Alba Bewick Quotes in A Zed & Two Noughts (1985)

Alba Bewick: In the land of the legless the one-legged woman is queen.

Alba Bewick: Imagine that, the body - in all its delicious detail - fading away leaving a skeleton with iron legs.

Alba Bewick: I am about to become a mother, and you are about to become a father... or fathers.

Oswald Deuce: You what?

Oliver Deuce: You are?

Alba Bewick: I am.

Oswald Deuce: Good lord.

Oliver Deuce: You can?

Alba Bewick: Of course! Is leglessness a form of contraception?

Oswald Deuce: I'm not sure.

Alba Bewick: You're not sure!

Oswald Deuce: I'm delighted!

Alba Bewick: You are delighted!

[suspiciously]

Alba Bewick: A pregnant cripple and you are delighted? Think of what it will do to my sense of balance!

Oswald Deuce: It might help! Give you more stability.

Alba Bewick: Then you recommend it? Recommendation's one thing. A womb on crutches is another.

Oliver Deuce: So... who's the father?

Alba Bewick: Well, well, well. Why don't you discuss it between yourselves?

Oliver Deuce: Why, don't you know?

Alba Bewick: Grand dieu! Does an animal behaviorist need to ask such questions? As far as I'm concerned, you both are.

Oswald Deuce: But you...

Alba Bewick: NO BUTS!

[smiling]

Alba Bewick: You're brothers, aren't you? What's a few spermatozoa among brothers!