AJ Quotes in Armageddon (1998)

Colonel William Sharp: It takes two people to fly this thing. Either we all stay and die, or you guys draw straws.

Rockhound: I say we all stay and die.

[pause, everyone looks at Rockhound]

Rockhound: But that's me.

AJ: I'll draw. Let's draw.

Harry: Nobody's gonna draw straws. I'll stay and take care of it.

Chick: Well, I can't live with that sort of thing.

Lev Andropov: Nobody asked you if you could live with it, all right?

Lev Andropov: Bullshit! No way I will let you volunteer for this, so I can go back to my home country like the man who did not volunteer! No way!

Bear: Hey man, let's draw, and let's see who's gonna stay up here and dance.

Rockhound: Hey guys? I-I know you guys think I'm crazy right now but, I would really like this responsibility.

Harry: All right. All right.

Rockhound: I can do it!

Harry: Let's just draw straws and get it over with. Come on.

Chick: I ain't drawin' against you, Harry.

Harry: Well, I'm gonna draw against you Chick, so you better just go ahead and do it.

[They draw straws]

Chick: Just gimme this thing.

Lev Andropov: [Lev looks at the straw he has drawn] Is this good, or bad?

[A.J. has drawn the short straw]

AJ: Oh man. Well, we all gotta die right? I'm the guy who gets to do it saving the world.

AJ: [Sharp reaches to cut engines, to return to the asteroid, since Stamper has not blown it yet]

AJ: Harry'll do it. I know it. He doesn't know how to fail.

[Sharp withdraws his hand]

AJ: [as the two shuttles are rounding the Moon pulling Gs] Is this supposed to be like this?

Oscar: Don't worry! This is normal!

Bear: How would you know?

AJ: Did you just refer to yourself as the Stifmeister? Coz that's, like, the lamest name ever.

Steve Stifler: I'm gonna fucking kill you.

Tank: What do you call that stuff AJ?

AJ: "Afganhi cusho kryptonite".

Tank: Killed Superman - I'm just a man

Ami: You really like a super special kind of asshole?

Tank: And I ride the special kind of asshole bus to school.

Ami: Hey, Alexis sent me to go look for ya so let's go.

Tank: Just havin' a little chit chat with my friend. Takin' a breather, breathing. Fuckin' goddamn what do ya call that shit AJ?

AJ: Afghani kush krytonite.

Tank: Kryptonite killed Superman, I'm just a man.

Ami: You really are like a super special kind of asshole, aren't you?

AJ: This isn't a frat house, it's a halfway house for morons!

AJ: Snow! I'm AJ. Come on, all this over three lousy teeth?

Keith: Make sure I don't come back like you, OK?

AJ: Hey, you think I like this? Or them? They're boring creeps! They don't call them walking dead for nothing! Try talking to one of them sometime.

Keith: I am.

AJ: I love you, Keith. But all I can see right now is food... And I'm starving! You carry my next meal around with you in your veins!

AJ: Dad, I fucked up, and I know you don't have time to deal with this stuff right now...

Avery: Not him, OK?

AJ: What?

Avery: I want you to leave him alone, alright? OK?

AJ: Why?

Avery: [Avery slams AJ against the wall] Wipe that fuckin' smirk of your face! You hear me? I want you to leave that fuckin' kid alone, alright? Look at me. Look at me! You wanted to come live with me right? You think this is easy for me? During this time, huh? I'm trying to make this work. I'm doing it for you. You can have anything you want, but I don't want you to touch that kid. You leave him alone. You under-fucking-stand me? Say yes!

AJ: [crying] Yes.

Avery: Look at me, and say yes!

AJ: Yes!