Alan Shepard Quotes in The Right Stuff (1983)

Alan Shepard: Dear Lord, please don't let me fuck up.

Gordon Cooper: I didn't quite copy that. Say again, please.

Alan Shepard: I said everything's A-OK.

[an argument rages, primarily between Shepard, Glenn, Carpenter and Cooper]

Scott Carpenter: John's right! Now, whether we like it or not, we're public figures. Whether we deserve it or not, people are going to look up to us. We have got a tremendous responsibility here.

Alan Shepard: You cannot tell a pilot what he's doing when he's not flying!

[Argument continues]

Gus Grissom: Wait a minute, wait a minute!

[turns Glenn toward him]

Gus Grissom: You've got it all wrong, the issue here ain't pussy. The issue here is monkey.

John Glenn: What?

Gus Grissom: Us. We are the monkey.

Deke Slayton: What Gus is saying is that we're missing the point. What Gus is saying is that we all heard the rumors that they want to send a monkey up first. Well, none of us wants to think that they're gonna send a monkey up to do a man's work. But what Gus is saying is that what they're trying to do to us is send a man up to do a monkey's work. Us, a bunch of college-trained chimpanzees!

Gus Grissom: Fuckin' A, bubba.

Deke Slayton: Alright, so what Gus is saying is that we've got to change things around here. He's saying that we are pilots. And we know more about what we need to fly this thing than anybody else. So what we have to do is to alter the experiment. And what that comes down to is who is gonna control this thing from here on out.

Gordon Cooper: What Gus is saying here is that we've got to stick together on this deal.

Alan Shepard: Request permission to relieve bladder... Gordo... Gordo?

Gordon Cooper: Look, the man has got to go! Now it's either that or we get out the lug wrench and pry him out...

Chief Scientist: [with resignation] Do it... in the suit.

Gordon Cooper: José, permission to wet your diapers anytime son.

[the Mercury Seven walk through the space center after the response to Yuri Gagarin's space shot]

John Glenn: I'm tired of being forthright, gracious and magnanimous.

Gordon Cooper: Yeah.

John Glenn: I'm tired of these stupid questions from the press.

Gordon Cooper: mm-hmm

John Glenn: I'm tired of smocks, I'm tired of engineers telling us what we can't do, I'm tired of everybody that says we are not pilots!

Gordon Cooper: You tell 'em, John.

John Glenn: I'm tired of monkeys.

Alan Shepard: Yeah.

John Glenn: And most of all, I am sick and tired of being second to those... those darn Russians!

Gus Grissom: There ya go.

John Glenn: Now I think it's about time we...

Wally Schirra: got someone up there!

[the others voice their approval]

John Glenn: Let's f-f-f...

Gus Grissom: Fuckin' A, bubba.

John Glenn: That's right! Exactly!

Eric Sevareid: [broadcasting] There's another hold from NASA, another delay. Alan Shepard sits there, patiently waiting. What can be going through a man's mind at this moment?

[cut to Shepard in his space capsule]

Alan Shepard: Gordo?... Gordo, I have to urinate.

[Alan Shepard climbs into Freedom 7 to find a placard taped to the instrument panel reading "No Handball Playing In This Area". John Glenn looks in and smiles]

Alan Shepard: [hands placard out to Glenn] Not very funny, John.

John Glenn: Well, I thought it...

Alan Shepard: I do appreciate, John. I surely do.

John Glenn: [the two shake hands] Vaya con Dios, Jose.

Alan Shepard: Sounds dangerous

Recruiter: It is! Extremely dangerous!

Alan Shepard: Count me in!

[smiles]

Frank Sharp (Texan): Which one are you?

Alan Shepard: Shepard.

Frank Sharp (Texan): Oh yeah? Well, which one's Glenn? He's the one I want to meet.

Alan Shepard: He's right over there.

Frank Sharp (Texan): 'Scuse me.

Alan Shepard: [to his wife] Louise, I'm going to the moon, I swear to God. I'm on my way.

Alan Shepard: [during enema continence test] Tell me something, Mr. Gonzalez. You ever have any explosions doing this?

Gonzalez: All the time. It's a mess.

Alan Shepard: Tell me something else, Mr. Gonzalez. How am I doing?

Gonzalez: I think you're going to make it, man. I think you're going to be an astronaut.

[Shepard, loaded with a barium enema, is being escorted to the john in a very undignified manner]

Gordon Cooper: [mockingly] Good day Commander SIR!

Alan Shepard: You PRICK!

Gordon Cooper: As you WERE!

John Glenn: I don't want anything to put this program in a bad light. I mean, we've got the opportunity of a lifetime and I'm sorry but I am not going to stand by and let other people compromise the whole darn thing. You know and I know this could lead to something very unfortunate.

[Unsure which one says this: "What's ticking you off?"]

John Glenn: I'm talking about the playing around that's going on. I'm talking about the young girls. I'm talking about the cookies. I'm talking about keeping our pants zipped and our wicks dry around here!

Alan Shepard: Mr. Glenn, you are way out of line. I'd advise you not to try and foist your view of morality on anybody else in this group. Each man here has volunteered to do a job. Each man here is devoting long hours of training to prepare for it, and doing many things above and beyond the strict call of duty, such as morale tours of factories...

John Glenn: such as bringing girls up to your room in the middle of the night?

Alan Shepard: and foregoing any semblance of an orderly family life. And Mr. Glenn, as long as a man uses good sense, what he does with his zipper or his wick is his own business!

Scott Carpenter: [Comes between Shepard and Glenn] Now hold it just a minute!