Alan Parrish Quotes in Jumanji (1995)

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Alan Parrish Quotes:

  • Alan Parrish: What, are you crying? You don't cry, all right? You keep your chin up. Come on, keep your chin up. Crying never helped anybody do anything, okay? You have a problem, you face it like a man.

    [Peter continues to cry and Alan realizes what he just said]

    Alan Parrish: Hey, hey, I'm sorry, okay?... Twenty-six years buried in the deepest darkest jungle, and I still became my father.

  • Alan Parrish: [stuck in quicksand] Stop giving me things that come apart!

  • Alan Parrish: [warning Judy and Peter] You think that mosquitos, monkeys, and lions are bad? That is just the beginning. I've seen things you've only seen in your nightmares. Things you can't even imagine. Things you can't even see. There are things that hunt you in the night. Then something screams. Then you hear them eating, and you hope to God that you're not dessert. Afraid? You don't even know what afraid is. You would not last five minutes without me.

  • Alan Parrish: So, when can you start?

    Jim Shepherd: Well, actually, Martha and I were thinking of taking a little skiing holiday in the Canadian Rockies.

    Alan ParrishSarah Whittle: No!

    [all is silent for a brief second]

    Alan Parrish: Sorry. We just...

    Sarah Whittle: ...need you to get that marketing done on the new line, pronto.

    Jim Shepherd: No problem. No problem. You know, I can probably start next week.

  • Sarah Whittle: [reads] "Every month at the quarter moon / There'll be a monsoon in your lagoon."

    [Thunderclouds appear and open up]

    Sarah Whittle: Well, a little rain never hurt anybody.

    Alan Parrish: Yeah, but a lot can kill you!

  • Alan Parrish: [in terror] "A hunter from the darkest wild / Makes you feel just like a child."

    Sarah Whittle: What is it?

    Alan Parrish: Van Pelt.

  • Hunter Van Pelt: [leveling his gun at Alan] End of the line, Sonny Jim. Game's up. Start running.

    Alan Parrish: [as Sarah runs into the room] ... No.

    Hunter Van Pelt: Aren't you afraid?

    Alan Parrish: I'm terrified. But my father says you should always face what you're afraid of.

    Hunter Van Pelt: [chuckles] Good lad. You're finally acting like a man.

    [aims his gun at Alan]

    Hunter Van Pelt: Any last words?

    Alan Parrish: [Alan looks down and notices his game piece moving to the end of the board, after which the word "Jumanji" appears, reads it quietly:] Jumanji.

    Hunter Van Pelt: Eh?

    Alan Parrish: [slightly louder] Jumanji.

    [Van Pelt cocks his gun... ]

    Sarah Whittle: [runs to shield Alan] NO!

  • Judy Shepherd: [reads] "Don't be fooled, it isn't thunder / Staying put would be a blunder."

    Alan Parrish: Run! IT'S A STAMPEDE!

  • Judy Shepherd: What happened to you, you shave with a piece of glass?

    Alan Parrish: What happened to you, the Clampetts have a yard sale? What do you want, I never shaved before.

  • Sarah Whittle: Alan, please, last time I played this game, it ruined my life.

    Alan Parrish: [laughs] It ruined your life? "In the jungle, you must wait 'til the dice read five or eight."

    Sarah Whittle: I was a little girl, Alan. You disappeared, and a bunch of bats surrounded me and chased me down the street. I was afraid. I'm sorry, Alan. No one believed me. I was all alone.

    Alan Parrish: So was I. For 26 years, Sarah.

  • Sarah Whittle: [about Van Pelt] Well, have you ever thought about just sitting down and talking about your differences?

    Alan Parrish: What are you, crazy? The man has a gun!

    Sarah Whittle: Don't ever call me crazy, Alan! EVER! Because everyone in this town has called me crazy ever since I told the cops that you were sucked into a board game.

  • Alan Parrish: Twenty-six years ago, you played a game with a little boy down the street. A game with drums.

    Sarah Whittle: How do you know that?

    Alan Parrish: I was that little boy, Sarah.

    Sarah Whittle: [hushed] Alan...

    [she falls over in a faint]

    Peter Shepherd: [to Alan] You killed her.

  • [Alan is about to play a turn on the game, and he suddenly cracks up a joke]

    Alan Parrish: Okay, it's my turn. I got it! "Colonel Mustard in the Library with a wrench."

    [chuckles]

    Alan Parrish: "Clue."

  • Sarah Whittle: You might've told us there was a man in there with a rifle that hunts people.

    Alan Parrish: Well, I didn't know, okay? It's just the roll of the dice.

    Judy Shepherd: [sarcastically] Is he the reason you didn't wanna play?

    Sarah Whittle: [scoffs] You didn't want to play either, Mr. We-Started-Something-26-Years-Ago-And-Now-We've-Gotta-Finish-It?

  • Alan Parrish: [reads] "Beware of the ground for which you stand / The floor is quicker than the sand."

    [suddenly sinks into quicksand]

  • Judy Shepherd: Alan, are you ready?

    Alan Parrish: There is no "ready".

  • Sarah Whittle: [reads] 'They grow much faster than bamboo / Take care or they'll come after you'.

    [Jungle plants start to grow]

    Alan Parrish: Oh, great...

    Sarah Whittle: [whimpers] Oh, God, tell me this isn't happening!

    Alan Parrish: Oh, it is.

    [Alan, Sarah, Peter, and Jud huddle close to each other in the middle of the room]

    Alan Parrish: Stay away from the walls; don't touch anything. No quick movements.

  • Alan Parrish: Listen, Carl. I know it doesn't mean much after twenty-six years. But I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

    Carl: Sorry for what?

    Alan Parrish: It's me, Alan.

  • Judy Shepherd: [tries to roll the dice, but the game board doesn't recognize it] Alan, it's not working.

    Alan Parrish: [inspects the game board] Oh, no. It's not your turn.

    Judy Shepherd: Yeah, I rolled first and then Peter twice because he got doubles. Now it's my turn again.

    Alan Parrish: No, look. Two of these pieces are yours, right? What about the other pieces?

    [spots his old game piece]

    Alan Parrish: The elephant was mine. You're playing the game I started in 1969. I'm going to have to play.

    [Judy offers the dice to him]

    Alan Parrish: It's not my turn.

    Judy Shepherd: Whose turn is it?

    Alan Parrish: Sarah Whittle.

  • Alan Parrish: Where's Sir Sav-A-Lot?

    Carl: Monroe and Elm!

    Alan Parrish: The Episcopal Church.

    Carl: No, it's not a church anymore. Now it's a Speedy Burger. Or at least it was. I don't know what's left of it. People in this town are goin' loopy.

  • Sarah Whittle: Alan, you wrestled an alligator for me.

    Alan Parrish: It was a crocodile. Alligators don't have that little fringe on their hind leg.

    Sarah Whittle: My mistake.

  • Alan Parrish: Play the game, Sarah.

    Sarah Whittle: [whispering] Oh, no, no, no.

    Alan Parrish: All right. Just give me the dice, and you can go home. You don't have to play.

    Sarah Whittle: Oh, thank you.

    [Sarah gives Alan the dice but moves his hand making Sarah roll as Alan laughs; Sarah loses it]

    Sarah Whittle: Oh, my god! How could you do that?

    Alan Parrish: It's the law of the jungle, Sarah. You'll get used to it.

    Sarah Whittle: And I think of all the energy, I spent visualizing you as a radiant spirit.

  • Judy Shepherd: Listen, I know you're upset and all, but I kind of feel we should finish the game.

    Alan Parrish: We? Why do you need me?

    Judy Shepherd: Well, just in case any scary stuff comes out. Plus, there's a lion in my aunt's bedroom. What am I supposed to do about that?

    Alan Parrish: What do I look like, a Ringling Brother?

    Judy Shepherd: But she'll be home soon!

    Alan Parrish: Won't she be surprised! I hope she's not allergic to cats.

  • Alan Parrish: Do you know what happened to this shoe factory?

    Shoe Factory Bum: Yeah, it folded up, like everything else in this town. It's pretty cold out there. How about some coffee?

    Alan Parrish: Why would they close Parrish Shoes?

    Shoe Factory Bum: Well, when his kid ran away, Sam put everything he had to find him - his time, his money, everything. After a while, he stopped coming to work. He just quit caring. I don't think anybody loved his boy more than Sam did.

  • [after Alan jumps onto Carl's cruiser]

    Alan Parrish: What year is it?

    Carl: It was brand new.

    Alan Parrish: No, what year is it?

    Judy Shepherd: Uh, 1995, remember?

    Alan Parrish: [in shock] '95?

    Carl: You got some ID? Oh, let me guess, you probably left it in your other Tarzan outfit, right?

    Alan Parrish: [to himself] 26 years!

    Carl: Are you from around here?

    Alan Parrish: I was. But I've been in Jumanji.

    Judy Shepherd: Indonesia. He was in the Peace Corps.

  • Alan Parrish: Sarah and I would like to get out of the floor, so it's your turn, Peter.

  • Sarah Whittle: I thought I lost you again.

    Alan Parrish: Thanks for sticking around this time.

  • Sarah Whittle: [whispers] I knew this was going to be a bad day.

    Alan Parrish: [holds her hand] Hey, come on, you'll be fine. We just have to keep our heads. Roll with the punches.

  • Sarah Whittle: [after Alan got chased by Van Pelt] What is the deal with you and this guy?

    Alan Parrish: He's a hunter. He kills things, that's what he does. And right now, he wants to hunt me and kill me, okay?

    Sarah Whittle: Why you?

    Alan Parrish: Why me? I don't know. Everything about me he finds offensive. You'd think it'd be a waste of his time. Maybe he needs something for his wall, you know, a Parrish - something to go between penguin and partridge.

  • Alan Parrish: It's me! It's me, Alan, Mom and Dad! I'm home! I'm back!

  • Sarah Whittle: [Alan grabs her] Oh, get your hands off me!

    Alan Parrish: The game is not over yet, Sarah!

    Sarah Whittle: Well, it is for me! You are not in the jungle anymore. Stop this, you don't treat people like this!

  • Alan Parrish: Don't worry. I've done this before. Once.

  • Alan Parrish: [a pelican has grabbed the game] WHY DIDN'T YOU GRAB THE GAME, PETER?

    [chases after pelican]

    Sarah Whittle: [to dejected Peter] Just ignore him, honey, he's a Libra.

    [calls to Alan]

    Sarah Whittle: WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

    Alan Parrish: He'll head for water!

Browse more character quotes from Jumanji (1995)

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