Aldo Quotes in Spy (2015)


Aldo Quotes:

  • Aldo: One day, lady superspy Susan Cooper, I will fuck you.

  • Aldo: How do you like my English accent? I learned it from the Downton Abbey!

  • Aldo: [Yelling] Hey, heroic lady! In my country there is a saying about women like you, "Hot as fuck!",

    Susan Cooper: Oh God. Not now, Aldo!

  • Aldo: Hello, captured lady.

  • Susan Cooper: Aw, come on!

    Aldo: You, in this outfit... Magnifico!

    [Susan slams door shut on Aldo]

  • Susan Cooper: I need you to untie me now.

    [Aldo motions to untie her]

    Susan Cooper: That's my ass!

    Aldo: It is very difficult to see or gauge my position.

    Susan Cooper: You're just simply grabbing my ass.

    Aldo: Oh, I am sorry.

  • Aldo: Breakfast is soived.

    Snaps: "Served", you paluka!

  • Snaps: Aldo, you're the witness.

    [turns paper towards him]

    Snaps: Witness!

    Aldo: Aw, boss, you know the rules: Never witness nuthin'. You live longer.

    Snaps: Just sign it!

    Aldo: [signing] Louie the Lug was a witness, look what happened to him.

  • Snaps: [pointing to Anthony] Pop this guy!

    Aldo: Boss! We can't have a stiff in the house with company coming!

    Snaps: You're right. It ain't proper.

  • Connie: I warned him, boss.

    Aldo: Anthony said it was a matter of life and death, boss.

    Snaps: And will you two mugs stop callin' me "boss"? It ain't respectable!

    ConnieAldo: Sorry, boss.

  • Aldo: Lemme me show you tha door;


    Aldo: There's tha door!

  • Aldo: [dead pan] This day has been an emotional rollercoaster.

  • Snaps: Now take Louie 'The Lug' McGurk. He died tragically at 25.

    Anthony: I'm twenty five. What happened?

    Aldo: Somebody stepped on his fingers.

    Anthony: And that killed him?

    Aldo: He was hanging from a window ledge of the Edison Hotel at the time.

  • Aldo: Oh, Dr. Poole! Come on in. The boss been expecting you.

    Dr. Thornton Poole: [chuckling] Aldo, do you realize what you just did?

    Aldo: What?

    Dr. Thornton Poole: You used the past participle without a modifier.

    Aldo: I did? What's the rap on that?

  • Oscar: I'm Oscar!

    Snaps: Get rid of him!


    Snaps: Expeditiously.

    Aldo: Right, boss.

    [Oscar screams as he is forcibly removed]

  • Aldo: Oh, I'm sorry. Rolf's a better bodyguard than a driver.

    Rolf: How you're doing?

    Howard: Rolf, huh? What happened to Trip? You guys broke up?

    Aldo: Don't be ridiculous, Howard. I'm a happily married man.

    Howard: Yeah, so is Mr. Brady.

  • Aldo: You never learn, do you, pal? So sad...

  • Aldo: [after being rejected over Howard as the young star's agent] For this guy? He's a fucking punchline!

  • Giovanni: [Aldo is trying to convince himself that Claudia and her husband don't exist - Aldo is looking at Giovanni with a shocked look on his face] What the hell do you want?

    Aldo: [turns back to the steering wheel] Holy Mary!

    Giovanni: Where's he going, that bastard?

    Aldo: [seeing Giovanni in his rear-view mirror] Oh, please! Why? *Why me?*

    Aldo: [covers his eyes with one hand and keeps his other hand on the steering wheel] I'll count to three. 1... 2... 3!

    [crashes into the back of Giacomo's car]

    Giovanni: [seeing the crashed cars] No!

    [crashes into them]

  • Navicomp Voice: Turn right in 500m.

    Navicomp Voice: Turn

    [Aldo slaps the speaker - navicomp voice becomes distorted]

    Navicomp Voice: right

    [Aldo slaps it again]

    Navicomp Voice: in 400m.

    [voice goes off]

    Aldo: Shut up, bitch!

    Aldo: [the taxi is shaking] What the hell is going on? What's happening?

    [the taxi drags to a stop]

  • Whitney: Little early to be drinking, isn't it?

    Aldo: It's five o'clock SOMEWHERE in the world.

    Whitney: Yeah, but it's two o'clock here.

  • Aldo: And how are the coupons, Mrs. Brady?

    Whitney: I already saved us ten bucks.

    Aldo: You are gonna make a great wife someday.

    Whitney: Is that a proposal, big guy?

    Taylor: Oh, no way. Aldo loves variety. He could never settle for just one guy.

  • Taylor: Just tell Whit I want to be left alone. I need a little Taylor time.

    Aldo: How about a goodbye rub?

  • Aldo: I will never be irrelevant in our life. I could call your parents right now and rock their holy world.

  • Whitney: Well, you know what? I'm just trying to distract myself while I give Taylor some space.

    Aldo: Then knit me a sweater, homo.

Browse more character quotes from Spy (2015)