Aldo Quotes in Spy (2015)
Aldo: One day, lady superspy Susan Cooper, I will fuck you.
Aldo: How do you like my English accent? I learned it from the Downton Abbey!
Aldo: [Yelling] Hey, heroic lady! In my country there is a saying about women like you, "Hot as fuck!",
Susan Cooper: Oh God. Not now, Aldo!
Aldo: Hello, captured lady.
Susan Cooper: Aw, come on!
Aldo: You, in this outfit... Magnifico!
[Susan slams door shut on Aldo]
Susan Cooper: I need you to untie me now.
[Aldo motions to untie her]
Susan Cooper: That's my ass!
Aldo: It is very difficult to see or gauge my position.
Susan Cooper: You're just simply grabbing my ass.
Aldo: Oh, I am sorry.
Aldo: Breakfast is soived.
Snaps: "Served", you paluka!
Snaps: Aldo, you're the witness.
[turns paper towards him]
Aldo: Aw, boss, you know the rules: Never witness nuthin'. You live longer.
Snaps: Just sign it!
Aldo: [signing] Louie the Lug was a witness, look what happened to him.
Snaps: [pointing to Anthony] Pop this guy!
Aldo: Boss! We can't have a stiff in the house with company coming!
Snaps: You're right. It ain't proper.
Connie: I warned him, boss.
Aldo: Anthony said it was a matter of life and death, boss.
Snaps: And will you two mugs stop callin' me "boss"? It ain't respectable!
Connie, Aldo: Sorry, boss.
Aldo: Lemme me show you tha door;
Aldo: There's tha door!
Aldo: [dead pan] This day has been an emotional rollercoaster.
Snaps: Now take Louie 'The Lug' McGurk. He died tragically at 25.
Anthony: I'm twenty five. What happened?
Aldo: Somebody stepped on his fingers.
Anthony: And that killed him?
Aldo: He was hanging from a window ledge of the Edison Hotel at the time.
Aldo: Oh, Dr. Poole! Come on in. The boss been expecting you.
Dr. Thornton Poole: [chuckling] Aldo, do you realize what you just did?
Dr. Thornton Poole: You used the past participle without a modifier.
Aldo: I did? What's the rap on that?
Oscar: I'm Oscar!
Snaps: Get rid of him!
Aldo: Right, boss.
[Oscar screams as he is forcibly removed]
Aldo: Oh, I'm sorry. Rolf's a better bodyguard than a driver.
Rolf: How you're doing?
Howard: Rolf, huh? What happened to Trip? You guys broke up?
Aldo: Don't be ridiculous, Howard. I'm a happily married man.
Howard: Yeah, so is Mr. Brady.
Aldo: You never learn, do you, pal? So sad...
Aldo: [after being rejected over Howard as the young star's agent] For this guy? He's a fucking punchline!
Giovanni: [Aldo is trying to convince himself that Claudia and her husband don't exist - Aldo is looking at Giovanni with a shocked look on his face] What the hell do you want?
Aldo: [turns back to the steering wheel] Holy Mary!
Giovanni: Where's he going, that bastard?
Aldo: [seeing Giovanni in his rear-view mirror] Oh, please! Why? *Why me?*
Aldo: [covers his eyes with one hand and keeps his other hand on the steering wheel] I'll count to three. 1... 2... 3!
[crashes into the back of Giacomo's car]
Giovanni: [seeing the crashed cars] No!
[crashes into them]
Navicomp Voice: Turn right in 500m.
Navicomp Voice: Turn
[Aldo slaps the speaker - navicomp voice becomes distorted]
Navicomp Voice: right
[Aldo slaps it again]
Navicomp Voice: in 400m.
[voice goes off]
Aldo: Shut up, bitch!
Aldo: [the taxi is shaking] What the hell is going on? What's happening?
[the taxi drags to a stop]
Whitney: Little early to be drinking, isn't it?
Aldo: It's five o'clock SOMEWHERE in the world.
Whitney: Yeah, but it's two o'clock here.
Aldo: And how are the coupons, Mrs. Brady?
Whitney: I already saved us ten bucks.
Aldo: You are gonna make a great wife someday.
Whitney: Is that a proposal, big guy?
Taylor: Oh, no way. Aldo loves variety. He could never settle for just one guy.
Taylor: Just tell Whit I want to be left alone. I need a little Taylor time.
Aldo: How about a goodbye rub?
Aldo: I will never be irrelevant in our life. I could call your parents right now and rock their holy world.
Whitney: Well, you know what? I'm just trying to distract myself while I give Taylor some space.
Aldo: Then knit me a sweater, homo.
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