Adrian Yates Quotes in American Ultra (2015)

Otis: We lost two assets attempting to neutralize Wiseman-designate Howell.

Adrian Yates: How is that possible?

Otis: He was armed with a spoon, sir.

[from trailer]

Adrian Yates: This guy is a trained killer! We made him! He's a security risk!

Adrian Yates: Uh, your girlfriend's here. Would you ever like to see her alive again?

Mike Howell: I don't know.

Adrian Yates: So if I just took out my gun and blew her fucking face off, you'd be cool with that?

Mike Howell: No, that wouldn't be cool. Is she really there with you?

Phoebe: Mikey? I'm sorry. But I'm the tree. I've been the tree the entire time, you're the car. Okay? I love you. So you can leave. You can go wherever you want and they will fucking never...

Adrian Yates: [hangs up] That was really fucking lame.

Krueger: You directly interfered with a government operation. And as a result, you caused the deaths of innocent civilians. Is that correct?

Victoria Lasseter: Yes, sir.

Adrian Yates: You're absolutely right, sir. Thanks to Lasseter activating Howell, seven American citizens are now dead.

Krueger: This is an operation that you created and spearheaded without any authorization, is that correct?

Adrian Yates: Yes, sir. But you have to understand, I was self-starting.

Krueger: Excuse me?

Adrian Yates: Did I make some mistakes? You know, I did. Did I take some shortcuts? Sure. But in the end, I was just doing what I needed to do to create a cost-efficient exploit of a system already put in place. And if I'd pulled it off, you'd be thanking me. Right? Come on, you'd be fucking thanking me, right?

Krueger: Yeah.

Adrian Yates: Okay! Thank you.

Krueger: [kills Yates]

Victoria Lasseter: I don't know if this is appropriate, but please do not kill me.

Krueger: I'm your source. When I called to notify you that the sweep was happening, I did it out of respect and courtesy. And you've made me regret that now. It was not my intention for you to act like a child and try to save your puppy. The puppy was going down, I was notifying you of the puppy's death. But the puppy just shit all over everything! You have a crazy, scary rabid puppy that murders people and will still need to be put down. You understand that, correct?

Victoria Lasseter: Yes, sir.

Krueger: You better pray you can find a way to turn this into a win and pull a miracle out of your ass. Because if you can't, that's you.

[looks to Yates]

Victoria Lasseter: You already have your miracle, sir. My program worked. Wiseman beat Toughguy. Mike Howell eliminated 17 Toughguy assets single-handedly. That makes him the most effective asset we've ever seen in any of the Ultra programs. Ever! In 60 years. Pardon me for saying it, sir, but that is a puppy worth saving. That is a $400 million puppy. And you have him sitting in a holding cell right now.

Adrian Yates: Hello?

Mike Howell: Hello.

Adrian Yates: Who's this?

Mike Howell: You first.

Adrian Yates: Oh, fuck me. It's you, isn't it? It's Mike Howell.

Mike Howell: Yeah, who's this?

Adrian Yates: Is the house not all on fire?

Mike Howell: No. Man, the house is basically normal. So what's the plan now? I mean, like, do you surrender?

Adrian Yates: Fuck, you got me. I surrender. Why don't you come on down to the Max Goods parking lot and accept my surrender?

Mike Howell: The Max Goods on Wilson? Is that the one across from the tire shop? The Ten Minute Tires?

Adrian Yates: Yes! That Max Goods.

Mike Howell: So what happens if I meet you there. Like, how do you accept a surrender? Do I need to sign something?

Victoria Lasseter: Wiseman was my baby.

Adrian Yates: Yeah, and it's still-born. So what are you crying about?

Victoria Lasseter: So you're coming after my still-born baby?

Adrian Yates: I don't understand why you're so upset here. Aren't you the one who shut down the program?

Victoria Lasseter: Yeah, because it was a flawed model. Because we were hurting people. I didn't expect your yuppie ass to come riding in on a vulture and pick at the bones of my operation.

Adrian Yates: I was made supervisor fair and square.

Victoria Lasseter: You were made a temporary supervisor because you kissed the right asses.

Adrian Yates: Because I'm the right man for the job.

Victoria Lasseter: According to who? Daffy Duck?

Adrian Yates: Well, I guess I'm doing something right because I've had the job for about two years.

Victoria Lasseter: You're supposed to protect these assets. Not kill them!

Adrian Yates: Victoria, we're clearing the portfolio. Mike Howell keeps trying to leave town. He needs to be eliminated.

Victoria Lasseter: You're going to kill him for trying to leave town?

Adrian Yates: That's a security breach. I'm just doing my job.

Victoria Lasseter: He's a human being.

Adrian Yates: They're assets.

Victoria Lasseter: He's an American citizen.

Adrian Yates: They're government property.

Victoria Lasseter: Are you actually fucking insane?

Adrian Yates: Ow, language!

Adrian Yates: Well, if it isn't Miss Stockholm Syndrome 2010.

Phoebe: Yates. What the fuck are you doing here?

Adrian Yates: Whoa. That's unprofessional.

Phoebe: Who's running this operation? Since when did desk jockeys like you run field ops?

Adrian Yates: Well, I guess that's the problem with going dark for five years. You kinda fall out of the loop on a couple things.

Phoebe: Do you have authorization at all? Where's Krueger?

Adrian Yates: Phoebe Selburg. She who'd rather suck some stoner's cock than turn herself in for debrief, is going to question my authorization? I've read your file. You have no secrets from me! Your boyfriend isn't real. We made him. Oh, I'm so sorry that some lab-rat made you cum a bunch of times in the back of a Taco Bell. Yeah, that's probably a good reason to throw away your entire life! I guess it all worked out because look where I am now. In charge of a major operation. And look where you are. Under departmental arrest for insubordination, and your face is all messed up. And I'm going to get a promotion.