Adele Quotes in Dumb and Dumber To (2014)

Dr. Pinchelow: You know, I always wondered what Penny's natural father was like. When my late wife and I adopted her, we didn't have much information her birth parents. We were told her mother was single, and that she was... Well...

Adele: You can say it, dear. She was rumored to be a titanic whore.

Harry Dunne: That's a lie! Fraida never stepped foot on the Titanic!

Lloyd Christmas: You must be talking about the time she did the night crew on the Block Island Ferry.

Adele: Why do you feel you have to pass for someone with 20/20 vision when you're blind as a bat?

Wally: I don't feel. I have to pass.

Adele: Yes, you do. It's a sickness in your brain, just like if you were trying to pass for white.

Wally: You mean I'm not white?

Adele: I think David got a little messed up.

Dave: What did she say?

Wally: She said she thinks you're an asshole!

Ann: He said not to ever do that to me again. He said that if you do he'll have you taken off to prison and locked up and you'll never ever see me again, and you'll have to eat ice-cream on your own.

Adele: You went too far with the ice cream business. He did not say that.

Ann: Yes, he did.

Adele: No, he did not.

Ann: And he wants to adopt me. He finds me very attractive.

Adele: ...Thank you Ann, Thank you. And your fiance will be back here in 2 minutes to see if we moved the car.

Ann: You don't have a job in the Los Angeles school district.

Adele: I have an interview, and a great outfit.

Ann: This is like being kidnapped, you don't understand that do you?

Adele: I wish someone had kidnapped me when I was your age

Ann: So do I

Adele: [to Ann] Providence, Rhode Island? Couldn't you have gotten any farther away from me?

Adele: You live in Beverly Hills?

Gail Letterfine: No, I live in Santa Monica. Formerly from Bel Air. Formerly Brentwood. I've had a lot of formerlies in my life!

[laughs]

Gail Letterfine: But I'm fine now. I'm single, I'm free, and I love it! Well, most of the time.

Ann: Excuse me.

[exits]

Adele: She wants to be an actress.

Gail Letterfine: [gasps] Don't they all?

Adele: When you were four years old your father left you in the middle of the night!

Ann: So what! You left my stepfather in the middle of the afternoon.

Adele: You never were a small-town girl.

Ann: Thanks for knowing that, Mom.

Adele: [singing] Be optimistic, don't be so grumpy, when the road gets bumpy, just smile, smile, smile, be optimistic

Adele: Where are you going?

Ann: Japan.

Adele: You're not having sex with anybody are you?

Ann: What?

Adele: You know?

Ann: No, I don't know.

Adele: [Looks at her and tilts head, staring]

Ann: [Tilts head back, staring]

Adele: [to Ann] You are a beautiful girl with great potential. I'm not going to see your future as some nothing girl in a nothing factory in a nothing town! You are 14-years old. You have always had enough to eat. You have always had a roof over your head and if you stick with me you always will because I am your mother. I know what is best for you because that is my job. Plus, you're going to go to school in Beverly Hills which is only the best school district in the United States! And you'll be a child actor while you're still a child!

Adele: Ann! Come here, sweetie. This is Dr. Spritzer. This is my daughter, Ann.

Josh Spritzer: Ahh, a big girl.

Adele: Oh yes! We're more like sisters.

Josh Spritzer: So you're the actress, I hear.

Ann: Oh no! Not me, her. My mom. My mom's the actress.

Adele: Silly girl, don't be shy. Dr. Spritzer's an orthodontist and he works with the actresses. He did Heather Locklear. Her teeth.

Adele: I'm giving thanks that we don't have to go through this for another year. Except we do, because those bastards went and put Christmas right in the middle, just to punish us.

Adele: Come on. Where is everybody? People are starving in the former Yugoslavia.

Tommy: Enough! You're a pain in my ass. You have bad hair. But I like you a lot.

Adele: Well, You know me. I can't change.

Tommy: Believe me, neither can I. Ma.

Adele: Even as a little boy, you didn't want us too close.

Adele: Henry! A car full of Larsons almost died there!

Adele: [Answers the phone] Hello... who?... I never heard of him, consult your directory.

[Hangs up]

Henry Larson: [Night before Thanksgiving] Okay, I had a little pumpkin pie.

Adele: Hen-ry!

Adèle: Learn to lose, or you'll take wining for granted.

Adele: In this country what you do defines who you are. Anybody can raise a child but not anybody can play piano like you do.

Adele: Buddy says Glenn thinks you guys are real cool.

Adele: He did, huh? Well, tell Buddy if I see Glenn wearing his sunglasses I'll step on 'em. I might not even take 'em off first.

Adele: Hey bank robber! Hey, want some advice? Next time keep the engine running.

Emma: Why are you lying?

Adèle: I'm not lying.

Emma: Then why are you crying?

Adèle: I'm not crying.

Adèle: I miss you. I miss not touching each other. Not seeing each other, not breathing in each other. I want you. All the time. No one else.

Emma: Enjoying philosophy?

Adèle: [laughs] I love it. It's incredibly enriching. Very interesting. Very deep. Orgasm precedes essence.

Emma: Your grade better be good.

Adèle: Give me a grade.

Emma: Fourteen.

Adèle: Fourteen? Just fourteen?

Emma: [laughs] You still need some practice.

Adèle: I'll give it all I've got.

Adèle: I am happy. I'm happy with you, like this. It's my way of being happy.

Emma: Something to say?

Adèle: I don't know.

Emma: What?

Adèle: I wanted to know, when was the first time you tasted...

Emma: Tasted a sausage?

Adèle: Tasted a girl.

Emma: A girl? You mean kiss or taste?

Adèle: [chuckles] Kiss. To start with, then we'll see.

Emma: I was fourteen. Sometime around then. There was a party, all the girls had guys. I went out with Louise - that was her name, Louise. We didn't kiss at the party, but... I invited her to sleep over. That's when we kissed.

Adèle: Have you always preferred girls?

Emma: I tried both. I dated guys, girls, and I realized I preferred girls. For sure.

Valentin: What the hell?

Adèle: Why tell everyone we went to a gay bar? Why the fuck would you do that?

Valentin: It's not the end of the world...

Adèle: It is! They all think I'm a lesbian, eat pussy, and check out her ass!

Adèle: He's not the problem. I'm missing something. I'm all messed up. I'm crazy.

Emma: I was big on Sartre in high school.

Adèle: Really?

Emma: It did me good. Especially in affirming my freedom and my own values. And the rigorousness of his commitments. I agree with it.

Adèle: Sort of like Bob Marley. Almost.

Emma: [laughs] I'm not so sure of it.

Adèle: I'm almost sure of it. Their ideas are similar. You know "Get Up, Stand Up"?

Emma: Yeah I know it.

Adèle: He's committed.

Emma: [Nodding in agreement] It's true.

Adèle: Same as Sartre. A philosopher, a prophet, same thing.

Emma: It's nice here.

Adèle: [nods]

Emma: A little too nice?

Adèle: I guess so.

Adèle: You don't love me anymore?

Emma: You still need some practice.

Adèle: I'll give it all I've got.

Emma: What's your name?

Adèle: Adèle.

Emma: Pretty name, Adèle.

Emma: Adèle means something in Arabic. I think it means mmmm...

[thinking]

Emma: Sun.

Emma: [Adèle nodding] Hope.

Emma: [Adèle nodding] Love.

Adèle: [laughing] It means justice.

Mère Emma: Shall we toast?

[pauses]

Mère Emma: To love.

Emma: [laughing] To love.

Adèle: To love.

Mère Emma: Welcome Adèle.

Adèle: Big words. To love.

Mère Emma: Yes, to love, my love.

Adèle: You're talking crap in front of everyone! I'm not a lesbian!

Thomas: It wasn't good?

Adèle: Yes. It was great.

Adele: I can't give you a family.

Frank: You already have.

Adele: For all the discussions of body parts and hormones, they forget to mention how it feels. There's another kind of hunger. The hunger for human touch. Desire. People never tell you about how it feels. The longing...

Peter Appleton: [Seeing Adele at the cemetery] I didn't know anyone was here.

Adele: I was just... saying goodbye.

Peter Appleton: Adele, I'm sorry the way things turned out. I never meant to hurt anyone, least of all you.

Adele: People get hurt sometimes, we can't always help it. So are you really a communist?

Peter Appleton: No, I'm really not.

Adele: I didn't think so. Only a dyed-in-the-wool capitalist could have gotten The Majestic up and running.

Peter Appleton: Great endorsement. Can I call you as a witness?

Adele: Eh, if it helps. So what will you tell the committee?

Peter Appleton: Tell them what they want to hear: "Sorry, I won't do it again, blah, blah."

Adele: You're not serious.

Peter Appleton: What's wrong with it?

Adele: Everything.

Peter Appleton: Could you be a little more specific?

Adele: Aside from the fact that this is a free country, and you can be a communist if you want to be a communist - leaving that aside, if you're accused falsely you have a duty as well as a right to stand up and suggest they drop dead.

Peter Appleton: Emile Zola, you feel strongly about this.

Adele: Damn right I do!

Peter Appleton: Great, but it doesn't make the game any less rigged. There's a reason it's called a witch-hunt.

Adele: And there's burden of proof, innocence before guilt.

Peter Appleton: Maybe in law school. But the rest of us have to live in the real world and in the real world, I mess with these guys, I go to jail.

Adele: All the more reason to fight them.

Peter Appleton: Like Luke would've done? Go ahead, say it.

Adele: Yes. Like Luke would have done.

Peter Appleton: God, here it comes. Tell me again what a great guy Luke was, 'cause God I haven't heard that enough!

Adele: He wouldn've stood up to them.

Peter Appleton: Yeah well, he's not here... to vouch for that, is he? We have to take your word for it! And forgive me but everybody's memory of Luke is a little rose-colored in this town. Besides, I'm not Luke. While he was liberating Europe, I was running the PX. He couldn't wait to save the world! Me, I was happy not to go overseas!

Adele: Why?

Peter Appleton: [gesturing to the graveyard of soldiers] Because I didn't want to end up like him. I wanted to survive! You stand for a cause, you get mowed down. Look. Look! That's the real world. I want my Goddamn life back, Adele...

Adele: You remember movies but you don't remember your life?

Adele: Do you remember me?

Peter Appleton: [immediately attracted to her] No, but I'll sure try.

Adele: This is a free country, you can be a communist if you want to be a communist!

[last lines]

Adele: So what was your question?

Peter Appleton: I forget

[they kiss to the crowd's applause]

Peter Appleton: .

Adele: Dad, what is it? Oh my God, did somebody die?

Doc Stanton: Well... somewhat the opposite, actually.

Adele: Come on.

[opens window leading down to Town Hall's basement]

Adele: You first.

Peter Appleton: [pause, suspiciously] Why me?

Adele: [deadpan] Well, in the case the vicious guard dogs haven't been fed.

Peter Appleton: [silent, looks horrified]

Adele: So you can be a gentleman and help me down.

Adele: I'm trying to make up my own mind, about you being Luke.

Peter Appleton: [rolls eyes] Join the club. So what you do think?

Adele: The jury is still out.

Peter Appleton: Fair enough.

Adele: [she's just felt her baby kick and has put d'Hubert's hand on her belly to feel] Sir, kick for the general.

[the baby kicks and she reacts]

Adele: Perfect discipline!

Armand D'Hubert: [smiling] That's not a grenadier. Most ladylike, I assure you.

Adele: HE'S not kicking YOU.

[talking about a marriage]

Armand D'Hubert: If I were to neglect making you a proposal, no blame would attach to you. And I think perhaps you might be saved from a... sad dull life.

Adele: If you neglect to make me a proposal, my uncle will go mad.

Armand D'Hubert: Damn it, you are not put on this earth to coddle your uncle.

Adele: Men are pigs.

Beth: Yeah, for sure. You know it's pretty easy to put a collar on a pig.