: A beta unit is a simuloid. An exact duplicate, only not as loud!

Jane Rogan: [gesturing to Alex's ship, shocked] Alex, what is all this?

Alex Rogan: I, uh, I've been to another planet, Ma.

Centauri: Get a good look, Alex, you can bet your asteroids you'll be seeing more of them

[refering to a dead Zando-Zan sent to kill Alex Rogan]

Alex Rogan: What?

Centauri: This is a Zando-Zan. An interstellar hit-beast. Courtesy of Xur.

Alex Rogan: Xur? Why's he after me?

Centauri: Somehow he found out you're a Starfighter.

Beta: You see, Alex, you've gotta go back. You stay here, you're dog meat.

Centauri: Trust Centauri on this, my boy. Because in two hours, this park will be crawling with ten Zando-Zans, with just one thought on their microscopic little minds: kill Alex Rogan.