Abe Lefkowitz Quotes in The Ritz (1976)

Gaetano Proclo: You're a good man, Abe. I'm gonna have a novena said for you when I get back to Cleveland. What's your last name? Abe what?

Abe Lefkowitz: Lefkowitz.

Gaetano Proclo: I'll still have a novena said for you when I get back.

[Gaetano leaves]

Chris: You know, I had a novena said for me once. I asked to wake up gorgeous.

Abe Lefkowitz: So, what happened?

Chris: Well look at me!

Abe Lefkowitz: [announcing Chris's arrival] 340 coming up. That is three-four-oh. She's here, boys!

Abe Lefkowitz: People like you think the whole world is queer.

Chris: Well, it's lucky for people like you it is.

Abe Lefkowitz: I thought you'd sworn off this place.

Claude Perkins: I thought I had, too.

Abe Lefkowitz: You got homesick for us, right?

Claude Perkins: Well, I didn't have much choice. I've been barred from the Athenium.

Abe Lefkowitz: Come on! No one gets barred from the Athenium.

Claude Perkins: Well, there was this man there...

Abe Lefkowitz: A fat man, right?

Claude Perkins: Fat? He was the Magic Mountain! He threw me into one of my frenzies. I went beserk and kicked his door open, so they threw me out and told me never to come back again. I was willing to pay for it. I just wanted to talk to him. You know how I am.

Small Patron: I'd prefer something on three.

Abe Lefkowitz: [mumbling] Yeah, yeah...

Small Patron: [to Gaetano] Did they ever put you on four? It's Siberia up there.

Abe Lefkowitz: We got nightclub, movies, swimming pool, steam room, massage table, discothèque, bridge, amateur night... and free blood tests every Wednesday.