Gloria Upson Quotes in Auntie Mame (1958)

Mame Dennis: [Meeting her nephew's snobbish dumb-blond fiancee for the first time] You're er, you're at school dear?

Gloria Upson: I am an Upper Richman Girls School girl.

Mame Dennis: Now, how did you get that lovely tan, so early in the spring?

Gloria Upson: Oh, I played hooky for a couple of weeks. Mums and Dadums and I went down to our place in Fort Lauderdale. We have a place in Fort Lauderdale.

Patrick Dennis: I was out of my mind until she got back. I am insanely jealous of this kid. Sheer torture and I love it.

Gloria Upson: [Coyly] Silly...

Mame Dennis: Tell me dear, have you er, have you chosen your major yet?

Gloria Upson: [With a blank stare] Chosen my major?

Mame Dennis: What courses are you taking at college?

Gloria Upson: Ah, well, just a general sort of liberal arts things, you know, English lit and like that. Upper Richman's a top drawer. *Really* top drawer.

Gloria Upson: Bunny Bixler and I were in the semi-finals - the very semi-finals, mind you - of the ping-pong tournament at the club and this ghastly thing happened. We were both playing way over our heads and the score was 29-28. And we had this really terrific volley and I stepped back to get this really terrific shot. And I stepped on the ping-pong ball! I just squashed it to bits. And then Bunny and I ran to the closet of the game room to get another ping-pong ball and the closet was locked! Imagine? We had to call the whole thing off. Well, it was ghastly. Well, it was just ghastly.

Gloria Upson: Oh, my, what a stunning apartment.

Mame Dennis: Thank you.

Gloria Upson: Books are awfully decorative, don't you think?

Gloria Upson: Miss Charles, I've just got to tell you how I adored you in "Mary of Scotland."

Vera Charles: Did you dear? That was Helen Hayes.

Gloria Upson: And, of course, it's completely restricted.

Mame Dennis: I'll get a blood test.